#16 Jessi's Secret Language

Jessi starts her book by stating she’s good at languages.  I really wish this would have been brought up in her traits in following books instead of the standard black, ballet, loves horses line.  Apparently she’s so good at them, she almost became bilingual during the week her family spent in Mexico.  Again, if she’s that good, I think this warrants more mentioning.

Jessi gets up early, goes downstairs to her barre and thinks about the recent move, and how her family being black has been tough for them here.  Then she starts thinking about the tryouts for a ballet in the area called Coppelia that she is trying out for.  I’m imagining something like the end of White Christmas when they’re all singing and the kids start dancing in front of them.  Anyway, everyone else wakes up and they start their day.

Jessi dashes in late to the BSC meeting and doesn’t get eaten alive.  Instead we get the chapter 2 summary of everyone.  And why is it that every Jessi book always has a vocabulary lesson?  Introspective is our word of the book here.  There is a call from a new family in the area named the Braddocks, who have a deaf child. They need a regular sitter and would really like for the sitter to know sign language.  Jessi gets the job and she’s really excited.

We meet Jessi’s ballet class and get a little background knowledge about how things work there.  It’s interesting to find out that not everyone in the class likes Jessi, which turns out to be important 30 books later.  Jessi lands the lead role in the ballet and some of the other dancers, Katie Beth and Hillary, are pretty nasty about it, insinuating she got the role because she’s the newest dancer in the class.  Jessi kind of lets it get under her skin, but she and her mother have a talk about the school and its qualifications and she moves on from it and focuses on her new sitting charges,

She has her first training with the Braddock family and meets Haley first.  What strikes me is that Haley is described as having a rattail. I hate rattails.  Moving on.  Mrs. B and Haley start teaching Jessi “Ameslan”, the outdated term used in this book for American Sign Language.  I shall refer to it as ASL hereafter.  (Too much Downton Abby!)  Matt arrives home in the middle of the session and he and Haley disappear while Mrs. B teaches Jessi the basic signs she would need to know to sit.  Jessi goes to get to know the kids, but Matt wants to read.  Haley gets a little upset that Jessi seems more interested in Matt than her….hmm….

The next chapter MA is sitting for Jenny P.  Most of the time Jenny’s not being all that bratty, but this chapter’s pretty bad.  She makes fun of Matt when they’re out on a walk. I have no time for children who pick on other kids, or their parents. Haley gets upset and storms off – Jessi realizes that Haley’s having a hard time adjusting to her new neighborhood and Matt’s deafness isn’t making it any easier.

Finally the big day comes: Jessi’s sitting alone for the first time.  Mrs. B is (rightfully) a little nervous, but she manages to pull herself away.  After snack, Jessi takes the Braddocks over to the Pike house.  Vanessa and Nicky close in age to Haley and Matt, so Jessi thinks it might be a good match.  The Barretts are there as well and the introductions begin…along with the staring.  So Jessi introduces ASL as a secret language and instantly the kids are intrigued, so much so that Haley stays there teaching signs after Matt and Jessi head back to the Braddocks’ house.

The next chapter is a sitting chapter.  Mallory and Dawn are sitting for Mal’s siblings and they are quite wild, until they send the kids off to play and the house gets quiet.  Turns out they are practicing sign language and making up signs of their own.

Jessi’s part in Coppelia is a lot of work but she’s been putting in extra time and everyone notices in her dancing.  Her naysayers are even being…civil to her.  She’s waiting for her dad after practice and sees Katie Beth with her sister, Adele.  Turns out Katie Beth’s sister is deaf, but her family doesn’t much know ASL.  Jessi spends a little time showing her signs and Katie Beth seems to be interested.

Another sitting chapter!  Claudia sits for DM, Karen and Andrew.  Karen starts scaring Andrew, so Claudia distracts them with ASL.  She ends up calling Jessi a few times and Karen tries to tell a ghost story using ASL.

Jessi continues to her busy schedule, sitting and dancing.  As she spends more time with Haley, she finds out that Haley feels responsible for Matt, helping him make friends and defending him.  She resents all she has to do for him sometimes, because it makes her feel like an outsider too.  Haley mentions at one point that Matt’s never been to the theater and that sparks an idea in Jessi’s mind.

At the next BSC meeting, Jessi works on teaching the other sitters more about ASL and finger spelling.  During the meeting Mrs. B calls to tell Jessi “everything is arranged.”  Oooo….a secret.  Then she surprises everyone by telling them they’re invited to her performance of Coppelia. 

The next day Mrs. B picks Jessi up from school and takes her to Matt’s school.  Jessi makes a little signed speech inviting the students in Matt’s class to the ballet as well.  The students are very excited.

A sitting chapter!  Kristy sits for Jessi’s sister and brother and discovers that there’s a secret a-brewin’…Kristy doesn’t like to be left out of secrets.

Jessi finally tells everyone what she arranged for Matt’s class…and I wonder to myself why she kept it a secret.  It’s not as though it made a big difference.  I’m still puzzling over it myself. Anyway, it’s opening night and Jessi’s a little nervous, hoping everything goes well.  Mrs. B is signing and Haley is narrating before each act so that the deaf students can enjoy and understand the ballet better.  The ballet goes beautifully, Jessi does a wonderful job and the students really enjoy the ballet.  It turns out Katie Beth’s sister is in the audience and Katie Beth has been taking sign language lessons to communicate with her.  Yay her.

After the ballet, Jessi and her friends get together and surprise!  Jessi’s cousin Keisha is there as well.  This was the other secret Becca didn’t share with Kristy.  After everyone gets settled and has hugged, kissed, and cried, they all go out for dessert.  What better way to end a book than with dessert?

Mommy Moments:

• If I were the parent of a deaf child, I would expect my sitter to know sign language.  I know that would be a high qualification, but that would be up there on my “must haves” list.
• Just a thought:  Jessi mentions how expensive her toe shoes are, but that her parents are more than willing to buy them, even though she doesn’t plan to be a professional.  How much money would you put into something you know may not have a specific future for your child?  Just curious.
• Go Mama Ramsey!  She a)notices something bothering her child and b)addresses it with her daughter.
• Boo to the family of Katie Beth and Adele.  She’s your child, for Pete’s sake.  Learn ASL so you can communicate with her, even if she is in a special school most of the time.  I can’t imagine not making every effort to communicate with my child.

#5 Dawn and the Impossible Three

I drew Dawn.  This is her third book snarked and poor Claudia, one of the founding five has only been snarked once!!  Soon the odds will be ever in her favor…

So, I blame this book for my incessant need to have a clean house before any sitter comes over.  Most of the time, Dawn is whining about how messy Mrs. Barrett’s house is, so I have this phobia that if any of my sitters see the house in disarray, they are going to consider myself and my children “impossible.”  The other reason is that at the beginning of the book, Dawn (partially) blames the divorce on her mother’s disorganized habits.  Her father “just couldn’t live with it.”  Sorry, IMO disorganization is not a good reason for a divorce.  Just sayin’.

