#19 Claudia and the Bad Joke (or Claudia and the Lawsuit Waiting to Happen)

I must be lucky.  Not only did I draw another Claudia book, but I got one that was one of my favorites as a kid…then I read it again and kind of went, mrrr?  This is a good one for some parenting failss.

The cover is pretty normal, but it gives away what the bad joke results in.  I guess the mystery is in how we get there.  The walls look pretty sick too…not sure I’d want to stay in that hospital.

The books starts with Kristy wishing to get hit in the face with a pie.  The girls plus Logan are at a slapstick film festival (apparently Logan invited MA as a date and she invited everyone else…I don’t think that’s what he had in mind, MA) and Kristy’s all about wearing food.  I’m amazed Claudia hasn’t jumped on this bandwagon. She gets right into the introductions and I realize that this old copy has hash marks that show the beginning and end of what has now become the chapter long section of information on the girls.  For your skipping ease, of course.

The next day is a club meeting and, after an indepth look at how the club runs, we have the actual meeting.  There’s a call from a new client, Mrs. Sobak, looking for a sitter for little Betsy, her daughter.  Claudia takes the job, but is confused because she knows the kids who usually sit for Betsy.  Kristy admonishes her not to knock it, but that maybe they’ll get a new client out of it.  She then proceeds to squirt disappearing ink all over MA’s white sweatshirt…amazingly enough, she’s the only one laughing.

Claudia and Dawn hang out for a bit after the meeting (Dawn is lonely since she’ll be the only at her house…I kinda have to go with Tory on her scathing review of Mrs. Schafer’s decision to move back to Connecticut) and then Claudia helps Mimi finish dinner.  “The Genius” comes home and is sober, because life is tough as a genius.  They have a nice dinner before it’s time for homework time.  Now this has been a rule for Claudia for awhile, but in the last book I snarked they must have been on vacation or Claudia wouldn’t have fallen behind so much.  Anyway, she finishes the homework and then gets a crank phonecall….prank season in Stoneybrook has begun!!

It’s the day of Claudia’s sitting job with Betsy and she’s getting nervous.  She’s talked to the other kids who used to sit for her and they all quit because she is a horrible practical joker, to the point she doesn’t know when to stop.  At first Claudia is optimistic, because Betsy seems nice and her mother, while strange (her name is Cookie, which Ann puts in italics…why name your own character something you can’t believe) is also nice.  But the jokes start right away with a dribble glass and a fly in an ice cube.  Then she tricks her with some pepper gum, which really angers Claudia.  This is the kind of job you go to and when you look at the clock only 10 minutes have passed.  She agrees to go outside with Betsy to get her mind of jokes and they sit on the swingset to swing.  Claudia suggests a swinging contest in spite of some funny looks by Betsy and soon they’re going pretty high…and the bottom drops out of Claudia’s swing and she lands on the driveway.  Her leg’s at a pretty funny angle and she knows it’s broken.  She calmly instructs Betsy to call 911, then the Sobaks and then the Rodowsky home before her own parents (what?).  Dawn and Mallory arrive before the ambulance and Dawn calls Claudia’s parents, who will meet her at the hospital.  The ambulance arrives and Dawn rides along with Claudia.  Her leg is in pain now and she is given some pain killers so most of the procedures are hazy to her.  She wakes up in the hospital with her leg in traction.  The break was apparently bad enough that she’ll have to stay in the hospital for a week and home for a little longer before she can go back to school.  She starts thinking about what would have happened if she had broken her arm or hand, which potentially could end her art career.  Perhaps she should quit the club because sitting is too dangerous.

Her hospital stay is fairly eventful, with lots of visitors and flowers.  Her roommate is “a big baby” about her broken elbow and has no friends.  Nice, Ann.  (although I’d probably have said the same thing at that age).  Claudia begs for her friends to sneak her some junk food and Dawn has pity on her and sneaks some in.  MA also sneaks Tigger in, which twigs Claudia out a bit.  During one of her phone calls to Stacy, she confesses that she might quit the club…dun, dun, dun! 

A sitting chapter.  MA and Jessi sit for the Pikes and are inundated by practical jokes.

Claudia is ready to go home from the hospital and is finally released.  She is greeted by friends and family in a hustling bustling flurry and then everyone leaves for work or school.  She has breakfast with Mimi, receives a phone call from her homeroom at school and enjoys a little Wheel of Fortune.  Since she’s an art fanatic, she’s also spent time decorating her cast.  At the BSC meeting that day, her friends have a few little autographs too:  God made rivers, God made lakes, God made Claudia, well we all make mistakes.  Guess who wrote that one.  MA’s confused me at first until my mom pointed out that the car is supposed to be auto.  Then it makes sense.  Claudia springs her fears about sitting on the rest of the club and tells them she might want to quit.  She promises to think about it for awhile when suddenly the phone rings and it’s Mrs. Sobak, looking for another sitter for Betsy.  Ballsy, that woman is.  Claudia is (and rightfully so) upset that Mrs. Sobak calls for a sitter and I would have called her back and said, “sorry, we can’t help you” but these girls are fixers, so they are going to “fix” Betsy.  The best way to fix her?  By waging a joke war, of course.  Mallory volunteers for the first wave of attack, especially since her siblings are all about the jokes right now too.

Which brings us to Mal’s sitting chapter.  Betsy hides on Mal; Mal gives her sneezing powder.  Betsy gets Mal with a bloody tooth; Mal scares her with a slug.  Betsy scares Mal with a rubber snake; Mal scares her with a rubber rat.  Betsy scares Mal with her cockroach and Mal runs out of jokes just as Mrs. Sobak arrives home.  Score in the joke war: 0-0

Dawn sits for Betsy next.  Betsy slimes Dawn’s kid kit; Dawn “faints.”  Betsy gets Dawn with a pooh-pooh cushion; Dawn pretends to see a mouse.  Betsy squirts Dawn with a fountain pen; Dawn pulls out a spider.  Betsy pulls out a rubber toad and Dawn is out of tricks.  They get into a game of Monopoly and end up having a late lunch.  Betsy apologizes and makes sundaes as a peace offering…only Dawn’s is made of shaving cream.  Score in the joke war: Betsy 1, BSC 0

Claudia is currently still stuck at home and is starting to worry about missing so much school. She’s also worried about having to repeat 8^th grade (doesn’t she get sent back in later books?) but Mimi helps her calm down.  She asks if Claudia has made up her mind about whether or not she’s going to stay in the club, but Claudia still doesn’t know.  Then Stacy calls and Claudia heads upstairs to talk to her.  She asks if Claudia has made up her mind about whether or not she’s going to stay in the club, but Claudia still doesn’t know and is slightly annoyed about being pestered about it.  The rest of the club arrives for the meeting and the first official order of business is to demand if Claudia is going to be in the club still or not.  Claudia is irritated, but promises to have her decision in a week.

