#23 Dawn on the Coast (or Indecisive Dawn: Shall I Stay or Shall I Go Now?)

It is technically Tory's turn to snark, but she left to go camping for a week and anyone camping with four boys (yes, I included her husband) needs a vacation after the vacation.

And it's Dawn on the coast.  Just another reason maybe Sharon should have TRIED to stay in California for her kids’ sake. 

The cover is unremarkable, other than that Dawn looks like she’s wearing granny panties and a sports bra on the beach instead of a swimsuit.  Come to think of it, I think I had something that looked a lot like that when I was a kid…

We start with a note from Dawn’s dad saying he’s happy she’s coming to spend spring break with him.  The next page says, “First off, you’re probably wondering who Sunshine is.”  Well, based on the title, I’m guessing it’s you, Dawn!  I really hate it when authors do that.  Just say, “So my dad calls me sunshine,” or “Dad nicknamed me Sunshine when I was little.”  It just seems so contrived!!  We get our chapter 2 introductions out of the way and Dawn’s mom comes home.  She’s a little misty at Dawn being gone, but says she’ll be fine.  They decide to forgo the barley casserole and go out for dinner at Cabbages and Kings, a vegetarian place in town.  The way Sharon talks, it sounds like she misses California too…which again begs the question why she left.  There must have been something Ann’s not telling us!

Another chapter, another note.  I also find these kinds a books so slow.  If the chapter is going to tell us what’s happening anyway, why bother?  It’s so tedious I generally skip them and actually read the chapter.  Apparently any time anyone goes away for a vacation, there has to be a party, so they have a sleepover going away party at Kristy’s mansion.  Of course Karen is there for the weekend too so we have to put up with her Ben Brewer ghost nonsense.  They all squee and squidge together as girls a wont to do and generally have a good time.  Dawn promises MA a post card and lo and behold, the next chapter starts with a postcard entry to her from the plane.  It’s an unremarkable flight with a rude flight attendant.  Her dad, Jeff and her best friend Sunny meet her at the gate and Sunny promises a surprise the next day at 5pm.  Don’t be late, Dawn!

Dawn’s trip starts with a day at Disney.  She has a really good time with Jeff and her dad.  As the day goes on, it becomes more and more apparent to her that she really has missed Jeff and her dad. 

So, adter a lovely day at Disney, Dawn heads to Sunny’s house for her surprise.  Tada!  It’s the we <heart> kids club!  They have meetings, but things are way more laid back than the BSC.  No officers, no calling back clients after arguing over who gets a job, no uptight idea hound heading the ship AAAAND no junk food!

Dawn gets another letter from MA about a sitting job with the Newtons/Feldmans and Perkins kids.  The only remarkable thing about this chapter is that it references the immunities babies get from nursing.  Why isn’t that mentioned more in these books?  Couldn’t give equal time to the boob?  Ooops, said boob.  Ahhhhh…..maybe that’s why

Another postcard, another perfect California day for Dawn.  She is spending the day at the beach with her family and friends.  Her dad strikes up a conversation with her about life and Dawn is a little glum.  It’s becoming obvious she doesn’t like having her family split up, that she really misses her Dad and Jeff and is a little lonely.  After a great day at the beach she calls her mom and they have an awkward conversation.  Dawn is really happy in California but she knows her mom is sad and lonely in Connecticut.  Well… you’re in a divorced family.  Already there are going to be feelings of loneliness.  Add to it the giant split and the 5000 miles separating the two parts of the family and it’s going to be really tough. 

Dawn has a sitting job for Clover and Daffodil and she takes them to a carnival.  As she’s leaving to head home, Jeff comes looking for her to tell her that her mom is on the phone.  Dawn realizes that she hasn’t thought about most of the people back in Connecticut all day long and she wonders what that means.  Well, it could mean you’re having a good time and enjoying yourself on your vacation.

Jessi’s scrawl is on the next postcard.  She sits for Karen, Andrew and DM and of course Karen is all about Ben Brewer again.  At the end of the chapter we get another reference to the impending adoption of EM.

Dawn is at Sunny’s for another We <heart> Kids Club meeting and they’re talking about some of the kids they sit for.  The way they’re talking is almost like…mothers talking, not teens.  The other girls arrive and they hang out, working on healthy recipes for the kids they sit for and talking about Dawn’s old classmates.  Sunny’s mom invites her to stay for dinner and Dawn wonders if she could just stay forever.  Dawn kind of runs out of the room at the end of the meeting to get home to talk to her dad.