Looking at the cover, it looks like Dawn is with some ordinary kids in a not so messy house.  Impossible, you say…well, let’s just dive in and see, shall we?

After a relatively brief introduction, we find that Dawn is sitting for just a few of the Pike kids.  After her short and succinct chapter two descriptions, she meets Buddy and Suzi Barrett when Suzi falls on the front steps.  Dawn fixes the owie; soon after Mrs. Pike arrives and Dawn leaves for Mary Anne’s house.  Exciting news there – Dawn’s mom and MA’s Dad are on a dinner date!  They head over to Claudia’s house - they still are polite at this point and ring the bell – and talk briefly with Janine.  Why they make such a big deal about Janine, I don’t know.  Maybe because she’s Ted Mosby.  They start the meeting, MA gets a job with the Prezzioso “brat” Jenny and Dawn gets a job with a new client – the Barretts.  She’s excited because she’s a kid of divorce and the Barretts are just going through a divorce and it’s just meant to be.

When she gets home her mom is running out for her date, so it’s just Dawn and Jeff for dinner.  Just as Dawn is getting ready to eat, MA calls and tells her that she gets to redecorate her room and Dawn offers some of the extra furnishings they brought with them from Cali.  The next day she hauls them over to MA’s house and they start checking them out.  Kristy looks over and sees them together and MA invites her over.  Kristy gives Dawn the cold shoulder and tries to muscle her out, which worries Dawn.

Kristy continues to give Dawn the cold shoulder and Dawn realizes Kristy is jealous and feels left out now that MA has another friend.  Really?  Did it just now occur to you? 

The next day Dawn sits for the Barretts (Buddy, Suzi and Marnie) for the first time and she is greeted by actual children, not the Stoneybrook Stepford Kids.  They are messy and their clothes are askew (for lack of a better word).  What would you expect of children in the afternoon?  Unless it’s Jenny P, I’m guessing most normal kids aren’t perfectly spotless after being awake most of the day and their hair isn’t going to be perfect either.  Mrs. Barrett rushes into the room and rushes out – failing to leave Dawn any instructions.  Now, I get the need for emergency numbers (posted by the phone) where I’ll be and a schedule.  If I don’t have everything perfectly laid out, I would hope my babysitter would be able to function…I have my doubts about Dawn’s abilities.  She has the kids help her clean the house and then she does their hair.  By the end of the job, they start talking about divorce and how daddies never come back and Suzi starts crying and calls Dawn a liar.  Now I get that Dawn just went through divorce too, but I don’t want my sitter getting into a deep discussion with my child about something that’s personal.  Especially not my four-year-old.  I think I’d be a bit perturbed if I found out about this.

The next chapter is a sitting chapter and Kristy is sitting for Karen and Andrew.  The point I found interesting is that Kristy insists on talking to the parents of Karen’s friend Hannie before she comes over.  Apparently sitters are supposed to include parents in their plans.  I guess that gets lost as the series moves on.

Dawn decides she has to do something about Kristy, so she invites her over to spend the afternoon at her house.  They end up having a good time and the tension between the two of them subsides a bit.

Dawn’s next sitting job with the Barretts is all day and when Dawn gets there at 8:15, the girls are still in their jammies and she starts twigging out a little.  On the weekends, we don’t get the kids out of their jammies until 9, unless they want to get dressed.  Relax, Dawn!  After Mrs. Barrett leaves, Dawn prepares a mental schedule, since she’s meeting up with Claudia and Stacy for a picnic lunch.  Of course the schedule doesn’t go as planned, but they manage to make it to the picnic with brownies that they made.  As Dawn goes to give Marnie one, Mallory grabs it out of her hand, informing Dawn that Marnie is allergic to chocolate.  Yes, this is a big thing that she should have been informed of.  At the end of the job, Dawn decides she’s going to complain to Mrs. Barrett about her 4 grievances:

1. She never gives instructions (ok, I’ll give her that one)
2. She hardly pays attention to her children (a. not her business and b. how does she know?  She’s not there all the time)
3. She is disorganized (not affecting you that much, so I say no)
4. She’s only paying Dawn for sitting, not for housecleaning (which she never asked Dawn to do – it was Dawn’s choice to do it).

The next chapter is a Claudia sitting chapter and I had to check the chapter to find out whose entry it was, because the writing is fairly neat and, while she makes a few grammatical and spelling errors, she does not seem illiterate.  And we don’t actually read about her job with Jeff; the chapter is about Dawn’s woes with the Barretts.  She’s spending more and more time there, to the point that Mrs. Barrett says she’s the “glue holding us all together.”  This is where I look at DAWN’s mom and wonder why she doesn’t put her foot down and tell Dawn to cut back, especially after the whole Schafer family catches the stomach flu when Suzi is sick and Mrs. Barrett leaves the wrong phone number.  Buddy is also struggling with needing Mom time, especially with his special homework.

We have another sitting chapter that sets up the next book.  Stacy is sitting David Michael and he’s worried about moving across town to Watson’s house.

Dawn and her mom decide tohave a picnic for Memorial Day and somehow Dawn convinces her mom to get hot dogs and hamburgers.  MA’s dad and Dawn’s mom make goo-goo eyes at each other, to the slight annoyance of Dawn’s grandparents, but they come around as the day passes.

MA is the next to sit for the Barretts and she calls them terrors.  I call them kids who have been cooped up in a house during 3 days of rain.  There is a strange call from Mr. Barrett, setting up the next chapter.

Dawn’s sitting for the Barretts again and it’s finally stopped stopped raining.  She sends Buddy outside while she gets the girls ready and when she gets outside, Buddy is gone.  That is every parent/sitter’s worst nightmare. Dawn starts calling around hoping he went to someone’s house, but to no avail.  The neighbors start a search, but when Jordan Pike returns from his piano lesson and reveals that Buddy got into a car, Mrs. Pike calls the police.  The police arrive, question Jordan and start a neighborhood canvass.  Dawn gets a call from Buddy saying he’s with his dad and on his way home. Mrs. Barrett arrives home in the midst of this and finds out what happened.  Shortly afterward, Buddy and his dad arrive.  The story is that Mr. Barrett was so frustrated with Mrs. Barrett’s inability to keep the custody schedule straight and he decided to teach her a lesson. 