Kristy is the next to sit for Betsy and she claims she has won the joke war.  She and Betsy go to a viewing of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Kristy makes Betsy promise NO MORE JOKES.  Betsy instantly pulls out the joy buzzer, so it’s on.  They get into the theater and Betsy asks for popcorn.  After she leaves to get it, Kristy switches seats and Betsy can’t find her.  During the middle of the movie, Kristy slips a bloody thumb onto her finger and carefully slides it into the popcorn box.  Betsy screams loudly and some of her schoolmates (whom she joked as well) start to laugh.  Betsy is angry and says Kristy embarrassed her.  Kristy points out that’s what most of Betsy’s jokes do and that’s why people don’t like her jokes or Betsy herself for that matter.  Betsy asks how Claudia is and asks if she can go and apologize to her, even though she had sent her a note of apology.  Claudia is at home and is frustrated over some math she has to study when Kristy and Betsy arrive.  She apologizes to Claudia in person and then Kristy takes her home.  Later Kristy comes back and asks Claudia about the club and Claudia says that she’s going to stay; Betsy’s apology made her change her mind.

The book ends two months later with Claudia getting her cast off.  Her leg is pretty atrophied and she has to have crutches for a little while longer.  There’s another meeting that afternoon and Jessi says that Betsy has another joke catalogue, but didn’t play any jokes on her.  Then there’s a call for a sitter and it’s in a few weeks, when Claudia can sit again.  Hooray!  And the book closes with Kristy still wishing she could get hit in the face with a pie.

Ok, parental fails:  Sobaks, your kid is a practical joker, to the point you have a hard time keeping a regular sitter.  Now she’s played a joke that resulted in someone breaking their leg.  It’s past time to take care of this issue.  At least Betsy wrote an apology note.

Kishis, this is an actual legitimate lawsuit.  I have a really hard time believe you did nothing besides meet your daughter at the hospital after she broke her leg.  At the very least, bang down the Sobak’s door and demand an apology.

Sitter fails:  Do you really think you can “fix” a child who has no parental discipline in this issue?  #1. It’s not your place #2. it’s going to take more than a few jokes to change and attitude.  But then, this is Stoneybrook, not the real world.

#15 Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn

Sorry it has taken me so long to get this posted.  I hate this book.

Ah, this book annoyed me in so many ways as a kid.  Maybe it was because Ann kept pushing that pageants are sexist and I didn’t get what sexist meant, or maybe it was because the girls, yet again, start fighting.  As a grown up, this book pisses me off in so many ways.  I get that Sharon is supposed to be disorganized and scatterbrained, but don’t you think she would have at least thought about what a drastic change she was making for her kids.  They had just gone through a divorce; did she really think it was a good idea to move them across the country, to a different climate, a different culture and  that far away from their dad?  I get she probably needed to get away, but maybe move a few hours away, then slowly transition back east.  Anyway, I digress.

Chapter one, we’re at a meeting.  “And before we go any farther, maybe I should explain who the club members are and what the Babysitter’s Club is.”  Please do, Dawn, since the name in and of itself is not self explanatory.  Wow, the anger is already seeping out.  Mallory and Jessi are “inducted” into the club and Dawn gets her panties in a twist because she wasn’t inducted.

She gets home and after dinner she finds out that Jeff was in trouble at school again.  This time, though, there is no fighting and Jeff begs to go back to California to live with his dad.  Sharon agrees and starts calling her ex and her lawyer about custody arrangements.  Mommy Moment:  Sharon, forget about yourself and move your family back to California.  That’s what I’d do.  Dawn is terribly upset by this and is hurt and angry with her brother (which he has every right to be) and spends the rest of the evening crying.

The next day, Dawn is at the meeting a little early and she and Claudia spy an ad for the Little Missy Stoneybrook contest.  Instantly Claudia proclaims it sexist, as do all of the other girls when they come in.  Thank you, Ann, for shoving your views down our throats.  Anyway, Dawn gets asked to help Margo and Claire Pike get ready for the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant.  Mommy Moment:  I think the reason Mrs. Pike asked Dawn specifically is because she knows Sharon and knows what’s happening with Jeff and thinks this might take her mind off things.  Ha!  My K key is sticking and it spelled Pie.  Margo and Claire shall henceforth be known as Pie.  None of the other sitters are overly happy that she gets asked to take the job and this begins a little competition between the girls over who is the best sitter. 

Kristy has a sitting job for her siblings and manages to talk Karen into entering the contest.  Watson and Elizabeth aren’t overly excited about it and Kristy promises she’ll help her prepare for the pageant. 

Back at the Schafer household, Sharon is picking at dinner, Dawn and Jeff aren’t saying much and finally it all comes to a head.  Jeff is legally able to live with his father for six months to see if the behavior problems improve.  Jeff is ecstatic; Dawn is shocked (that’s what she says) and numb.  She admits she misses California and her friends and her father (pay attention Sharon!!), but that she’s not going to leave her mother.  She calls MA and then spends her evening thinking about Pie.

She meets with Pie the next day and discovers that Margo’s talent is reciting The House that Jack Built and peeling a banana with her feet.  Claire’s talent is singing Popeye the Sailor Man.  Then they try curtseying, which is a disaster.  Dawn realizes they aren’t pageant material.  Mommy Moment:  Aside from plot contrivance. I’m thinking Mrs. Pike knew this too and didn’t want to spend much time on it, but the girls reeeeally wanted to do it, so she hired a sitter to help them.  It’s what I would do if I had a daughter whining about it.  Or I’d just say no.

Mary Anne sits for the St. Perkins girls and convinces Mariah to ask her mom to let her enter the competition.  Again, Mrs. Perkins says it’s okay as long as MA helps her get ready.  Then Claudia sits for Charlotte and talks her into entering the pageant.  You know, Charlotte, the one with terrible stage fright.  And yet again, the mom says okay, as long as Claudia helps her get ready.  Because if your girls wins, you are the best babysitter.  Logic…..it goes bye-bye!

