#31 Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Hi all!  My name is Tory and this is my snark.  I picked this book because it was my absolute favorite as a kid (you should see my copy…it’s held together by tape and rubber bands) and I can kind of relate to it now since I have a blended family, although my stepsons aren’t bitchy teenaged girls. J  Let’s get to it, shall we? 

This book continues from the end of the previous book, which ends with Sharon tossing her bouquet.  So, we’re leaping, leaping, leaping for the bouquet and Mary Anne catches it!  Hooray!  Dawn is righteously angry since it is her mother’s bouquet and she should have caught it.  Why but of course, Dawn, it should be yours.  Anyway, she gets into the spirit of things and congratulates her new sister and segues into the description of the great romance between her mom and Richard and how they ended up getting married.  Her musings are ended when Sharon and Richard leave for their honeymoon and their 13-year-old daughters head to the Spier house to spend the night alone. Mommy Moment: Seriously?!  You are going to let your 13 year old daughters spend the night alone at your house? Really??  But then, Criminal Minds and Law & Order SVU weren’t on yet to scare parents out of their ever loving minds. 

The next morning MA and Dawn wake up early after not getting much sleep (um, duh?) and everyone arrives to help move.  Of course, Claudia comes over and gushes about MA moving, starting the train of tears that only gets worse as neighbors come over bringing food and best wishes as the movers cart boxes of clothing and cleaning supplies out of the house to the moving van.  Then they sail away on MA’s river of tears to the Schafer house to let the unpacking begin.  Mommy Moment: I would think it easier on all parties to combine their assets and buy a new house.  Then it doesn’t feel like one side is giving up everything and it makes adjusting easier for the kids.  In the previous book, the girls decided they should share a room together, but Dawn is starting to regret it.  MA hops around, annoying the movers as she shrieks for them to watch out for Tigger, who is meowing and wandering around the house. Common Sense Moment: Lock the cat in the bathroom and set those boxes outside the door; that’s what we did when we moved.  Problem solved.

By Sunday MA seems to be done moping and she and Dawn decide to swap clothes for school Monday.  Jeff leaves, but he confides to Dawn that he thinks the new family has trouble ahead.  Mommy Moment:  Whenever you combine two families who have their own way of doing things, there is an adjustment period and it doesn’t always go smoothly.  The adults in this book could have done a better job of preparing their kids for this. 

Monday doesn’t start so well, with Dawn tripping over Tigger and laughing at MA for shrieking about the bean sprouts in the refrigerator.  I would laugh too, in all honesty, to see someone shrieking about things in a refrigerator.  And I’ve seen some nasty junk growing, believe me.  So, being laughed at puts MA in a bad mood and they’re both crabby at the meeting.  Mallory leaves the meeting sick and there starts the subplot of the Pike plague, with Mal having chicken pox.

On Wednesday, they look over the record book to rebook Mal’s sitting jobs and there is a job for the sainted Perkins girls.  Dawn and MA are the only ones available and they both want the job, because who wouldn’t want to sit for the future Nobel prize winners living in humble Stoneybrook.  Then MA pulls out the “I-had-to-move-from-my-childhood-home-you-look-fat-in-my-skirt” line which culminates in Kristy breaking them up and having them draw straws.  MA gets the job and gloats it up.  When she comes home from the job a few nights later, she has the gall to sit on Dawn’s bed and say, “well, aren’t you going to ask me how the job went?” which really means “I have spent the last two days gloating and being snotty and now I have a cute story to share and I’m going to pretend I haven’t been acting bitchy.”  Of course Dawn bites and they are friends again.

We take a time out for a sitting job with Claudia at the Pike’s place.  Mal is sequestered in her room with the pox and the triplets are at the doctor.  The remaining kids play ER until the Mrs. Pike comes home and announces the boys have pneumonia.  This has been part 2 of the Pike Plague.