Dawn talks to Mrs. Barrett the next day and tells her she can’t do all that she has been doing and Mrs. Barrett agrees.  It’s also a good idea for Dawn to quit encouraging the kids and Mrs. Barrett to take advantage of her.

Everything turns out well and a few days later, Jeff comes to a BSC meeting and takes a picture of the gang for MA’s new room.  Here’s to the best friends you’ll ever have!

Merry Christmas!

Forgive us for being remiss in our snarking, but between shopping, wrapping, baking and shuttling kids to basketball, Christmas program practice and caroling, there's not much time for critical writing.  I can promise you that there is a Dawn book and Jessi book on the horizon.  I'm hoping to draw a Claudia book soon - we need some awesome outfits.  Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

#6 Kristy's Big Day (or as I call it Kristy's Big Week)

So why do I keep drawing the books featuring weddings?  Yes, we draw titles out of a bowl to snark, although everyone gets to pick one favorite.  You were burning with curiosity on that one, weren’t you?  "How do they pick which books to snark?  I have a burning desire to know!"

Beef one I have with this cover is that Kristy looks like she’s in her first year at NYU, not 12 going on 13.  What is it with Hodges over aging these girls?  Beef two: Since when do four-year-old boys tie their own ties?  It appears Andrew is tying his and without the aid of a mirror.  My husband can’t even do that and he’s worn a tie almost every day since he was 25.  The description’s a little corny too.  “Kristy’s a baby-sitter – and a bridesmaid too!”  I’m not going to touch that with a 10 foot pole.

The book starts with a Brewer/Thomas dinner party.  The ghost of Ben Brewer is discussed by Karen.  A September wedding date is announced by Watson and Elizabeth.  Kristy is excited to be a bridesmaid but Andrew declines to be in the wedding.  The stage is set for the rest of the book.

Just four days later, the plans fall through for a two reasons.  Reason one: Elizabeth’s job has her in Europe on the date of the wedding.  Reason two: The Thomas house has sold for the asking price and the buyer wants to move in in mid July.  So Watson and Elizabeth are now getting married in two weeks and they will be moving to the Brewer mansion the end of June.  Elizabeth is rightly panicked and the kids are rightly stunned.  DM and Kristy start whining, but Elizabeth gives them the MOM look.  DM shuts up but Kristy keeps pushing, finally stomping off to her room.  But she’s sad, as she has every right to be.  The move was already going to be a big adjustment for her and now she has very little time to adjust.

Elizabeth starts listing what needs to be done for the wedding in TWO WEEKS and I wonder why they don’t just hop down to the Justice of the Peace to quick get married and then have a big, fancy celebration later on when they’ve had time to plan.  This seems like some rather unnecessary stress.  Kristy comes to help and then is late for a meeting of the BSC.  This is in the days before it was a punishable offense to be less than 5 minutes early for a meeting.  We get all of the chapter two stuff in chapter three, and there’s actually a plot and story, not just as many facts and character traits (ew, diabetes!) as can be listed in eight pages.  Kristy explains the wedding situation, they assign some jobs and talk about the final fling dance.

After the last day of school, Kristy comes home and finds Elizabeth at the kitchen table again looking hysterical.  Apparently “Shelia” and “Kendall” (who later are Lisa and Seth) are going to England the following week and are leaving Karen and Andrew with Watson.  Ok, how many people just randomly go to England for “most of a week”?  This seems like something that would be planned ahead of time, unless it’s through work. I have no idea what “Shelia” does, but I know from the Little Sister books that “Kendall” is a carpenter. Is it a carpentry emergency?  Why do both of them need to go?  I like to think they got wind of the whirlwind wedding and decided to be real asshats and leave the kids with Watson on a moment’s notice.  Anyway, some of Elizabeth’s siblings and one of Watson’s friends are coming early to help with wedding prep and are bringing their children.  This means there will be 14 children getting in the way as they work on wedding prep.  Again, just go to the JoP and party later!  Kristy offers the services of the BSC, Elizabeth offers $600 to the girls and Kristy decides she’ll have an emergency BSC meeting to discuss it.

The next part is kind of unsnarkable because it’s really real, with the insecurities and worries that the kids have about having a stepfamily, moving away, how things will work with Watson.  For once Ann actually thought about what a kid might be feeling.

The next day is the emergency meeting and the girls decide they will take on the 14 children.  They divvy the kids into groups by age and make name tags and such.  Mimi pops in with sodas (POP!) for everyone and offers to help should they have problems next week.  I think Mimi was the universally loved character of the BSC, so of course Ann had to kill her off. :(

On Sunday, Kristy is rousted out of bed early and she and the sibs clean the house in preparation for the arrival of all the family.  Nannie (Elizabeth’s mom) comes over in the afternoon to help as well and Kristy pesters about her dress, since Nannie’s sewing it.  And I wonder if Ann has ever sewn, because Nannie says the dresses are basted together, but a long way from done.  In all the sewing I’ve done (and I made my own wedding dress, so I have some street cred) I’ve never basted an entire dress together before sewing it.  It just wouldn’t work.  There’s no way that would work.

All the family arrives and Kristy starts to panic when she sees just how much trouble the kids get into when there are 10 adults present.  Don’t worry Kristy, this is BSC land.  They’re only naughty for their parents (although there is some truth to that…my kids were always better for the sitter).

The sitters prepare the next morning for the day and then the kids arrive.  No one thought about allergies, medications, nap times, and crying children.  There are 7 kids crying when the adults leave, but the girls get the situation under control and soon things are going along swimmingly.

Five days of kids and the girls do pretty well, with only a few incidents.  Dawn’s group, which includes the “precocious” Karen, goes to the playground and Karen terrifies all the kids with stores of Martians coming to abduct them. The counselors ask them not to return.  Stacy takes her group to see a showing of “Mary Poppins” at the theater and one girl (Emma) loses her money and then drops candy over the balcony railing onto the people below.  The usher ushers them out.  MA and Kristy take the boys to the barber where the boys are just out and out nasty rude to the barbers.  Now maybe I’m an anomaly, but my boys have never hated haircuts as badly as these boys seem to. Yikes!

The last day it rains and they decide to play a pretend wedding, which the kids have a lot of fun with.  We get a mention here of Kristy’s other grandma – is she ever mentioned again in the series?  I’m sure that relationship is pretty strained.  It’s also the day of the wedding rehearsal and each child has a bag of clothes.  Emma decides to be naughty and switches all the clothes around, creating a huge hassle for the sitters.  The girls get things straightened out to the best of their abilities and the kids are presentable when the parents arrive.

Rehearsal is smooth, except Karen is freaked out by having white petals, sure it’s going to clash with “Morbidda Destiny” and her black magic.  This child’s obsession with the supernatural is not normal.  Watson, get her some counseling!  I’m surprised there wasn’t a Little Sister book called “Karen’s Ouija board.”  After the rehearsal dinner, the girls get paid…$120 each plus a $10 tip.  They’re rich!