Mallory and Jessi sit for the Pike hoard.  They are all annoyed by Pie practicing for the pageant.

The next meeting is super awkward as none of the girls want to talk about what their pageant contestants are doing.  Then Sharon calls with a non sitting question and Dawn drops the bombshell that Jeff’s going back to California.  Apparently Sharon has become really clingy with Dawn, as though to keep her from going away (remember that in future books) What I find interesting is that none of the girls really says anything supportive or comforting.

Friday is the last day before the pageant and the last day with Jeff in Connecticut.  So of course, Dawn is spending the afternoon getting the girls ready for the next day.  They do a few practice runs, and stop and hide when Charlotte and Claudia come in.  Arg, these girls!

After a quick dinner of leftovers, the Schafers are on the road to the airport.  Jeff pretty much waltzes onto the plane and Dawn breaks down, wondering what it was going to be like growing up without him and him growing up without her.  Mommy Moment:  Seriously, Sharon.  You have to do what’s best for your kids.  Jeff needs to be in California and Dawn needs to be with Jeff.  Arg.

The next day is pageant day.  Dawn hustles over to help Pie get ready and she and Mrs. Pike head to the pageant.  They get the girls checked in and start preparing for the pageant.  Boo-Boo Alert:  Sabrina Bouvier is only a little girl.  In later books, she’s in middle school.  All of the girls’ charges doe well, except for Charlotte, who runs off the stage in tears and refuses to come back.  Myriah Perkins comes in second (Sabrina Bouvier wins, of course).  All the sitters admit that they really wanted to win to prove they were good babysitters.  Common Sense Moment: How would your sitting charge winning a pageant show that you’re a good sitter?  I’d think keeping the kids alive and safe would be a better measure.

One evening, Dawn is sitting at home reading a magazine when the phone rings.  It’s Jeff!  They have a great conversation and Jeff says he misses her.  She is happy to know Jeff is happy, even though it’s really hard to have him so far away.

Then Claire calls…there’s a beautiful child contest at Bellair’s….

#2 Claudia and the Phantom Phone Caller

The plague has hit and we’ve all been dealing with sickness at our homes, except for Tess, who has no school aged children and is vacationing in Acapulco with her husband while her son gets some quality grandma time. (I’ll pay for that when she gets back).  So, without further delay, let’s get to the snarking, aye?

This is the second book in the series and it was one of my favorites, simply because, ooOOoo, secret admirers!  Now I worry about letting my girls leave the house alone in case some creepy preteen boys decide to stalk them.

We meet Claudia on a gloomy fall evening as she’s mooning over Trevor Sandbourne and bemoaning about having to do homework.  She talks about how she needs help with her work because she tends to daydream.  Mimi is there to help her and she finishes fairly quickly.  Instead of reading or daydreaming, she asks Mimi to come in and finish sitting for a portrait she’s doing.  They talk about why she and Janine don’t get along and Mimi gives her some sage advice about having to try to get along with her sister.  Yay Mimi!

The girls get together the following Saturday and Claudia moons over Trevor  and the upcoming dance, the Halloween Hop.  Kristy describes the wonderful Alan Gray.  MA reads in the paper that there is a phantom phone caller on the loose.  He calls to see if they’re home and then breaks in to rob them, even if they’re home.  This panics the girls slightly and they develop a code they can use on a phone call in case they’re sitting and something similar happens.  They decide to keep this a secret from their parents.

Now these are the days before the BSC clique, so Claudia is sitting with her other friends and Dorianne Wallingford dramatically sighs that her grandparents were robbed by the phantom phone caller.  Claudia panics until she mentions her grandparents live in a couple of towns over.  Another girl mentions in the bathroom Claudia’s crush on Trevor and Claudia flips out at Kristy for blabbing.  Kristy defends herself and Claud believes her.  So who is spreading these little rumors….

A sitting chapter.  Claudia sits for Jamie Newton and Kristy scares the snot out of Claudia.

The next evening as Claudia’s working on another painting when she hears that the state troopers are tailing the Phantom.  She calls Stacey and rejoices with her…until the next evening, when she’s sitting for the Marshalls.  The phone rings and no one is there.  Claudia gets the girls to bed and calls Stacey.  They’re talking when Claudia hears some noises as someone is trying to get through the door.  She tries to use the code, but panics, then she realizes it is just the Marshalls, who have forgotten their keys.

Another sitting chapter.  Kristy sits for Karen and Andrew and Karen starts in on her witch nonsense again.  After the kids go to bed, the phone rings a couple of times, again with no one on the other end of the line.  Hmmm…..

And yet another sitting chapter.  Stacey sits for Charlotte J and the lights go out.  No weird phone calls though.

Wow, three sitting chapters in a row.  MA is sitting for DM while the rest of the family is out.  She rigs up some crazy alarms, just in case.  No crazy phone calls here either…

At the next meeting, there is more talk about Alan Gray and Trevor Sandbourne and how awful Alan is and how wonderful Trevor is.

That night as Mimi is helping Claudia, The Goldmans come from next door a little shaken up.  It appears that they have been robbed by the phantom phonecaller.  MA’s father catches wind of this and forbids her to babysit.

At school the next day, Claudia is a little distracted, but she tries to talk to Trevor and ends up dumping red jello in his lap.  Smooth.

That night, she and Kristy are sitting for the Newtons, who have cousins visiting them.  (The “evil” Feldman children).  The  kids start off by being wild, but Kristy and Claudia calm them down.  While the kids are playing, the phone rings three times and three times there is no one on the other end of the line.  As they’re feeding the kids, the girls see a shadow go by the house.  Claudia calls the police.  Who is skulking around the house?  Alan Gray.  He wanted to ask Kristy to the Halloween Hop. 

That night Claudia bonds with Janine over some salt water taffy as she explains what happened at the Newtons.

The next day, Claudia puzzles over who could have a crush on her as she sits for the Marshall girls.  The phone rings and again there is no one on the line.  The next time it rings, Claudia demands they speak and lo and behold, it’s Trevor Sandbourne.  Hoorah, they’re going to the dance together.

The girls go to the dance (except MA), the phantom phone caller is caught and Claudia’s grades start to go up.  Yay. 

