#21 Mallory and the Trouble with Twins

So, it’s always me who is holding up the snarking here on our blog.  Last time, it was because I had wicked morning sickness and really didn’t want to puke on my tablet.  This time it’s because I got put on bedrest.  Right, bedrest you say.  This is not fun bedrest.  This is you might lose your babies and die bedrest.  Yeah, I said babies.  And I’m snarking Mallory and the Trouble with Twins.  THIS is my friends’ sick humor.  Everything has settled down and I will now snark the book that has taught me how not to raise my twins (although they’re one of each, so we might not have the same problems).

We dive right in with the Pike kids in the car on the way to Washington Mall to buy shoes.   

The kids are all crazy and picking on each other, but the arrive alive.  They get the shoes they need and then wander around the mall.  Mal discourses on the BSC as she wanders to the ear piercing pagoda.  Mal is watching a girl getting her ears pierced with Claire and Margo, who scream when they punch the first hole.  Seriously, ear piercing is not that dramatic.

   Mal herds them away, hoping for the hole to swallow her up.

The next day is meeting day and we get more explanation of the club.  Mrs. Arnold calls needing a regular sitter for the next two months since she’s on a fundraising committee.  Mal lands the job, dreaming about all the earrings she could buy with all the money she’s going to make. 

When she meets the girls, she sees just how identical they are, right down to the penny loafers.  They have bracelets with their names to tell them apart.  Their room is identical, their beds are identical, toys are identical.  Mallory happens to comment about how much they look alike, which sets them off.  

They take of their bracelets, speak in twin talk and run amok.  Mal has no way to tell them apart and she can’t wait for their mother to get home… 

 Jessi and Mal sit for the Pike clan on a rainy day, but all the kids are playing nicely, giving them a chance to talk.  Mal calls her parents babies for not letting her get her ears pierced and Jessi brings up a litany of reasons why her parents might not want her to get her ears pierced.  Jessi casually mentions how she’s never had trouble telling the triplets apart.  Huh, wonder how that relates to this story…

Mal sits for the Arnold girls again and again they take off their bracelets and raise general havoc.  Mal can’t wait for their mother to get home…

Claudia sits for the girls next and they also switch on her.  This time, she sends the wrong twin to piano lessons and gets bawled out by Mrs. Arnold when she gets home.  Dude lady, can you not see that it is difficult for people aside from you and your husband to tell your kids apart?  Yet you insist upon making them identical in every way.  You win the Darwin award. 

Mal brings up the girls at the next meeting but no one really has any answers.  They all oooo and ahhhh over how adorable they are; that’s about all that happens.

And yet again Mallory sits for the twins and they instantly take off the bracelets and talk in their language.  Mal responds in pig latin and they reach an impasse.  Finally they call a truce and the girls show Mal how to tell them apart: the moles on their cheeks are different.  At the end of the day, Mrs. Arnold asks if members of the BSC would be willing to help at the girls’ birthday party.  Mal takes down the information and the BSC decides to help out! 

Kristy babysits her sibs.  We get an explanation of what an estate sale is (newsflash Ann, they’re not all nice!!!) and Karen and Hannie play twins, but soon tire of the game.

Look, even your charges think you’re boring!!

Mal, Dawn and MA are the BSC members in charge of the Arnold’s birthday party.  Mal can now tell the girls apart and greets them happily upon arrival.  They get to work hanging crepe paper and balloons and stuffing goody bags (Mal thinks they’re pretty nice compared to what she had as a child – she should see them now).  Mal goes to help the girls dress and they are a little depressed.  They are tired of being dressed alike and given the exact same things. 

 

The party is fun, but the girls get two of everything; Mallory is the only person to give them gifts that are not identical.  By the end of the day, the girls are angry and upset because they don’t feel like they are their own individual person. Wait, what?  You mean that these girls are two individuals with individual thoughts and feelings and interests?  NO! 

Mal babysits the twins again the next week and they show her all their birthday loot.  They get a lot of nice toys, but Mal’s simple gifts were their favorites because they felt like she knew them and tried to get them something they were interested in.  Mal tells them they should talk to their mother and tell them they don’t want to be her dollies anymore.  

The girls tell their mom and she apologizes, saying she thought THEY liked they way they looked.  After asking, she tells the girls to go ahead with different outfits and hairstyles.

Mal decides she should try talking to her parents about how she feels about her hair and wanting ear piercing, rather than just griping about it to her friends.  Her parents agree to her getting a hair cut and ear piercing, as long as it’s modest and she takes care of her ears so they don’t get infected.  Yay!  She calls Jessi, who then decides to ask her parents for pierced ears too.

Except Jessi's black and Mal is white, or so we're told a million times in this series.

At her next sitting job for the Arnolds, Mal gets to take the girls clothes shopping with their birthday money.  They each find different things they like (Mal too!) and they change to surprise their mother when she comes to pick them up.  She is pleasantly surprised. 

Turns out Jessi’s parents agree to let her get her ears pierced and Claudia’s getting another hole in one of her ears.  Kristy decides they should have a club party out at the mall while Mal, Jessi and Claudia get their ears pierced.  Now, at the malls around here, you have to be over 18 in order to have your ears pierced without an adult present, but this is Stoneybrook, so they just waltz up to the counter and ask for their ears to be pierced.  Mal goes first, then Jessi, then Claudia (who proceeds to pass out when it’s all over).  The Dawn decides she wants to pierce her ears too and scuttles off to find a pay phone to ask her mom’s permission.  She gets to have two holes in each ear!  Yay!  Then they go malling and have lunch at Burger King and I have to stop to wonder what Dawn had to eat.   

A few weeks later, we see Mal in a BSC meeting with a new haircut and new earrings…and braces.  Boo to braces, but she feels better about herself.  Kristy is practically jumping out of her skin and it turns out that she and MA bought earrings for all of the girls who had gotten their ears pierced.  Claudia also made earrings for everyone and Mal had bought Jessi a pair of book earrings before she knew about everyone else’s earrings.  Jessi opens hers privately and she and Mal squee together about being best friends, but not twins.  YAY!