The next day is the wedding day.  MA comes over to help Kristy get dressed, then the Thomas clan goes to Watson’s to get ready.  The wedding is lovely until “Morbidda Destiny” comes over with a gift.  Karen starts freaking out, Watson claps a hand over her mouth and then she bites him.  That kid.  Not cute.

After the wedding everyone leaves for home, a friend of Watson’s schleps Karen and Andrew back to their mother’s (who is apparently back from England) and Watson and Elizabeth head to Vermont for a week of passion, leaving the Thomas kids home alone.  Kristy has been wondering what to get for a wedding present since about the middle of the book and she finally made up her mind at the wedding.  She makes a family tree showing the joining of the two families, has Claudia help her decorate it and frames it.  Yay!

After the title being Kristy’s Big Day, you’d think there would be more focus on the wedding portion.  Instead it only gets about two chapters.  Oh well, it’s over, they’re married.  If I draw “Here come the Bridesmaids” I’ll shoot my foot.

#10 Logan Likes Mary Anne

Ug…I knew I would have to snark a Mary Anne book, but I am not a fan.  She’s the most passive aggressive and self absorbed of all the girls.  Oh, but I can’t be too harsh on her because her mom died…On to the snark!

“It was the last day of summer vacation….Tomorrow my friends and I would become eighth-graders.”  The first of many times you’ll become an eighth grader, Mary Anne.  Don’t get too excited.

The girls have their last meeting of the summer, which is kind of bittersweet for them.  They dish about Cam Geary, the BSC land heartthrob and MA’s true love.  Mrs. Prezzioso calls and everyone groans about Jenny…honestly, they way they whine about this kid, you’d think she was a hair-pulling, biting, kicking, back-taking terror who spends her time terrorizing the cat and destroying the house.  Anyway, they wrap up the meeting, taking a little longer to say good-bye to summer…

MA arrives for the first day of school, gets her schedule, blah, blah, blah, you remember, all the first day stuff.  That’s been too long ago.  Anyway, at lunch all the girls sit together for the first time, since Claudia and Stacy are so much more sophisticated than the other girls and talk about…boys.  There’s a nasty description of the lunch, which Kristy and MA decide to buy because bagged lunches are not cool.  Needless to say, it doesn’t get eaten.  Mommy Moment: If you aren’t eating it, I ain’t paying for it.   Anyway, MA sees Cam Geary…oh, nope, just a guy who looks like him and knows Stacy.  Behold the green-eyed monster!

Friday brings the next BSC meeting where Kristy gets her next great idea to advertise in the schools where parents will see them at their next PTA meetings.  Dawn suggests fliers at the meeting and then the idea comes up to advertise in Kristy’s new neighborhood.  We can all see where this is headed, right?  The BSC ends up with too many clients for them to handle and they need more help.  Enter Logan Bruno, Cam Geary look alike and lover of children….that doesn’t sound right at all.  He also has a dreamy southern accent.  MA is hooked.  He volunteers to help them out and they invite him to come to a meeting.

MA totally stresses, brushes her hair a million times and panics slightly during the meeting.  Obviously a boy in a group of girls makes for some awkward moments, especially when the topic of bras and some toilet stories.  While Logan is out of the room, all the girls feel this is awkward and worry about asking him to join the club.  He returns and they line up a trial job for Logan with a new client, the Rodowskys.  MA is going to be going with him….bum, bum, bum!

Here we meet Jackie Rodowsky, probably one of the most picked on kids the BSC sits for.  His mother mentions they need to keep an eye on him.  Well, he cannon balls off of the couch, falls from the shower curtain rod, spills an entire cup of juice on the floor, gets his hand stuck in a jar, falls of his bike, rips his jeans, and manages to knock MA into Logan’s arms (like she really minded).  Their day ends with Logan telling MA she has a pretty smile and she melts into a MA puddle.

Claudia has a sitting job with the Perkins girls (pre Laura) and she has an adventure with their dog Chewy stealing a construction worker’s orange cones.  Yawn.

At the next meeting the girls again debate Logan joining the club.  Yes, he’s a good sitter, but he’s a boy and the meeting with him there was miserable.  Still, they need help so they decide to ask him to join.  MA calls him later at home to ask him and he says he’s decided not to join.  On the plus side, he asks her to the Remember September dance and she says yes.

Stacy has the next sitting job for Charlotte Johanssen and Charlotte finds out that MA’s birthday is coming up.  She suggests a surprise party and Stacy (quite wisely) says that’s not a good idea since MA’s so shy.  Then Char says what about a regular party with a surprise cake and Stacy is intrigued.  She starts planning the party and hints to MA that she should invite Logan.

MA’s dad is okay with her going to the dance with Logan and even gives her his charge card for a new outfit.  Mommy Moment: For being strict, I think Richard is pretty easy going.  I don’t know that I would be comfortable with my 13-year-old daughter dating.  Of course, I don’t have a daughter, but still.  Maybe it’s just because I’m a mom, and teen pregnancy ads are everywhere, but 13 seems too young.

MA gets a great outfit and the night of the dance, she actually gets into the gym and over to Logan without freaking out.  It actually seems sort of normal for them to meet at the school; I don’t know if a 13 year old boy would actually get a flower for a girl though.  They dance together and start getting a little groovy when MA’s shoe flies off.  That’s the end of dancing for her and she spends the rest of the dance on the bleachers.  Common Sense Moment: People talk a lot more about you pouting on the bleachers than they do about your shoe flying off.  Learn to laugh it off! (This is another reason why I never liked MA ever).

The next notebook entry is Kristy sitting for her sibs and stepsibs while Dawn is over for a sleepover.  They talk about boys and the fact that MA seems to be maturing and really into Logan while Andrew, Karen and DM fight.

MA and Logan have some awkward phone conversation, Stacy calls and chides her for not asking her father about coming to the party, MA interrupts her father in a meeting to ask him and then calls Logan back to ask him if he would come with her.  Then she calls Stacy to confirm and then Kristy calls MA to talk.  WHEW!  It’s all arranged.

The night of the party MA arrives on time, but everyone else is already there (so they could sneak in their presents).  MA is having a great time with Logan when suddenly the lights dim, a cake comes out, her friends start singing happy birthday and MA runs out of the house and home.,

She sits at home and pretty much pouts, because no one thought about how shy she is and how she would absolutely hate to be the center of attention.  Those heinous bitches, how dare they try to do something special for their friend’s birthday. “I take people seriously, but no one took me seriously.”  Puhleese.  Think about someone else besides yourself for a change.  I’m sorry, but this is why I HATE MA.  Anyway, she sits there thinking Logan or Stacy will call and apologize and invite her back to the party.  They don’t.  She spends the rest of her evening having a pity party and being mad at her friends.

