#14 Hello Mallory

I’m Tess and I’m going to try my hand at snarking.  Poor Mallory hasn’t been singled out for a snark yet, so I thought I’d start with her.  She’s the only member of the club that is singled out to be unattractive and nerdy; I suppose they can’t all be gorgeous with luscious skin or radiant eyes or dead mothers.  Let the Mallory abuse begin!

I liked Rae’s shout out to the cover; there are some interesting ones in the series.  This cover has 16 year old Mallory playing with the Perkins girls while a 35 year old Claudia takes notes in the background.  C’mon now Hodges, the time warp hasn’t started yet!

The book starts with Mallory listing all the different names for glasses.  Yawn, I’m bored already. C’mon Ann, at least give a little effort into making her interesting!  Then we have the description of the Pike hoard.  Poor Dee must have been pregnant almost constantly for 6 years to have their ages work out.  All of the kids are described as having blue eyes and chestnut hair; I’m not sure when Mal’s is changed to red.  For being strict parents, they apparently have no problem with hair dye.  We move on to hearing about the BSC and how they are thinking of asking Mallory to join.  Stacy moved back to NYC and since Mal loves kids and babysits her own brothers and sisters from time to time, she seems a logical choice.  Currently she’s in charge of Claire and Nicky, along with Buddy Barret, who’s over to play.  The boys are playing volleyball and when the triplets come home, Nicky loses focus, gets hit with the ball and breaks some fingers.  Mallory is in charge of all the kids while mom and pop Pike take Nicky to the hospital.

Mallory takes great care with her clothes the next day since she’s going to the BSC meeting that afternoon and can hardly focus.  She does manage to notice that there is a BLACK girl sitting next to her.  Maybe it’s just because this is Milwaukee that I don’t get why most people found this to be a big deal.  Maybe suburban Connecticut has fewer minorities running around, which would account for the reactions, although we weirded out all the new kids that came to school mid year.  Anyway, Mal decides she needs a best friend, and the new girl (Jessica) is it!

Mallory makes it to the meeting and we get the general chapter two stuff.  They set up a test job with the Perkins girls for Mallory and Claudia and then Mal starts bragging up taking care of her siblings while Nicky was taken to the hospital.  The girls immediately jump all over her for “letting” Nicky break his finger.  That’s right, Mal, you should have used your anytime minutes to call the psychic networks to that she knew the exact second to jump when the ball went awry.  The older girls decide she needs to take a test and pass her test job to join the club.  Someone mentions that a black family moved into Stacy’s old house…

The next day is the test and Mallory leaves early, swinging past Stacy’s old house.  Jessi is outside with her sister and brother and Mal stops in to say hi.  They get along really well and Jessi pronounces she’s going to be a ballet dancer when she grows up (contrary to other books where she’s not going to be a professional dancer…seems to flip flop a little).

Mal has to run for the test and arrives on time.  The test is a total sham – this is stuff I wouldn’t expect anyone to know off the top of their heads, like the average age a baby cuts their first tooth or the difference between creeping and crawling.  I can’t really say I care if my sitter knows those little tidbit; I’d prefer she be able to dial 9-1-1 in an emergency and keep the kids from killing each other.  During the test, Mr. Perkins calls and announces his wife just had Perkins Prodigy #3, Laura Elizabeth.  By the end of the test, Mal knows she has failed and knows she needs to do well at her sitting job.

Of course the job goes “awful” for Mallory.  Claudia butts in a little bit and scolds Mal in front of Myriah and Gabbie for her handling of snack, for letting Chewy into the house, for asking Gabbie if she’s excited to see her sister and getting tears in response.  None of these things are a big deal, but Claudia makes them out to be that day and at the next meeting.

The girls are pretty hard on Mal and by the end of the meeting they haven’t decided if they want her to join or not.  In fact, they propose another test.  Mal’s had a enough of this nonsense and tells them to shove off.

Mal mopes along and runs into Jessi at school.  They pour out their woes to each other and decide to start their own club.  They pretty much copy the BSC, although they have kind of a neat name in “Kids Incorporated.”  It’s actually fitting since they ARE kids starting this business.  They offer two sitters for the price of one since they’re so young and can’t sit at night, just a little incentive to entice customers.  (Doesn’t really matter, I still wouldn’t hire 11 year olds to watch my kids).  Their first job is to sit together for the Pike brood on Saturday. 

Lo and behold Ms. Dawn Schafer is sitting for the Barretts the same day and not only sees the flier for the Kids Incorporated club, she sees Mal and Jessi sitting at the Pikes.  She tells the rest of the girls at their next meeting and they don’t know what to do.

Aside from their job with the Pikes, Mal and Jessi aren’t getting any jobs outside of their own families.  Kristy calls and pretty much just insults Mal, who doesn’t take any of it.

Jessi has been having trouble adjusting to the white neighborhood and the inevitably nasty people who will not like black people.  There is an episode of a neighbor mother calling her daughter back home when she comes over to see Becca’s bubble blowing contraption, BUT Charlotte J comes over with treats and starts to play with Becca.  Some things just take a little time.

The BSC is in trouble.  They have too many jobs and not enough sitters.  Obviously they need Mallory in the club.  They decide the were unfair and decide to call Mallory and ask for another chance.  Mal agrees, on the condition that Jessi be allowed to come too.

They go to the club meeting and set up test jobs for Mal and Jessi.  Jessi brings up the sticky point that not everyone in Stoneybrook is happy she’s black and she doesn’t want to hurt the club.  Kristy says they’ll deal with that when the time comes and that if clients of theirs don’t want Jessi to sit for them, she doesn’t really want to sit for them either.  This does come up in “Keep out, Claudia” and the girls do put their money where their mouth is.

Mallory sits for the Newtons with Claudia and does great.  She easily handles all the situations that come up and even lets the Perkins girls come over to play (Seriously, what is it with these sitters having every kid in the neighborhood over when they sit??) not to mention keeping her cool when the repair man shows up to fix the washing machine.  Claudia is impressed and says that she’s sure Mallory is in.  The end.

This book was weird to snark, just because Mallory wasn’t really in the club and the way it’s written is just…awkward.  Yeah, you know, just like Mal is.  Poor Mallory.