Mommy Moments:

• I kind of agree with the Kishis having someone work with Claudia on her homework.  As is repeated a lot in the early books, she is smart, she just needs to focus.
• I kind of have to agree with Richard on this one; I would likely ask the girls stay home while a criminal who doesn’t mind breaking in while people are in the house is on the loose.
• Really guys?  You have to skulk around like this just to ask a girl out?  I probably wouldn’t let my daughter go out with you after you stalked her for two weeks.
•  

Common Sense Moments:

• 911 was implemented in 1968.  I think it would be better to call 911 than call a friend and ask her if she’s seen your red ribbon.

Claudia Outfits:

• Some hair:  “That day I had fixed it in five slim braids, and looped each one up on my head, holding them in place with beaded barrettes that had sparkly streamers attached to them.”

#13 Good-bye Stacey, Goodbye

Enter Stacey, fantasizing about being in a candy land and eating it all, because she has diabetes and can never ever eat sweets. 

 Sigh.  I’m sure we’ve all looked it up, but people with type 1 diabetes can have sweets occasionally.  Either medical science didn’t know that back then or Ann has no clue.  Stacy says she would kill for a tootsie pop.  Congratulations, Ann.  You’ve just created a serial killer.  Perhaps you can write a series on the Tootsie Pop killer.

Hmmm…turns out Stacey was in math class while fantasizing and is saved by the bell.  She spends her afternoon sitting for Charlotte Johanssen before heading off to a club meeting.  Her mom calls at the end of the meeting to hurry her home and she leaves with a sick feeling in her stomach.

No need to panic, Stacey.  You’re just moving back to NYC in five or six weeks.  She drops her knife twice during this conversation. 

She’s not totally excited about this until her parents start reminder her of all the good old days and things they can do until she’s totally psyched.  Then she calls Laine, her formerly former best friend, who tosses cold water on her by reminding her of all the people who don’t like her at her old school and think she’s weird.  Then she calls Claudia, heads over to her house and they cry together and try to think of ways Stacey could stay in the ‘Brook.  There really is no way, because the McGills aren’t going to let their daughter stay behind and they aren’t staying, so it’s time for an emergency meeting of the BSC.

Stacey tells everyone the next day at lunch and then scuttles off to talk to her math teacher before the tears really flow.  Of course, the remaining girls decide to throw a going away party for her, although they only have $15.  Then they realize they have a lot of business and are going to be short a sitter.  (if they have all this business, why are they so broke?)

Sitting chapter: MA sits for Jeff Schafer and finds out he really doesn’t want to be in Connecticut and that he misses his dad pretty badly.  This has been building for a couple of books now.

The McGills have started packing and realize they have too much junk to fit into their apartment.  Stacey volunteers to hold a yard sale with the help of her friends.  Tada!   

A way for them to make money to pay for the party! (aside from the copious amounts of sitting they’re supposedly doing).

Another sitting chapter.  Claudia is sitting at the Pikes with Mallory and the kids are spying on their new neighbors.  Mal’s not doing it because she’s “too old.”  I call shenanigans because in SS#1 she was Harriet the Spy all over that cruise ship.

The BSC organizes for the yard sale, Claudia and Stacey are sad together and the girls decide to sell brownies and potholders along with the McGills’ stuff.

Sitting Chapter #3: Kristy sits for her sibs and some of their friends.  Karen starts talking about how Mrs. Porter is a witch.  Mrs. Porter invites the hoard over to make lemonade and Kristy realizes she’s just a lonely old woman. (well, duh).  I don’t get why that family lets Karen get away with besmirching and old lady’s name.

Stacey hasn’t told Charlotte J that she’s moving yet and today’s the day.  Charlotte reacts the way you’d expect and eight-year-old to act, telling Stacey she hates her, then wanting a hug.  Stacey takes her over to the McGill house and shows her all the things they are getting ready for the yard sale.  She sets aside a copy of A Cricket in Times Square for Charlotte, including a personal inscription.

Yet another sitting chapter: Dawn sits for the Barretts and they decide to have a yard sale.  They sell one thing, but they give Dawn an idea for Stacey’s going away party.

It’s yard sale day!  The sale is from 10-4:30.  Odd hours for a sale; most around here start at 8 or earlier.  Must be the East coast.  They get everything set up and the day goes by busily.  They apparently make a crap ton of money, but, like every other BSC book where money is involved, we don’t get the actual figure.

Charlotte J stops by and give Stacey a book she made for her.

Stacey gets an invitation a few days later for a farewell party in her honor.  She is confused, as it instructs her to wear old clothes.  She arrives at Kristy’s suitably dressed and is let to the backyard to see….KIDS!!!!  All the kids they sit for, minus the babies, of course.  They start with an egg relay race, then musical rug, pin the baby on the sitter, hunting peanuts (not in the day and age with all the nut allergies out there), Simon Says and races.  There are prizes for the winners; it turns out the girls spent the yard sale money on them[.

At the end of the party, the kids draw Stacey a huge picture of Stoneybrook for her to take to NYC.  Then they have cake (including a sugar free one for Stacey) and give Stacey a card before they leave.

It’s Stacey’s last BSC meeting and there are things to do.  Kristy officially “thanks” Stacey for her service and transfers the treasurer position to Dawn.  They think about asking Mallory to join.  Dawn points out Mallory could take a lot of afternoon jobs, freeing them up for the evenings.  Now, I snarked Hello Mallory a few months ago and that point wasn’t brought up until the end of the book.  Even Ann can’t remember what she writes from book to book.  

Stacey gets to call her and ask if she’d be interested and Mallory shrieks her ecstatic yes.

The morning of the move starts with Stacey bemoaning the fact that she didn’t sleep well.  No one usually does when something big is happening.  She and her parents clean out the refrigerator, having odd things for breakfast.  Stacey returns to her room to double check her stuff and weep over the good bye cards her former sitting charges.  As she sobs away, she hears her friends outside calling to her, holding up a big sign that reads, “See you soon Stacey!”  She gets to keep the sign and she gives them cards with her name and address that her parents had printed for her.  I’m glad that’s just a drawing, because the card is a little….umm….I dunno, not exciting looking.  Maybe it’s just me.  They watch the movers pack up the McGills’ stuff and then the girls say good bye.  Claudia slips Stacey a letter to read in the car, which outlines all the fun things they’ve done and how Stacey’s her best friend ever. ~Sniff~  Stacey closes up the letter and starts thinking about New York and all the fun things she’ll do there.  She’s ready; bring it on .