The next morning MA goes downstairs and point blank asks her dad for a cat.  He points out the cons, MA counters it and he says okay.  All he asks is that she take care of it and that she adopt one from a shelter. Mommy Moment:  A pet is not something you can decide on in an instant.  C’mon Richard.

Later MA calls Logan and he says that everyone feels bad and they hope she doesn’t hate them.  She tells him she’s getting a cat and invites him along.  She picks out a gray tiger cat and names him Tigger.  Logan gives her a silver bracelet for her birthday and invites MA to the 50’s fling the next month.  Mommy Moment:  You did not just give my 13-year-old daughter a silver bracelet (even though I don’t have one).  Seriously?  What teen boy would even think of that? 

Then MA calls Stacy and they apologize to each other.  MA invites everyone over to her house the next day to see Tigger.  They bring over some cake and her birthday presents.  She opens her presents while Tigger plays with the wrapping paper.  Everyone has some cake, except Stacy and Dawn goes and brushes her teeth after eating all that refined sugar.  It’s good to know this character trait is cemented early.

At the next BSC meeting the jobs are rolling in and again the girls suggest Logan as a sitter.  Instead of having him be a member, they decided to offer to make him an associate member and call him when they get really busy and need help and he won’t have to come to meetings.  He accepts and MA glows.  She’s so happy!  Yay!  Gag.  I need to go brush my teeth now.

#18 Stacy's Mistake

“Stacy has never been so wrong in her life!”  It’s on the cover, but I can think of some worse ideas than inviting your friends to the city.

The book starts with Stacy commenting out how only in New York can you be in a gorgeous bedroom and have a giant roach run across the floor. (She has obviously never been to Texas or anywhere south of the Mason Dixon line).  Stacy has always loved the city and is happy to be back.  The only thing she misses about Stoneybrook is the group of friends she left behind.  She even loves the homeless people, especially Judy, which is why her friends are coming to visit.  Confused?  Yeah, the first chapter of this book is filled with, “Do you have any idea what I’m talking about? Wait, let me back up.”  There’s a meeting about what to do about the homeless situation and since it’s not vogue to babysit in NYC and because NONE of these people have heard of a sitting agency, Stacy’s friends are coming to help her sit so all these parents can go to the meeting.

Stacy grabs a cab (so NYC cool) and gives us the lowdown on her friends.  Their train arrives, but they do not show at the meeting place.  Stacey paces and waits and finally they arrive.  They had followed the crowd and ended up outside.  Stacy is miffed since they had to have walked right past her, but decides to let it go.  Mary Anne is a walking guide book, Dawn looks as though someone is going to leap out and murder her and Claudia is carting a giant suitcase on wheels.  Stacy gives her grief about having wheels on her suitcase, but in these days you rarely see suitcases without wheels.  Must have been uncool in 1987 to have wheels on the suitcase.

They go to the Hard Rock Café for lunch and Kristy orders fil-it mig-non.  An honest mistake, but Stacy practically has a heart attack over it.  And really, a group of tweens at the Hard Rock Café alone?  I must be an old fogey. 

After lunch they head to Bloomingdales, where Stacy’s friends proceed to embarrass her further.  MA pockets what she thinks is a sample (it’s not) and store security chases her down.  Dawn almost falls down the escalator.  Kristy’s big mouth is loud and is exclaiming how expensive everything is.  Needless to say, NYC cool Stacy is not overly pleased.

Back at Stacy’s building, the girls start at the top floor and work their way down, meeting the families they will be sitting for the next day.  Dawn is freaked about the elevators and is sure one will get stuck until Kristy tells her they could just crash to the basement.  Sigh…are there no elevators in Stoneybrook?  Do these girls live in Amish country?  Plus Dawn’s from Cali; pretty sure there are elevators there too.  IT WILL ALL BE OKAY.  The actual meeting of the kids is pretty tame, although they point out they’re sitting for the girl in the penthouse.  What I want to know is why the kid in the penthouse doesn’t have a nanny and requires teens from Connecticut to sit for her.  Are her parents really cheap?  Is that why they can afford the penthouse?  Maybe I’m being too judgy of the NYC glam.

The head back to Stacy’s to get ready for the party and MA declares that Stacy will tell them what to where.  Everyone else is like wtf and in the end, MA decides against wearing Stacy’s recommendation, so what was the point of this?

Laine comes over early and she and Claud don’t exactly hit it off.  I tried mixing my home best friend and school best friend at a sleepover once.  Longest night of my life and the next day I was out two friends.  In my experience, this is exactly how it goes down, only with more food flinging. 

The party in general doesn’t go well.  MA makes fun of Dawn, Kristy finally talks to someone not from Connecticut and then Claud steals him away, Dawn hides in the corner.  Woo-hoo!  Somehow the party manages to last until 11.  Laine was supposed to spend the night but after a snippy fight with Claudia, Dawn bawling out MA and Kristy reaming out Claud, she opts to head for home.  Stacy assigns everyone their sleeping quarters and they go to bed.

The next morning, they have a tentative truce on hold and Krsity calls a club meeting to prepare for their sitting duties.  Every time someone makes a suggestion another girl doesn’t like, “TRUCE!” is shouted.  There are a lot of truces in this chapter.

The kids arrive, the parents leave and it’s time to put the plan into action.  The put the kids into two lines and march them to the museum.  They go to the dino exhibit, which the kids love, but at the next exhibit, they realize they’ve lost a child.  They split up and go to find him, which they do. 

After they find the kiddo, they have lunch and head for Central Park.  Having been to Central Park, I can tell you it’s a pretty amazing place.  They spend time at the children’s zoo and end the day with ice cream and popcorn and wandering through the park.  By this time the kids are tired and start squabbling, so they head back to the apartment.  The parents are there and the kids head for home.

Lanie calls and offers tickets and a limo ride to a show and the girls all decide to go.  They have a blast and are happy to really get to know each other.  Laine goes home ad the girls spend the rest of the night catching up.

The next day is their last day and they all are sad to be leaving.  They cry and hug at the train station and then the Stoneybrook chapter of the BSC heads for home.  The end.  The endings are always so anticlimactic and picture perfect.