Dawn is so very torn.  She doesn’t want to leave Jeff.  She doesn’t want to leave her Dad.  She doesn’t want to leave California, the We <HEART> Kids Club and her friends here.  But she loves her mom.  She approaches her Dad with the idea over dinner and he is excited to have her out there, but cautions her about some of the possible setbacks.  And, apparently, Sharon still technically has custody of Jeff even though he’s living in Cali.  I thought they had taken care of that in book 15?  I dunno.  Anyway, Dawn tells her dad not to call her mom yet until she knows what she wants.  Jeff is super excited and wants Dawn to be there with him all the time and prattles on about all these things they can do together again.  Now Dawn, perhaps you should have brought this up with your father privately, especially since you don’t seem to know what you want to do?  She tries to call MA, but she isn’t home.  Dawn realizes she just wants to talk to her mom and have her help her figure out her emotions.  She wants her family back.

Kristy writes the next postcard about sitting at the Pike’s.  Did you know you can write secret messages with milk and use an iron to make the letters stand out?  I used to have a whole book on how to write different types of secret messages. I wonder how many kids today use secret messages.  They probably all just text. The postcard ends with Kristy telling Dawn that Nicky Pike misses her.

Dawn has a letter from her mom that tells her she’s excited to see her.  She also mentions she’s going to a lecture on humor.  Seriously Ann?  A lecture on humor?  Wow…Anyway, Dawn goes over to Sunny’s house to talk to her about it, but of course Sunny is going to tell her to stay.  Sunny ends up backhandedly insulting some of Dawn’s Connecticut peeps, which peeves Dawn, so she heads home.  Dad wants to know if she’s made up her mind and he needs to know by the next day at the latest.  Dawn lays on her bed to think, missing her mom and MA and wishing she could just bring them to California with her.  At the end of the chapter, she’s made up her mind.  And we don’t get to know what her decision is, only that she sleeps the whole night undisturbed.

She tells her dad the next day that she’s going back to Connecticut and he smiles and says he knew she would.  Then she calls her mom and asks her if MA can come to the airport too and her mom asks why she’s so shaken up.  Dawn explains everything and Sharon is pretty supportive, even telling her to seriously consider moving back if she wants to.  Dawn says she coming home.  She breaks the news to everyone else and while Sunny is sad, Jeff is angry with her.  Well, duh.  On Dawn’s last night in Cali, they go out for dinner and Jeff asks if she’s not staying because they’re boys.  Oh, honey.  Dawn explains her reasoning and they’re back to their happy sibling relationship. 

Dawn leaves the next morning and lo and behold, evil flight attendant is back so Dawn moves seats.  This is in the era of flying when a) you were allowed to do that and b) there were actually empty seats on a plane   She sleeps through much of the flight, although she’s awake for the movie Adventures in Babysitting.  This is an actual movie and I think I’ve seen parts of it, but I’m not sure.  It gets 6.6 at IMBD if anyone wants to watch it.

There is a lot of avocado love in this book.  Dawn even brings avocados back for her mom.  Were avocados not in the store in the late ‘80s?  Just not in the stores in Connecticut?  They way they talk, California is the only place to get an avocado.  Anyway, not only does Sharon bring MA to the airport, but the whole club is there to greet her!  They somehow manage to squeeze back into Sharon’s car and head home.  Dawn is happy to be back.  Yay!

Now, throughout this book I’ve been trying to figure out what kind of vegetarian Dawn is.  She’s not a lacto-ovo vegetarian because she eats fish.  She’s not a pescatarian because she eats eggs and some dairy.  Perhaps she’s macrobiotic or maybe a flexitarian.  It’s so hard to know!!

#20 Krisy and the Walking Disaster

Honestly, I found this book a little ho-hum.  But, here we go!

So, we see Karen and Andrew arriving for the weekend and joining DM in the backyard to play baseball.  To put it nicely, they aren’t very good.  But then, they’re 4, 6 and 7. No one expects you to be Babe Ruth and if they do, they need a good swift kick in the pants.  Kristy helps them out a bit before leaving for her club meeting.  We get the chapter 2 rundown and Kristy is scheduled for a job with Jackie Rodowsky….after Dawn runs screaming down the street.  The way these girls are about this poor kid…you’d think he was a carrier of the bubonic plague rather than a klutzy kid.

All through the weekend, Kristy plays softball with her sibs and some neighbor kids and she sees a need for them to have a team to learn on rather than Little League.  Someone throws that Bart Taylor has a team of kids who aren’t in LL so she decides to go talk to him about it.  Well, hubba hubba!  He’s a hottie and after their conversation, Kristy comes away with a serious case of puppy love and an idea to start her own team.

So Kristy has charged all the sitters with identifying kids who would like to play on Kristy’s team.  MA recommends both Perkins girls, Jamie Newton and Nina Marshall.  Jessi says Matt Braddock is interested and Mal calls with Claire, Margo, and Nicky to sign up.  Dawn recommends the Barrett kids and some of their friends.  Kristy’s got a pretty good list going.  But where would we be without the poor kid this book is named for?  Of course, Kristy recruits Jackie to play after sitting for him and his brothers. 