Just for fun, a Claudia outfit:  “a purple and white striped body suit under a gray jumper thing(real technical here).  The body suit went all the way to her ankles, but she was wearing purple pushdown socks anyways.  Around her middle was a wide purple belt with a buckle in the shape of a telephone.  On her feet were black ballet slippers.”  I would love to know where you could find a belt with a telephone shaped buckle…but then, it was the ‘80’s.

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#12 Claudia and the New Girl (or The Traitor and the Threat to the BSC and its Existence)

At last the fates have smiled upon the faithful readers and I drew a Claudia book, probably one of my least favorite in the series.  My 11-year-old has been reading my books before I snark them and after she read this one she said to me, “Mom, I’m glad I don’t have friends like this.  These girls are mean!”  I guess I don’t have to worry about her joining any cultish clubs when she’s 13. 

The cover is unremarkable and there’s no indication who did the artwork.  What is interesting is the dedication.  It’s “for the loyal readers of The Babysitter’s Club series.”  Well, if you’re not a loyal reader, go jump in a creek; this book’s not for you.

The book starts with Claudia watching a fly during English class instead of paying attention.  She admits she doesn’t care about or try hard in school, even though she acknowledges that the teacher is trying to make things interesting.  She gets cold called (teacher speak for calling on a kid out of the blue to draw them back into class discussion) and her lack of enthusiasm or effort results in a surprise spelling test.  During the test, a new student is ushered into the room and introduced as Ashley Wyeth.  Claudia is instantly shocked to see that Ashley is dressed like a hippie and has three pierced earrings in each ear! C’mon Ann, go for the real shock effect and give the girl a nose or eyebrow ring.  Better yet, say she has a nipple piercing and leave us all wondering how Claudia can see that at first glance.  Claudia can’t get over her looks or her name – she may be related to a famous painter with the same last name. Squee!!!  At the end of class, Ashley asks Claudia how to get to her next classroom and as Claudia shows her, she asks Ashley about her name.  Well now, what do you know?  They’re not related, but Ashley’s an artist too.

They have no more classes together that day, but Claudia does a brief intro of the club and its members before it’s time for the meeting.  She chats with Mimi for a few minutes while she waits for the club members (back when they still rang the doorbell before barging in) and mentions that she thinks she and Ashley might become friends.  FORESHADOWING!  Not subtle either.  The girls all arrive and they have a good meeting, with Claudia scheduling a job with the Rodowsky boys.  More foreshadowing when she says she doesn’t know what she’d do without her friends or the club.  Have a life?  Do schoolwork?  More time for art?

Claudia goes to her art class the following day and finds Ashley is there as well.  She is blown away by Ashley’s portfolio of work and Ashley is quite complementary of Claudia’s work as well.  The teacher announces a new art gallery is opening in Stoneybrook and that there is a sculpture competition. They are encouraged to enter as there is a grand prize of $250 and their pieces will be on display the week the gallery opens.  Claudia wants to enter, but isn’t sure she has time.  Ashley insists she does.

Sitting chapter!  Claudia’s at the Rodowsky house.  Jackie drops Rice Krispies on the floor and locks himself in the bathroom with his hand stuck in the tub drain.  An eventful sitting job.  They’re outside playing when who should stop by but Ashley.  Turns out she lives next door and she manages to needle Claudia into committing to the art show.

The next chapter starts with an explanation that in the previous year, the members of the BSC had their own separate groups of friends they ate lunch with, but once Dawn arrived they kind of grew together and this school year they started sitting together.  Well, Ashely wants to sit with Claud and discuss art. Alone. Claudia politely lets her friends know she’s sitting elsewhere for the day, although she’s worried about what everyone would say about her “defecting.”  Seriously?!  She can’t have one lunch period with someone else without your self worth being questioned?  Anyway, they decide to go to an art gallery that afternoon and Claudia ends up being 15 minutes late for a BSC meeting.  Everyone’s there and they grill Claudia about why she didn’t call and why she was having fun with someone other than them.  Wow.

Another sitting chapter.  Dawn sits for the St. Perkins family and ends up having to go to school to get Jeff because he’s in trouble.  This is where she meets Ms. Besser.  Things aren’t looking good for Jeffrey.

Claudia is sitting with Ashley at lunch again and missing the BSC across the room.  Ashley interrupts her thoughts by saying she’s going to sculpt an inanimate object and she thinks Claudia should too.  They spend the afternoon looking for inspiration in items around town.  Claudia gets drawn in, and decides to miss a meeting of the BSC.  She calls Dawn to let her know. 

The next chapter starts with a notebook entry calling Claudia a traitor.  Honestly, these girls …I can’t even put into words.  How is she a traitor?  It’s not like she’s sharing “club secrets” with the enemy or passing off clients to another business.  SHE’S WORKING ON AN ART PROJECT.  What I want to know is why Claudia didn’t just decide to take a little time off from the club like Mallory did when she had her writing contest.  The club members certainly understood about that.  It’s not like they’re overwhelmed with business at the moment; she could take a little time off.  But no, she’s a traitorous bitch, intent upon ruining the club and spending time with someone who wears BELL-BOTTOM JEANS TO SCHOOL.  Stacy starts crying, as she thinks Claudia doesn’t like her anymore, so of course MA starts crying too.  This I can understand; they’re hurt and don’t understand why Claudia’s pulling away.  But to call her a traitor….

The next day the BSC confronts Claudia at her locker while Ashley is there and Claudia’s “friends” basically argue about her responsibilities; to her art, to the club and such.  MA states that Claudia has plenty of time for her art and Claudia muses that her friends really don’t get it.  Perhaps that sentence speaks volumes in and of itself.  Why spend time with people who don’t get you?  They establish that Claudia is not quitting the club and that she is working on a sculpture.