Mommy Moments:

• Now I have learned in my many many years and through many many situations, you should never try to mix two different groups of friends.  Rarely does it ever work out well.  Why, why why Maureen would you suggest a mixer party?  Maybe she has had better experiences than I.
• “Have fun and be careful!”  It’s what Stacy’s mom says every time she leave the apartment.  I don’t know that I’d let my 13-year-old daughter go to downtown Manhattan alone.  I don’t plan to let my girls go to downtown Milwaukee when they’re 13, much less Manhattan.
• When all the kids are dropped off to be babysat, there are some crying children, as would be expected when dropped off with strangers.  Maureen does the wise thing and hustles the parents out, letting the sitters deal with the tears.  It’s always easier that way.  Sucky, but easier.

#22 Jessi Ramsey, Pet Sitter (or Jessi Ramsey Feels SIck to her Stomach for a Week))

Don’t you just hate it when you can’t find the book you set out to snark?  I think one of the kids ran off with it and now I have no idea where it is.  I read it before they lost it, so I will give this snark my best effort.

A little shout out to the cover: We see a 35 year old Jessi with a couple of kids surrounded by animals and a great dane looking rather superimposed in a random place. 

Jessi is sitting in her room trying to do her homework when Becca comes in and meows at her, wanting to play cat.  Then Ann jumps right into the introduction of the BSC.  It’s not quite to the extent of chapter two just yet, but the descriptions are pretty in-depth.

The next chapter starts with Jessi rushing into the meeting. She’s almost late, not even late, just almost late, but she gets the feeling she should apologize.  Kristy’s in some sort of mood and doesn’t even want Claudia to get her junk food out.  Then the Mancusis call and explain their predicament.  Their pet sitter backed out last minute and they are desperately trying to find a replacement.  Now it just so happens that Jessi’s ballet class is on vacation and the Braddocks (her long term sitting job) aren’t around either, so she has a free week.  She volunteers her time and Kristy is all like, “heck no, we don’t sit no pets” and “I haven’t given you my permission.”  At that point she stops and realizes that she’s going too far, relents, and “allows” Jessi to take the job.  If I were Jessi and Kristy “forbade” me, I would say fine and call the Mancusis later and take the job.  But we’re talking about an 11-year-old with a serious case of hero worship going on here; that’s not going to happen.

Jessi heads to the Mancusis, who have an obscene amount of pets, and we get our token vocab lesson: cacophony.  She meets all the animals and notices one hamster who is fat and alone in the corner.

The next chapter is a Claudia sitting chapter.  She takes Jamie Newton and Nina Marshall to see Jessi and all the Mancusis’ pets.   They all go on a walk with the dogs and run into the Perkins’ dog, Cheewbacca…yawn… Oh, and fat hamster is still fat and sleeping in the corner.

Well, at least the drama in the club is interesting.  Kristy starts being all dictatorish and Claudia calls her out on it.  Kristy’s lame ass excuse is that Charlie’s going to college next year and is bossing the rest of them around.  Heh, Chuck-o, you ain’t going to college for another 20 some years; save the angst.  All the older girls argue and Jessi and Mal sit and look on in horror as they watch their idols tear each other apart. When they leave, Mal points out that they might want the two of them to take sides and that causes more worry.

Another babysitting chapter, another visit to the Mancusis.  Seriously, I wonder how stressed out these animals already are having a stranger caring for them while their owners are away.  Really, is bringing more strangers into the mix a good idea?  Anyway, a snake escapes and girl genius Myriah Perkins figures out where to find him.  Oh, and fat hamster is still fat and sleeping in the corner.

Another club meeting, more drama.  Kristy brings in a checklist to ensure the girls are reading the club notebook.  She pins it over pictures of Claudia and Stacy on Claudia’s bulletin board.  Really, girlfriend, did you not think this through??  I find the club notebook a little annoying unless something important happens or changes with a sitting family, but since it seems that they have to write in it for EVERY SINGLE JOB it’s highly unlikely they aren’t reading it.  And really, right over top of the pics of Claudia’s best friend?  Claud rips Kristy a new one, and eventually all the older girls join in for a nice , rip-roaring fight, during which they all say they don’t like their jobs.  At the end of the day, Kristy calls an emergency meeting for Saturday to vote for new officers.

Jessi and Mal take Becca to the Mancusis and discuss the election while Becca plays with the animals.  They fear the club could break up over this. Oh, and fat hamster is still fat and sleeping in the corner.

Babysitting chapter, involving Kristy and Jackie Rodowski.  Jackie pretty much points out that Kristy is bossy.

She obviously didn’t learn her lesson because at the next meeting she dictates down to the letter how the elections are going to run.  There are tears from MA, which Dawn blames Kristy for.  Best line in the book:  “Look what I did?  I didn’t do that!  MA cries all the time!  She does it by herself!”  hehe….why yes, Kristy, you’re right on that one.  Everyone leaves as Kristy bellows that they should all be back the next day.  At four.  On the dot.  No tardiness.  No one is listening anymore, Kristy.

The next day Jessi talks to her mom before she goes pet sitting.  She wants her mother to tell her how to vote, but Mama doesn’t.  She tells Jessi to make up her own mind.  With that parental bit of wisdom (which I use myself from time to time) floating in her brain., she goes to feed the Mancusis’ pets and decides to try to touch fat antisocial hamster and almost gets bit….okay, time to take this pet to the vet!  She calls her mother, who bundles up Squirt and comes tot take her to the vet.  It is, of course, running up against the special meeting, so Jessi calls Kristy, who (rather kindly) reschedules the meeting. Turns out the hamster is prego.  Jessi puts her in an empty cage alone and just needs to wait for the babies.

Jessi wakes up early the next morning to take care of the Mancusis’ pets before they get home that day.  Then she heads to the emergency meeting, which is rather anticlimactic, with everyone voting themselves into their old offices.  Then they all go to the Mancusis’ house and watch the hamster give birth…then the other girls bug out because they shouldn’t be there when the Mancusis come home.  Hmmmm….perhaps you shouldn’t be there in the first place??  Anyway, they come home and offer Jessi a baby hamster in addition to the money they’re paying her.

The last chapter.  Hallelujah.  Everything’s back to normal.  Kristy puts up another checklist as a joke and ripping it up.  Um, haha?  Mal calls her parents to ask if they can have a hamster, which is supposedly their first pet, but in book one it was stated that they have a cat.  Anyway, everyone is happy and the hamsters will have a good home.

This was actually a boring book.  It was one of my faves as a kid, but I, yeah.  I can’t say that I miss my lost copy all that much.

The BSC in the News

Check out this link to the latest article about the Babysitter's club.   I find it extremely ironic that the interviewee talks about the "bible" they had of information for the series so not a thing would be messed up in the writing of the series when there are countless blogs and snarks pointing out just that.

#14 Hello Mallory

I’m Tess and I’m going to try my hand at snarking.  Poor Mallory hasn’t been singled out for a snark yet, so I thought I’d start with her.  She’s the only member of the club that is singled out to be unattractive and nerdy; I suppose they can’t all be gorgeous with luscious skin or radiant eyes or dead mothers.  Let the Mallory abuse begin!