The next time we see Dawn, she is complaining about not liking weekends anymore because MA and Richard ruin it.  It seems instead of working to combine their lifestyles, Richard and Sharon just kind of exist and then argue.  Sharon is, well, a slob and Richard is a neat freak.  Sharon is a vegetarian, Richard is a carnivore.  Mommy Moment: Richard and Sharon, you are the adults, you are the parents.  Unfortunately for you, the honeymoon is over and you need to get this figured out.  My husband and I talked a lot before we got married so the transition was (slightly) easier for the kids.  The problems come to a head one Saturday when Richard wants to “spring clean” and Sharon wants to shop.  So they decide to clean, which Sharon does half heartedly.  MA follows her around with a dustbuster, which makes Dawn mad.  She decides to get revenge by switching Richard’s socks, which drives him nuts. Sorry, there’s organized and then there’s OCD.  When socks out of order drives you nuts, you might want to seek some professional help.  Just sayin’.  They have a nice dinner (take-out), which is ruined with a disagreement about when to clean up.  Richard and MA clean, Dawn and Sharon watch TV.  Then MA goes to make a dramatic exit which is ruined by Tigger puking on the rug, which irritates Sharon (who doesn’t like cats in the first place).  I always laugh at this part because cat puke is pretty gross and watching a cat puke is worse.

The fighting just gets worse and the following Friday is a dance at school, which Dawn isn’t going to because no one asked her.  Passive aggressive MA snots about having Logan and throws this lovely gem over her shoulder as she breezes out the door, “Don’t think of yourself as someone who can’t get a date, okay?  It isn’t healthy.”  Nice.  If my sister said that to me, she wouldn’t be able to get a date in the future either. Dawn comforts herself by calling Jeff (her real brother), then going to bed.  When MA comes in, she flips on the light and starts calling for Tigger, which wakes Dawn up.  Then MA tells her about the dance and simpers that she should have come even if she didn’t have a date.  For real, woman.  Yes, if this happened to me, my sister would have been pinned to the floor being pummeled for waking me up in the middle of the night.  But Dawn just loves her and starts to feel she’s her real sister again.  Barf.

Again we break to the Pike place, where Stacy is sitting today.  By this time Nicky has re-broken his previously broken finger (#14) plus two more, so he’s down for the count.  The Pikes are going to a tennis match they had expensive tickets for and don’t want to waste. Mommy Moment: I understand the need to get out of the house and away from sick kids and I think the Pikes get a bit of a bad rap in this book in other snarks.  I’m not sure I would feel comfortable leaving my kids, but if they can get a break to be recharged and refreshed to deal with their sick and injured brood, go for it.  While Stacy is sitting Vanessa crashes her bike and ends up with a severely sprained ankle.  This has been part 3 of the Pike Plague.

We rejoin Dawn feeling lonely as she waits alone at Claudia’s for the rest of the BSC to come for their meeting.  MA is hanging out with Kristy, and while this is normal, Dawn feels a little left out.  ~Sniff ~sniff …it’s understandable considering she and MA are supposed to be besties and sissies.  When MA and Kristy arrives, Dawn gets the cold shoulder from her sis, even when MA announces the For Sale sign is gone from her house. So of course Dawn works her hiney off trying to get MA to love her again and thinks she succeeds until the end of the meeting, when MA sets up a sleepover with Kristy the next weekend.  Zing!  Dawn is back to feeling left out.

Still, she’s nice to MA all evening as they settle down for homework.  It turns out Dawn needs music to concentrate, MA needs silence and after a few requests for silence, they begin to argue about who should leave so they can get their work done.  They begin to scream at each other loud enough to beckon Sharon and Richard.  Sharon sides with MA; Richard sides with Dawn. Mommy Moment: I sided with the boys once after we were married and I never did that again.  The hubby and I present a united front, not sides, and the boys know they can’t split us on issues.  Richard and Sharon – present a united front!  MA plays the martyr and announces she’s sleeping in the guest room before huffing out.

Last installment of the Pike Plague.  Jessi and Kristy head over to the Pike’s house to help Mallory (who is better) care for her family.  Claire and Margo have developed bronchitis, Mrs. Pike injured her knee playing tennis (with the way things had been trending, did she not read the signs and see any physical activity would likely end in disaster??) and Mr. Pike severely burned his hand making dinner and had spent most of the night in the ER.  So they called the BSC for some sitters/cooks/cleaners for the day. Mommy Moment: Lucky ducks.  If this happened to me, I’d be on crutches taking care of all the kids.  That’s all I have to say about that. 