But of course, Claudia misses another meeting and the girls get nasty.  Apparently she was supposed to be working on late English assignments, but she just can’t say no to Ashley and ends up looking for inspiration again.  She ditched Stacey to do homework, bur when she calls Dawn, she tells her where she is. So the girls write mean little notes and hide them around her room, short sheet her bed and eating all her junk food.  After that, I’d lock the door to my house and room and tell them to take a flying leap.  Abusing my personal property?  No, thank you.  The girls muse at the end how good of a friend Ashley is to Claudia, because she seems to only like Claudia because she’s an artist.  Aren’t they doing the same thing?  They’re calling her a traitor and vandalizing her room because she’s placing a personal interest in front of the club.  I wonder if Ann really thinks that what she wrote in this chapter is justified.  Hey, if I don’t like what my friend is doing, I can just leave her some nasty notes in her room (or FB wall) and eat her junk food.  That’ll learn her.

Claudia is sitting for the Rodowsky boys again.  She has just finished digging socks out of the vacuum cleaner when Ashley arrives.  They begin to argue about how Claudia doesn’t take her art seriously enough and how she should be grateful to Ashley for mentoring her.  There are several quotes here that are applicable to Ashley, yes, but also the BSC members.  Quote 1: “You think I owe you something?  Friends are friends because they like each other, not because they’re in debt.”  Perhaps the best friends she’ll ever have should also remember that before they start to graffiti her walls.  Quote 2: “You shouldn’t make up conditions for friendship.”  Self explanatory.  After her argument with Ashley, Claudia realizes what a lousy person she is for having a hobby and friend outside of the club.  Granted, she did shirk some responsibilities and was a little mean to Stacy, but I would not expect her to practice self flagellation over that.  She settles the boys in front of the TV (GASP!) while she tries to figure things out.  Jackie comes in, needing help with his shoelace and Claudia decides she wants to sculpt him.

She arrives the next afternoon while MA is sitting to talk to Jackie and make sketches of him.  While she’s doing that, MA starts asking questions about if Ashley is Claud’s best friend now and what’s she up to.  While Claud is sketching, Ashley comes over AGAIN and interrogates her about what she’s entering in the show and how her choice is awful.  Claudia basically tells her that she’ll sculpt what she wants and Ashley lets her know that she thinks Claudia’s ruining her career before she storms out of the house.  MA asks if Claudia is coming to the meeting, but she’s behind in school and needs to get things done at the library.

That night Claudia makes a list of things she needs to do, starting with calling Ashley, Stacy and Kristy.  She explains herself to Ashley; Ashley hangs up on her.  She explains herself to Stacy; Stacy forgives her.  She explains herself to Kristy; Kristy is short with her and gets off the phone soon.

The next list is for the art show.  She talks to her parents and her art teacher; with homework, she’s just not going to have enough time to finish her sculpture of Jackie, so she’s not entering the art show.

The last list is schoolwork and she tackles that the best she can, while finding a note in her pencil jar likening her to Benedict Arnold and the Wicked Witch of the West.  Nice.

Monday Claudia’s at the meeting and makes a big apology to everyone for being so terrible.  Now, as I stated before, Claudia did some things wrong, but she is not the only one who needs to apologize.  Her friends were terrible to her and nowhere in this chapter do they say they were wrong or that they’re sorry.  Sigh.  At the end of the chapter Claudia says, “If we didn’t like baby-sitting, we would still be friends.”  I say no, probably not.  Aside from Stacy, you have little in common with the other girls besides baby-sitting and in this one dimensional world, it’s not enough.

Claudia gets a surprise phone call from her art teacher informing her that she’s entered Claudia’s partially finished sculpture.  The BSC and the Kishis go to the show.  Ashley won grand prize, of course, for her sculpture of a fire hydrant.  Claudia is surprised to see she got an honorable mention for her work and her teacher feels that had she finished, she would have won.  Yay Claud!

The next day at school, Claudia sees Ashley alone at lunch and invites her to sit with the BSC.  They all tolerate each other (although Ashley’s clothes are weird again) and Claud muses that she and Ashley did become friends.  Sometimes these things just happen.  And now I will go hug my daughter and thank her for her common sense.

#4 Mary Anne Saves the Day

Well, it’s the luck of the draw that I land another MA book.  Mary Anne saves the day.  Hoorah.  I think this is one MA book that I liked because she wasn’t too overly smarmy.

Cover: MA sitting by an ill Jenny P, looking at the thermometer concernedly.  I’d be concerned too in a house with that striped of a couch and nothing on the walls.  It’s actually a scene in the book, so Hodges got it right.  Oh, wait, it isn’t Hodges, it’s Joel Iskowitz.  Excellent.

The book gets right into it.  They are all at their meeting and are offering around jobs when the Newtons call and BAM!  Kristy accepts the jobs without offering it to anyone else.  Suddenly all the girls are fighting with each other, accusing each other of job hogging, being conceited, bossy and (of course) a shy crybaby.  Well, that does it.  MA tells everyone off and walks out.  Yes, the shy crybaby.  I’ve always hated how MA is portrayed as being shy and timid, but she’s assertive when she wants to be (or when the plot line calls for it).  Most shy people don’t tell of their friends and storm out, do they?  I’m not shy, so if you’re shy, help me out!

MA slams home and starts dinner.  She manages to calm down and compose herself before her dad gets home and they start to eat dinner.  Boo-Boo Alert  MA’s mom is referred to as “Abigail” in this book; it is changed to “Alma” in other books.  I think I like Abigail better.  The previously mentioned error is nowhere near as painful as the dinner scene.  Eeesh.  Mommy Moment:  Richard has no idea how to talk to his daughter.  He has no idea who she is.  If I were to die, I would hope my husband would make more of an effort with the kids, although they’re boys, so he might get them better.

MA ponders her room (the inside of a cotton candy machine) and how she loves her dad but she wishes things were different.  Well, duh.  Who wouldn’t wish their mother was alive?  Hmmm…don’t answer that.

The next day at school MA tries to be friendly to Kristy, which backfires.  All of them are still mad at each other.  MA writes a nice note to Claudia, which she plans to deliver later.  She sits alone at lunch time, until a blonde girl named Dawn joins her.  They get to talking and MA can tell from the corner of her eye that Kristy is getting angrier.

The next day MA tries stopping for Kristy and gets a door slammed in her face.  Best friends you’ll ever have.  MA gets back at her by waiting for Dawn and smiling at her.  Lovely. THis is likely why Dawn has trouble getting along with Kristy in book 5.  MA heads over to Dawn’s house and they spend the afternoon watching The Parent Trap (The original is the best) and getting to know each other.  Boo-Boo Alert – MA’s mother apparently grew up in Maryland, not Iowa as is portrayed in later books.   I’m thinking Maryland might be more plausible for her and Richard to meet than Iowa, but Bonnie’s from WI and her husband’s from WA, so what do I know?