I liked Rae’s shout out to the cover; there are some interesting ones in the series.  This cover has 16 year old Mallory playing with the Perkins girls while a 35 year old Claudia takes notes in the background.  C’mon now Hodges, the time warp hasn’t started yet!

The book starts with Mallory listing all the different names for glasses.  Yawn, I’m bored already. C’mon Ann, at least give a little effort into making her interesting!  Then we have the description of the Pike hoard.  Poor Dee must have been pregnant almost constantly for 6 years to have their ages work out.  All of the kids are described as having blue eyes and chestnut hair; I’m not sure when Mal’s is changed to red.  For being strict parents, they apparently have no problem with hair dye.  We move on to hearing about the BSC and how they are thinking of asking Mallory to join.  Stacy moved back to NYC and since Mal loves kids and babysits her own brothers and sisters from time to time, she seems a logical choice.  Currently she’s in charge of Claire and Nicky, along with Buddy Barret, who’s over to play.  The boys are playing volleyball and when the triplets come home, Nicky loses focus, gets hit with the ball and breaks some fingers.  Mallory is in charge of all the kids while mom and pop Pike take Nicky to the hospital.

Mallory takes great care with her clothes the next day since she’s going to the BSC meeting that afternoon and can hardly focus.  She does manage to notice that there is a BLACK girl sitting next to her.  Maybe it’s just because this is Milwaukee that I don’t get why most people found this to be a big deal.  Maybe suburban Connecticut has fewer minorities running around, which would account for the reactions, although we weirded out all the new kids that came to school mid year.  Anyway, Mal decides she needs a best friend, and the new girl (Jessica) is it!

Mallory makes it to the meeting and we get the general chapter two stuff.  They set up a test job with the Perkins girls for Mallory and Claudia and then Mal starts bragging up taking care of her siblings while Nicky was taken to the hospital.  The girls immediately jump all over her for “letting” Nicky break his finger.  That’s right, Mal, you should have used your anytime minutes to call the psychic networks to that she knew the exact second to jump when the ball went awry.  The older girls decide she needs to take a test and pass her test job to join the club.  Someone mentions that a black family moved into Stacy’s old house…

The next day is the test and Mallory leaves early, swinging past Stacy’s old house.  Jessi is outside with her sister and brother and Mal stops in to say hi.  They get along really well and Jessi pronounces she’s going to be a ballet dancer when she grows up (contrary to other books where she’s not going to be a professional dancer…seems to flip flop a little).

Mal has to run for the test and arrives on time.  The test is a total sham – this is stuff I wouldn’t expect anyone to know off the top of their heads, like the average age a baby cuts their first tooth or the difference between creeping and crawling.  I can’t really say I care if my sitter knows those little tidbit; I’d prefer she be able to dial 9-1-1 in an emergency and keep the kids from killing each other.  During the test, Mr. Perkins calls and announces his wife just had Perkins Prodigy #3, Laura Elizabeth.  By the end of the test, Mal knows she has failed and knows she needs to do well at her sitting job.

Of course the job goes “awful” for Mallory.  Claudia butts in a little bit and scolds Mal in front of Myriah and Gabbie for her handling of snack, for letting Chewy into the house, for asking Gabbie if she’s excited to see her sister and getting tears in response.  None of these things are a big deal, but Claudia makes them out to be that day and at the next meeting.

The girls are pretty hard on Mal and by the end of the meeting they haven’t decided if they want her to join or not.  In fact, they propose another test.  Mal’s had a enough of this nonsense and tells them to shove off.

Mal mopes along and runs into Jessi at school.  They pour out their woes to each other and decide to start their own club.  They pretty much copy the BSC, although they have kind of a neat name in “Kids Incorporated.”  It’s actually fitting since they ARE kids starting this business.  They offer two sitters for the price of one since they’re so young and can’t sit at night, just a little incentive to entice customers.  (Doesn’t really matter, I still wouldn’t hire 11 year olds to watch my kids).  Their first job is to sit together for the Pike brood on Saturday. 

Lo and behold Ms. Dawn Schafer is sitting for the Barretts the same day and not only sees the flier for the Kids Incorporated club, she sees Mal and Jessi sitting at the Pikes.  She tells the rest of the girls at their next meeting and they don’t know what to do.

Aside from their job with the Pikes, Mal and Jessi aren’t getting any jobs outside of their own families.  Kristy calls and pretty much just insults Mal, who doesn’t take any of it.

Jessi has been having trouble adjusting to the white neighborhood and the inevitably nasty people who will not like black people.  There is an episode of a neighbor mother calling her daughter back home when she comes over to see Becca’s bubble blowing contraption, BUT Charlotte J comes over with treats and starts to play with Becca.  Some things just take a little time.

The BSC is in trouble.  They have too many jobs and not enough sitters.  Obviously they need Mallory in the club.  They decide the were unfair and decide to call Mallory and ask for another chance.  Mal agrees, on the condition that Jessi be allowed to come too.

They go to the club meeting and set up test jobs for Mal and Jessi.  Jessi brings up the sticky point that not everyone in Stoneybrook is happy she’s black and she doesn’t want to hurt the club.  Kristy says they’ll deal with that when the time comes and that if clients of theirs don’t want Jessi to sit for them, she doesn’t really want to sit for them either.  This does come up in “Keep out, Claudia” and the girls do put their money where their mouth is.

Mallory sits for the Newtons with Claudia and does great.  She easily handles all the situations that come up and even lets the Perkins girls come over to play (Seriously, what is it with these sitters having every kid in the neighborhood over when they sit??) not to mention keeping her cool when the repair man shows up to fix the washing machine.  Claudia is impressed and says that she’s sure Mallory is in.  The end.

This book was weird to snark, just because Mallory wasn’t really in the club and the way it’s written is just…awkward.  Yeah, you know, just like Mal is.  Poor Mallory.