So now she has this list of kids and a bunch of questions about how to get started.  She talks with Watson, who is an avid baseball fan, and he helps her get started.

So Kristy has 20 kids, so she divides them into two teams for the first practice, just to see what they know.  Well, most of the girls can make clover and dandelion chains in left field, Gabbie Perkins can only hit a wiffle ball and the walking disaster hits foul balls.  Since they can’t find the ball, practice adjourns early.  But they do come away with a team name:  Kristy’s Krushers.

A sitting chapter.  Mallory and Claud are sitting for the Pikes and don’t really have to sit.  They just watch the kids play softball.

Kristy is more prepared for the next practice and divides the kids up to work on the different areas they struggle with.  They play another game and Kristy points out that the kids try really hard, even though they’re not really good.

Kristy volunteers to walk Shannon for DM that night and cruises nonchalantly past Bart Taylor’s place.  Well, what do you know?  Mr. Bart is out walking his Rottweiler.  They have a conversation that ends with them scheduling a match up between the Krushers and Bashers.

The next chapter, Jessi is sitting for the Barretts, who have Krusher’s practice.  So she’s sitting at practice with Marnie, who is also two, feeding her cheerios.  Then there’s a list of things you need to bring with you when you have a two year old.  Might I remind you that there is a two year old currently attending said Krusher’s practice? 

Dawn is sitting for the Perkins girls and Jamie Newton.  She escorts them to practice, the kids are heckled by some of the Basher’s players.  These kids got really mean and nasty and it really upset the Krushers (especially since the average age is 5.8).

They have one last practice before their big game with the Bashers and the kids play their hearts out.  Bart shows up at the end of practice and walks Kristy home.  IS IT LUV???

The morning of the big day, Karen rousts Kristy out of bed “early” (Dude, anything past 7 is sleeping in in my life these days) and they get a move on. There are lots of calls from Kristy’s players and she’s starting to flip out a bit herself.

The game gets going and everyone can see that the it’s a little lopsided, but the Krushers work hard.  It’s 6-3 Bashers in the second and Jackie is up to bat.  Well, one thrown bat knocks out the refreshment stand (that had to be one heck of a thrown bat to knock down a table!), another almost takes out the pitcher.  Embarrased, Jackie fakes and injured ankle.  Kristy figures it out and boosts his ego a bit before sending him back into the game.

Overall, it is a good game, ending 16-11 in favor of the Bashers.  After some good sportsmanship, Kristy sends her kids home and Bart comes over to walk her home.  He asks her if she wants to go out sometime.  She says yes and heads inside.  She makes some phone calls to friends and to the walking disaster, telling him she’s proud of his effort.  Then he breaks a lamp.  The end.

Mommy Moments:

-          if Mrs. Rodowsky ever got wind of the way these girls talked, they would not be sitting for them again, I’m sure.  Well, if I were in her place, that’s how I’d feel.  Eesh!

-          I don’t know if I would let my 2 year old play softball.  I just don’t feel that it’s a good idea.  What do you guys think?

-          One of the Bashers called one of Kristy’s players “fatso” at practice.  Later in the book, she also references him as such.  NOT COOL, Ann!!!

#21 Mallory and the Trouble with Twins

So, it’s always me who is holding up the snarking here on our blog.  Last time, it was because I had wicked morning sickness and really didn’t want to puke on my tablet.  This time it’s because I got put on bedrest.  Right, bedrest you say.  This is not fun bedrest.  This is you might lose your babies and die bedrest.  Yeah, I said babies.  And I’m snarking Mallory and the Trouble with Twins.  THIS is my friends’ sick humor.  Everything has settled down and I will now snark the book that has taught me how not to raise my twins (although they’re one of each, so we might not have the same problems).

We dive right in with the Pike kids in the car on the way to Washington Mall to buy shoes.   

The kids are all crazy and picking on each other, but the arrive alive.  They get the shoes they need and then wander around the mall.  Mal discourses on the BSC as she wanders to the ear piercing pagoda.  Mal is watching a girl getting her ears pierced with Claire and Margo, who scream when they punch the first hole.  Seriously, ear piercing is not that dramatic.

   Mal herds them away, hoping for the hole to swallow her up.

The next day is meeting day and we get more explanation of the club.  Mrs. Arnold calls needing a regular sitter for the next two months since she’s on a fundraising committee.  Mal lands the job, dreaming about all the earrings she could buy with all the money she’s going to make. 