 MA leaves and arrives at Claudia’s in time for the meeting.  It was another exercise in painful, with Kristy not bothering to show up and the girls drawing straws for jobs.  MA leaves her note for Claudia and they talk later that evening about what they should do.  They each decide to talk to Stacy and Kristy.  MA has to talk to Kristy and is super nervous, but manages to say what needs to be said, so they work out how the club will work while they’re all mad at each other.  (I accidentally typed Krusty instead of Kristy, since the u and i are next to each other…I kind of like it.  Maybe if I snark a Kristy book I’ll do it as Krusty).

MA has a job sitting for Jenny Prezzioso and in this case she actually does act like a brat. Mommy Moment: I don’t have any daughters, but what would posses any mother to dress their daughter in lace dresses all day every day?  They must like doing laundry...or have an excellent dry cleaner  When MA gets home, she decides to bring up a later sitting time with her dad….who just lost a case.  Needless to say, it doesn’t go well.  Common Sense Moment: MA, you need to learn to read the signs and figure out a better time to talk to him about it.  MA decides to talk to Mimi about it and during their conversation, Mimi calls MA “My Mary Anne” just in time for Claudia to hear it…and that is the end of their truce.

MA and Kristy sit for the Pikes together.  It’s tough, since they’re not talking to each other.  The Pikes are late and MA doesn’t get home until after 9pm.  She again asks if he will allow her to sit later, but again he says no.

MA spends the next day with Dawn and they discover that their parents used to date.  They try to guess why they broke up but can’t come to any conclusions.

MA sits for Jenny P and she is quiet and listless.  She falls asleep as MA is reading and MA takes her temperature at 104.  Mommy Moment: I can’t believe Mrs. P didn’t realize her daughter wasn’t feeling well.  104!?  That right there is one heck of an epic fail.  MA calls Dawn, who suggests calling 911 since MA can’t find an adult to drive them to the hospital.  Jenny has a case of strep and the meds start working before her parents arrive. 

MA and Dawn go back to her house and Dawn catches MA sticking her tongue out at Kristy through the window. That, of course, sparks a fight that ends in Dawn leaving in a huff.

MA is so upset by all of this that she doesn’t tell her father about the experience with Jenny until Mrs. P calls to tell him about it.  They have a heart to heart moment and Richard realizes his daughter is growing up before his eyes.  He allows her later sitting privileges on the weekend and he’s even going to let her redecorate her room a little. Common Sense Moment: Did MA ever ask her dad before if she could redecorate or did she just assume?  Remember kids, when you assume, you make an ass of u and me.

The next week starts and MA apologizes to Dawn and they make up.  She also leaves a note for Kristy in her locker apologizing, but Kristy never says anything to her about it.  Earlier, the girls had agreed to help at Jamie Newton’s 4^th birthday party, but none of them are talking to each other.  As the party starts, they start snotting at each other, and then all four of them start pushing and shoving at the bottom of the stairs about who gets to check on baby Lucy.  At this point, Mrs. Newton’s all like, “what the heck, mature my foot” but is apparently so flustered by the 4 year old party guests that she just picks a sitter to check Lucy and doesn’t drop kick the girls out of her house, which I would have done.  As Mrs. Newton goes to get the cake, MA starts pouring punch…all over Kristy.  Claudia picks up a wet napkin and flings it into Stacy’s face, who in return grabs a wet napkin and smushes it into Claudia’s face.  Enter Mrs. Newton with the birthday cake (I will assume she downloaded a pattern for the cake from pintrest, then proceeded to pull her hair out while she tried to make it look like the supermom’s) to see her child with tears running down his cheeks and her “sitters” having a mini food fight.  Mommy Moment:  At this point, I’d say, “Get out, don’t expect to get paid, don’t expect me to call for a sitter ever again.”   MA gracefully gets them through the sticky moment and they’re on their best behavior until the end so that Mrs. Newton doesn’t think they’re “immature” or “irresponsible.”  Newsflash: you are both of those things.  You’re 12. 

MA calls an emergency meeting of the club and declares they are going to the Kishi’s.  She takes a deep breath, remembers how totally awesome she’s become and charges forward.  She declares they either need to make up or break up the club.  Everyone declares that they love each other and apologizes for their flaws…well, they count 1,2,3 and yell “I’m sorry!”  Because they're 12.  Then they apologize for their personality traits that will soon become the epitome of their characters because the ghosties are too lazy to make them dynamic, interesting people.  Sorry, I digress.  They’re all happy and the club is in good shape.

MA dashes home from the meeting in time to catch a call from Dawn.  Apparently she found a prom picture with her mom and MA’s dad.  MA resolves to ask her dad about it at dinner.  After some small talk, she springs the name “Sharon Porter” on him and he chokes on his carrots.  He explains about how they dated, but Sharon’s parents didn’t think he was good enough for their daughter because his family didn’t have much money.  MA subtly asks if he would be good enough now, but he brushes off her comment.  MA calls Dawn back and tells her about the story.  She also asks if Dawn has done much sitting in Cali because she was pretty awesome at Jenny’s and she promises to get back to her the next day.

So MA has a BSC party at her house, including Dawn.  Her dad actually said yes, and came home to help her organize.  There’s an incident where MA spills soda on her skirt and carrot peels on the floor, which is perfect timing because the doorbell rings and it’s Dawn and her mom.  Sharon and Richard are just standing there staring at each other, and Jack Schafer can quit blaming his divorce on Sharon being disorganized and blame it on the fact that she’s been in love with another man for years.  MA hustles Dawn into the kitchen and they eavesdrop at the door, which is great because they hear the two of them make a date.  For the next evening.  Dinner.  Ooo lala.

MA gets cleaned up and calmed down as everyone else arrives and they troop to her room to talk. MA asks if Dawn can join the club.  They ask her some questions about her experience, how late she can stay out and any emergencies she handled.  They vote her in and run downstairs to get their pizza.  They have a pizza toast (a hamburger patty for Stacy, because the processed cheese on pizza will kill her…according to the ADA, diabetics can eat cheese, but they recommend watching portion size due to saturated fats) and Dawn squees over being accepted into the BSC.  Just you wait, Dawn.  Just you wait.