SAHM Portrait Collection: Bonnie

My first child refused to nurse.  (Great opening line, huh?)  My mom had sent me my collection of BSC books so I read them while I was pumping.  I was missing a bunch and in my curiosity to know the later plotlines, I stumbled across some grade A snarks.  Soon I was hooked.  I finally thought that I had read enough snarks and that I'm a sarcastic enough person to think I could snark a bit and put it on a blog  I really wanted to look at these books from a parental perspective, because I know a lot of snarkers out there aren't parents and it puts a different spin on things once you are.  I posted my first post and instantly knew I wasn't going to be able to keep up with it, so I asked my other mommy friends (who are also very sarcastic...irony...) if they wanted to help me out.  And so, we have the blog.  Another friend of ours is going to be joining soon; you'll meet Tess in the next snark.
A bit about me.  I'm the youngest of 5 by a lot, so I babysat nieces and nephews when I was a kid. (Sidebar: I'm going to be a great aunt in December and I just turned 30 last week.  YIKES!).  I used to teach; in my experiences, I have taught preschool through 8th grade at some point in time.  Because of my teaching experiences, I decided to stay home when we had children.  So I now stay at home with our girls and there are days where I wish the BSC did exist so that I could go to the grocery store without having to worry about buckling two kids in carseats, unbuckling two kids in carseats, loading two kids into a cart, keeping one kid out of the purse and the other from destroying the aisle displays...you get the idea.

#44 Dawn and the Big Sleepover (or, Dawn and the Lawsuit Just Waiting to Happen)

 Now I get to snark a book I like.  I enjoyed this one as a kid.  I thought it would be cool to have a pen pal, just for the simple reason I like getting mail.  I also thought all the fundraising ideas sounded fun.  Ha!  Fun, fund…don’t give me that look!  Anyway, it is ghostied by Peter Lerangis and is the 3^rd time through 8^th grade for these young ladies.

Before we jump into the fun that is this book, we need to stop for a shout out about the cover.  It is blaze orange (my ’91 copy anyway) and we see Dawn looking like she’s described in the books, for once.  She also appears to be grabbing some girl chest, even though I think she’s supposed to be breaking up a fight…

So we start with Dawn sitting at the Pike’s with Mallory, of course, and the kids are jumping all over, reading their letters from their pen pals.  Who are these pen pals?  Zunis!  Yeah, that’s just how it’s written in the book.  It’s a group of Native Americans in New Mexico and, according to Wikipedia, the tribe actually exists.  Excellent work, Peter Lerengis!  You used a group of people that actually exist!  By the end of the chapter, the kids have decided to send some stuff from Stoneybrook in their next letters….didn’t realize Stoneybrook was big enough to have bumper stickers and decals.

Sensitive Mary Anne looks up at Dawn when she gets home and assumes the worst, but no, Dawn’s just bummed about not having a pen pal.  This must be pretty devastating to Dawn, considering Mary Anne just looks at her and sees that something’s wrong.  Blar de blar, chapter two stuff and suddenly Dawn’s famished and happy again. 

Uh-oh, Mal’s late for Monday’s meeting and Kristy pulls the rack out of the closet.  Discipline must be swift and fierce!  But then Mal comes in and drops a bomb – the Zunis’ school burned down after a gas station explosion.  No kidding, one of my biggest fears after reading this book was being at a gas station when it blew up.  Thank you, Ann and Peter.

Dawn wants to do something to help, calls Mal that night, who is helping comfort crying kids, and pretty much doesn’t do anything helpful to cheer anyone up.  But Dawn starts thinking and decides to have a food and clothing drive.  Mary Anne’s all, “That’s a lot of work – what teacher is going to want to do that?”  Dawn thinks long and hard and decides, “Why not Ms Besser?  She had Jeff in her class two cycles ago and he was an absolute terror before moving back to Cali.  She’ll be really happy to hear from his crazy sister (whom she met in book 14? 15? But they pretend in this book that they haven’t met….oh, continuity errors!).  Amazingly enough the woman does NOT slam the phone down on the crazy girl calling on the weekend and agrees to take up the project.

Dawn tells Kristy (big chance she took, telling her great idea to the queen of great ideas.  It’s like Snow White telling her stepmom how pretty she herself is.) and Kristy calls the club together half an hour earlier for Operation Help.  Of course, the club members are enthusiastic about spending every waking minute helping with the fundraising and they decide there needs to be some kind of reward.  A GIANT SLEEPOVER!  What could be more fun than 100 kids crammed in a smelly gymnasium…to me as a parent, the idea has pedo-bear written all over it.

All 7 girls are excused from morning classes to head over to SES for an assembly (genius Charlotte’s idea!) to announce the plan.  Best quote in the book: “and as an experienced baby-sitter, I knew those kids were not all angels." It took you 13 years to figure that out, did it Dawn?  You didn’t realize it as YOU were sitting in the assembly as a kid?  Anyway, they are met with resounding excitement from the students.  The prizes are especially exciting to them, which may lead to some problems later…

The kids get creative with their fundraising.  The Pikes hold a carnival in the backyard (really Peter….er….Dawn?  You don’t know what a free throw is?  You have a father and a brother, yes?), there is a yard sale that goes horribly awry (kids donate items without asking the ‘rents…oops.  Most of them are pretty generous and just buy their stuff back since it’s for a good cause.), and Haley Braddock dresses up as Madame Leveaux and tells fortunes (Yeah, wow…don’t know what to say about that one).  May I just take a moment to say that I really hate how badly the writers, ghosties especially, murder Claudia’s spelling.  I get she hates school, but really?  She can’t use the correct spelling of the word sale?

After the yard sale disaster, Dawn starts going through the donations and finds really nice stuff, such as a brand new suit and caviar. Yeah, caviar.  More parents become upset that the kids are giving their stuff away without asking, so the girls come up with a permission slip that must be turned in with donations.  I get that a kid or two will get carried away trying to win prizes, so much so that they clear out the house.  It just seems like parents would be involved with this a bit more so that the issue wouldn’t be so widespread.  More like, “Hey, let’s go through everyone’s stuff, maybe buy some groceries for you to drop off” rather than “Good luck, hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Everything finishes on the up and up and it’s time for the big night.  There are the to be expected issues, like the pizza place trying to cancel their large gratis order of pizzas, the CD player not working, homesick kids.  But the night goes pretty well as a whole, the kids love the prizes and apparently they have collected an astronomical amount of money to send to the Zunis, so astronomically high it couldn’t be put into print.

The girls get the kids ready for bed and start tucking them in.  As Dawn’s tucking in a 2^nd grader, he asks, “Is Johnny going to have dinners, too, now?”  Well, rip my heart out with a flipping spoon.  I sat and cried over that one for awhile. 

And before the babysitters hit the hay, Ms. Besser delivers this line: “Do me a favor.  Would you mind staying exactly the same age for a few years until I have a child old enough to be baby-sat for?”  Ahhh, the dramatic irony.  If only Ms. Besser knew this was already Dawn’s third time through 8^th grade.

They wrap up the party the next morning and ship off all of the goods.  They used the “phenomenal” amount of money raised to ship it and what wasn’t used for shipping was sent in a check.  There are many heartfelt letters of thanks ending the book.

It was a nice story, decently done, and with the exception of a few parents with their heads in the clouds, they seemed pretty supportive of the whole thing.