After her day with the Pikes is over, Kristy stops and picks up MA, who has just informed Dawn that she’ll be moving back in with her on Sunday.  YAY!  Goody!  I love my sister!! No, Dawn wants MA out.  Actually, she talked to Kristy about how things were going with MA the day after the fight.  Kristy (being EXTREMELY mature) doesn’t take sides, but just gives Dawn good advice about blending a family, her main point being everyone needs space (emotional and physical).  Mommy Moment: Richard and Sharon, you knew people who blended families.  Why didn’t you talk to them about this before you got married?  You could have helped your kids out (although how much do teens listen…). I was a single, flaky chick, but I knew enough to talk to someone before I got married to a man with two kids. Just sayin’.    Dawn spends the afternoon thinking about how they’re struggling to be a new family and all the fights they’ve had and how things haven’t really been working as a whole.  She looks around her room, sees how little space there is and realizes she and MA need their own rooms.  But she can’t just kick MA out…then she sees the secret passage and the idea of getting revenge AND having MA decide on her own to move out sprouts in her mind.  She spends the rest of the week plotting and planning, including the poor Pike family in her revenge strategy.  So after MA leaves on Saturday, Dawn gets the preparations for Operation: Scare MA ready.

Boo-Boo Alert: Although Charlie is driving Kristy, Dawn says hi to Sam when they stop to pick up MA.  Nowhere is it mentioned that he’s along for the ride.

This is my absolute favorite part of the book.  Maybe because I’m a little passive aggressive myself and I’d probably do this too.  Dawn’s preparations are ready and she is antsy for Monday to be over.  During dinner that evening, she sneaks into the kitchen, dials the operator and has the phone ring.  Oh noes!  The Pikes are pooped and need help, so Dawn will go over when Sharon and Richard leave for their PTA meeting.  Or will she???  She doubles back, goes into the passage and creeps close to her room.  She throws some acorns at the wall, wobbles an old saw and plays “The Howling Winds” Halloween tape.  Then she does doorbell dash.  While MA is checking the door, she sneaks into the room through the passage and lays a silk rose on MA’s desk.  MA screams when she sees the rose, almost making Dawn scream too.  She waits 15 minutes, rings the doorbell again and runs through the passage to the room.  This time she leaves a chicken bone on MA’s desk and sneaks back into the passage, making sure not to latch the door all the way.  MA sees the bone and starts screaming again.  Common Sense Moment: I never went to med school but I defy you to find a chicken bone that looks anything like a finger bone.  I would have looked at it and said, "oh, a chicken bone" not "oh, a finger bone."  Dawn starts slowly opening the secret passage door, prompting more screaming and MA runs from the room in terror.  Dawn climbs into the room, grabs the bone and rose, and heads out of the barn to the house.  MA is clutching Tigger, scared out of her mind and assures Dawn that the passage is haunted and she will not sleep another night in that room.  They move MA into the guest room and Dawn gives her the “now we’re sisters” present she had for her.

Boo-Boo Alert: Dawn gave MA a “now we’re sisters” present in the previous book and MA decided to give one to Dawn.  As things stand, MA has gotten two presents and Dawn none.

Dawn and MA are getting along better now that they are in separate rooms and Richard (finally!) proposes a chore chart so that instead of arguing, things just get done.  Sharon suggests that they make a bunch of vegetarian and carnivorous food on the weekends and freeze it to be thawed and eaten during the week.  Dawn suggests they be more honest with each other, especially about likes and dislikes, instead of tiptoeing around and pretending things are okay.  Mommy Moment:  My husband sat the boys down right after we got married and we talked about this kind of stuff.  I don’t get why Richard and Sharon just pretended everything was perfect instantly and didn’t communicate anything to each other or their kids.

At the Friday BSC meeting, MA and Dawn announce the house has been sold to a family that is from a foreign country!  (And thus begins the parade of interesting people that move to/visit Stoneybrook).  Mal is back and announces that the Pike plague is over.  Kristy daydreams about new sitting charges.  All in all, a good meeting.  Dawn and MA head home to find Sharon sitting on the couch with Tigger in her lap purring.  What do you know?  This whole blended family thing might work out after all!

I really liked this book as a kid because a) I wanted to be a doctor and the Pike plague intrigued me, b) I thought the secret passage haunting was hilarious, albeit rather mean and c) I hated MA, could never relate to her in her books.  As I look back on it as a mommy, eesh.  What the heck were Richard and Sharon doing anyway?  Dawn?  Scaring the snot out of your sister was not the best way to get her to move out. If you had just sat down and talked about it, you both would have realized it’s for the best if you have separate rooms.  (In case you can’t tell, I’m big into communication.  Used to get paid to do it. J)  I still enjoy this book, but the mommy in me cringes every time I read it!