#16 Jessi's Secret Language

Jessi starts her book by stating she’s good at languages.  I really wish this would have been brought up in her traits in following books instead of the standard black, ballet, loves horses line.  Apparently she’s so good at them, she almost became bilingual during the week her family spent in Mexico.  Again, if she’s that good, I think this warrants more mentioning.

Jessi gets up early, goes downstairs to her barre and thinks about the recent move, and how her family being black has been tough for them here.  Then she starts thinking about the tryouts for a ballet in the area called Coppelia that she is trying out for.  I’m imagining something like the end of White Christmas when they’re all singing and the kids start dancing in front of them.  Anyway, everyone else wakes up and they start their day.

Jessi dashes in late to the BSC meeting and doesn’t get eaten alive.  Instead we get the chapter 2 summary of everyone.  And why is it that every Jessi book always has a vocabulary lesson?  Introspective is our word of the book here.  There is a call from a new family in the area named the Braddocks, who have a deaf child. They need a regular sitter and would really like for the sitter to know sign language.  Jessi gets the job and she’s really excited.

We meet Jessi’s ballet class and get a little background knowledge about how things work there.  It’s interesting to find out that not everyone in the class likes Jessi, which turns out to be important 30 books later.  Jessi lands the lead role in the ballet and some of the other dancers, Katie Beth and Hillary, are pretty nasty about it, insinuating she got the role because she’s the newest dancer in the class.  Jessi kind of lets it get under her skin, but she and her mother have a talk about the school and its qualifications and she moves on from it and focuses on her new sitting charges,

She has her first training with the Braddock family and meets Haley first.  What strikes me is that Haley is described as having a rattail. I hate rattails.  Moving on.  Mrs. B and Haley start teaching Jessi “Ameslan”, the outdated term used in this book for American Sign Language.  I shall refer to it as ASL hereafter.  (Too much Downton Abby!)  Matt arrives home in the middle of the session and he and Haley disappear while Mrs. B teaches Jessi the basic signs she would need to know to sit.  Jessi goes to get to know the kids, but Matt wants to read.  Haley gets a little upset that Jessi seems more interested in Matt than her….hmm….

The next chapter MA is sitting for Jenny P.  Most of the time Jenny’s not being all that bratty, but this chapter’s pretty bad.  She makes fun of Matt when they’re out on a walk. I have no time for children who pick on other kids, or their parents. Haley gets upset and storms off – Jessi realizes that Haley’s having a hard time adjusting to her new neighborhood and Matt’s deafness isn’t making it any easier.

Finally the big day comes: Jessi’s sitting alone for the first time.  Mrs. B is (rightfully) a little nervous, but she manages to pull herself away.  After snack, Jessi takes the Braddocks over to the Pike house.  Vanessa and Nicky close in age to Haley and Matt, so Jessi thinks it might be a good match.  The Barretts are there as well and the introductions begin…along with the staring.  So Jessi introduces ASL as a secret language and instantly the kids are intrigued, so much so that Haley stays there teaching signs after Matt and Jessi head back to the Braddocks’ house.

The next chapter is a sitting chapter.  Mallory and Dawn are sitting for Mal’s siblings and they are quite wild, until they send the kids off to play and the house gets quiet.  Turns out they are practicing sign language and making up signs of their own.

Jessi’s part in Coppelia is a lot of work but she’s been putting in extra time and everyone notices in her dancing.  Her naysayers are even being…civil to her.  She’s waiting for her dad after practice and sees Katie Beth with her sister, Adele.  Turns out Katie Beth’s sister is deaf, but her family doesn’t much know ASL.  Jessi spends a little time showing her signs and Katie Beth seems to be interested.

Another sitting chapter!  Claudia sits for DM, Karen and Andrew.  Karen starts scaring Andrew, so Claudia distracts them with ASL.  She ends up calling Jessi a few times and Karen tries to tell a ghost story using ASL.

Jessi continues to her busy schedule, sitting and dancing.  As she spends more time with Haley, she finds out that Haley feels responsible for Matt, helping him make friends and defending him.  She resents all she has to do for him sometimes, because it makes her feel like an outsider too.  Haley mentions at one point that Matt’s never been to the theater and that sparks an idea in Jessi’s mind.

At the next BSC meeting, Jessi works on teaching the other sitters more about ASL and finger spelling.  During the meeting Mrs. B calls to tell Jessi “everything is arranged.”  Oooo….a secret.  Then she surprises everyone by telling them they’re invited to her performance of Coppelia. 

The next day Mrs. B picks Jessi up from school and takes her to Matt’s school.  Jessi makes a little signed speech inviting the students in Matt’s class to the ballet as well.  The students are very excited.

A sitting chapter!  Kristy sits for Jessi’s sister and brother and discovers that there’s a secret a-brewin’…Kristy doesn’t like to be left out of secrets.

Jessi finally tells everyone what she arranged for Matt’s class…and I wonder to myself why she kept it a secret.  It’s not as though it made a big difference.  I’m still puzzling over it myself. Anyway, it’s opening night and Jessi’s a little nervous, hoping everything goes well.  Mrs. B is signing and Haley is narrating before each act so that the deaf students can enjoy and understand the ballet better.  The ballet goes beautifully, Jessi does a wonderful job and the students really enjoy the ballet.  It turns out Katie Beth’s sister is in the audience and Katie Beth has been taking sign language lessons to communicate with her.  Yay her.

After the ballet, Jessi and her friends get together and surprise!  Jessi’s cousin Keisha is there as well.  This was the other secret Becca didn’t share with Kristy.  After everyone gets settled and has hugged, kissed, and cried, they all go out for dessert.  What better way to end a book than with dessert?

Mommy Moments:

• If I were the parent of a deaf child, I would expect my sitter to know sign language.  I know that would be a high qualification, but that would be up there on my “must haves” list.
• Just a thought:  Jessi mentions how expensive her toe shoes are, but that her parents are more than willing to buy them, even though she doesn’t plan to be a professional.  How much money would you put into something you know may not have a specific future for your child?  Just curious.
• Go Mama Ramsey!  She a)notices something bothering her child and b)addresses it with her daughter.
• Boo to the family of Katie Beth and Adele.  She’s your child, for Pete’s sake.  Learn ASL so you can communicate with her, even if she is in a special school most of the time.  I can’t imagine not making every effort to communicate with my child.