When she meets the girls, she sees just how identical they are, right down to the penny loafers.  They have bracelets with their names to tell them apart.  Their room is identical, their beds are identical, toys are identical.  Mallory happens to comment about how much they look alike, which sets them off.  

They take of their bracelets, speak in twin talk and run amok.  Mal has no way to tell them apart and she can’t wait for their mother to get home… 

 Jessi and Mal sit for the Pike clan on a rainy day, but all the kids are playing nicely, giving them a chance to talk.  Mal calls her parents babies for not letting her get her ears pierced and Jessi brings up a litany of reasons why her parents might not want her to get her ears pierced.  Jessi casually mentions how she’s never had trouble telling the triplets apart.  Huh, wonder how that relates to this story…

Mal sits for the Arnold girls again and again they take off their bracelets and raise general havoc.  Mal can’t wait for their mother to get home…

Claudia sits for the girls next and they also switch on her.  This time, she sends the wrong twin to piano lessons and gets bawled out by Mrs. Arnold when she gets home.  Dude lady, can you not see that it is difficult for people aside from you and your husband to tell your kids apart?  Yet you insist upon making them identical in every way.  You win the Darwin award. 

Mal brings up the girls at the next meeting but no one really has any answers.  They all oooo and ahhhh over how adorable they are; that’s about all that happens.

And yet again Mallory sits for the twins and they instantly take off the bracelets and talk in their language.  Mal responds in pig latin and they reach an impasse.  Finally they call a truce and the girls show Mal how to tell them apart: the moles on their cheeks are different.  At the end of the day, Mrs. Arnold asks if members of the BSC would be willing to help at the girls’ birthday party.  Mal takes down the information and the BSC decides to help out! 

Kristy babysits her sibs.  We get an explanation of what an estate sale is (newsflash Ann, they’re not all nice!!!) and Karen and Hannie play twins, but soon tire of the game.

Look, even your charges think you’re boring!!

Mal, Dawn and MA are the BSC members in charge of the Arnold’s birthday party.  Mal can now tell the girls apart and greets them happily upon arrival.  They get to work hanging crepe paper and balloons and stuffing goody bags (Mal thinks they’re pretty nice compared to what she had as a child – she should see them now).  Mal goes to help the girls dress and they are a little depressed.  They are tired of being dressed alike and given the exact same things. 

 

The party is fun, but the girls get two of everything; Mallory is the only person to give them gifts that are not identical.  By the end of the day, the girls are angry and upset because they don’t feel like they are their own individual person. Wait, what?  You mean that these girls are two individuals with individual thoughts and feelings and interests?  NO! 

Mal babysits the twins again the next week and they show her all their birthday loot.  They get a lot of nice toys, but Mal’s simple gifts were their favorites because they felt like she knew them and tried to get them something they were interested in.  Mal tells them they should talk to their mother and tell them they don’t want to be her dollies anymore.  

The girls tell their mom and she apologizes, saying she thought THEY liked they way they looked.  After asking, she tells the girls to go ahead with different outfits and hairstyles.

Mal decides she should try talking to her parents about how she feels about her hair and wanting ear piercing, rather than just griping about it to her friends.  Her parents agree to her getting a hair cut and ear piercing, as long as it’s modest and she takes care of her ears so they don’t get infected.  Yay!  She calls Jessi, who then decides to ask her parents for pierced ears too.

Except Jessi's black and Mal is white, or so we're told a million times in this series.

At her next sitting job for the Arnolds, Mal gets to take the girls clothes shopping with their birthday money.  They each find different things they like (Mal too!) and they change to surprise their mother when she comes to pick them up.  She is pleasantly surprised. 

Turns out Jessi’s parents agree to let her get her ears pierced and Claudia’s getting another hole in one of her ears.  Kristy decides they should have a club party out at the mall while Mal, Jessi and Claudia get their ears pierced.  Now, at the malls around here, you have to be over 18 in order to have your ears pierced without an adult present, but this is Stoneybrook, so they just waltz up to the counter and ask for their ears to be pierced.  Mal goes first, then Jessi, then Claudia (who proceeds to pass out when it’s all over).  The Dawn decides she wants to pierce her ears too and scuttles off to find a pay phone to ask her mom’s permission.  She gets to have two holes in each ear!  Yay!  Then they go malling and have lunch at Burger King and I have to stop to wonder what Dawn had to eat.   

A few weeks later, we see Mal in a BSC meeting with a new haircut and new earrings…and braces.  Boo to braces, but she feels better about herself.  Kristy is practically jumping out of her skin and it turns out that she and MA bought earrings for all of the girls who had gotten their ears pierced.  Claudia also made earrings for everyone and Mal had bought Jessi a pair of book earrings before she knew about everyone else’s earrings.  Jessi opens hers privately and she and Mal squee together about being best friends, but not twins.  YAY!