#36 Jessi's Babysitter (Jessi's War)

I would have called it Patton's War, but...

Original cover, where Jessi looks more 17 than 11...

Updated cover, where they tame down the very early '90's fashion with some later '90's fashion....

We join Jessi as she’s sweating her way through ballet class.  She’s dreaming of someday dancing professionally even though it’s really hard work.  She’s already en pointe people!  Time to prepare for the Youth America Grand Prix!  …And I just spent 30 minutes looking up dancers from First Position.  You know, because it’s way more interesting than this book.  FYI - it's on Netflix.

She finishes class and waits and waits and finally her dad picks her up.  Jessi spies cake in the backseat, they arrive home and have a celebration dinner.  Mama got a new job!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Aunt Cecilia is moving in with them to help since Mama will be working full time..  The Jessi and Becca are not excited and plan to play nasty tricks on her to get her to leave.  This really is what an eight-year-old and eleven-year-old would do to get rid of someone.  Congratulations Ann, you win a prize for writing realistically…

Jessi calls Mal and we get the ten pages of who we are.  The next chapter rolls right into the club description and Jessi bemoaning the fact that she has a sitter.  Maybe I didn’t read this right, but I think Jessi’s parents also added that she’s helping with housework as well and is primarily there to take care of Squirt.

Jessi sits for Jackie Rodowsky and finds out that he wants to make a volcano and could enter it in the school’s science fair.  Jessi takes over his project for him, forcing him to agree to enter a volcano, dragging him to the library to get books and studying the material for him.  Mrs. R is pretty stoked Jackie’s entering a project and asks Jessi to be the sole babysitter from now until the science fair.

Mal and Dawn sit for the younger Pikes.  They’re getting excited about the science fair as well and the older kids even set up a miniature lending library for the neighborhood.

Finally the dreaded day arrives.  Aunt Cecelia has rented a U-Haul and Daddy is driving her stuff back to the Ramsey house.  Of course, when the first thing your aunt says to you is, “Tidy up your hair, Jessica,” it’s hard to be a good sport about things.  They lug things inside and soon Aunty CC is out of room so soon the house has little touches of her.  Jessi’s a little resentful.

Aunty CC gets started right away running the household.  She sends the girls to get ready for bed at 8:30, which they are not used to.  Jessi goes to tell her parents, but Mama just tells them they don’t have to go to bed.  Jessi decides not to worry her about it.  I think this first “incident” sets the tone for the whole debacle.  Now, as a parent, I have a certain set of rules I like followed and I have a set schedule.  My kids are used to it.  As I see it, there are three failures that happen here in this section. 1. Jessi decides against talking to her parents because she doesn’t want to worry them.  2. Mama and Daddy Ramsey don’t tell Aunty CC how the household is used to running.  As far as I can tell, there’s no rundown. 3. Aunty CC doesn’t bother asking if there’s a schedule the family follows, house rules, nothing along those lines.  Seems pretty presumptuous to barge in and start running the house without asking…

The next morning Aunty CC (now Aunt Dictator) sends the parents out to brunch and stays with the kids.  She seems a little overprotective, not letting the kids go outside because it’s cloudy, not letting Jessi bike to Mal’s house because it’s cloudy, but I can see her reasoning.  She has no idea what these kids are used to doing, because nobody told her and she didn’t ask.  So of course she’s going to overprotect; she doesn’t want to risk something happening and having to take the blame for being negligent.  But an eleven-year-old can’t see that, so Jessi and Becca decide to put their prank plan into action.

Jessi sits at the Rodowsky’s again, although Aunty CC almost doesn’t let her go (again, talking people!!) because she doesn’t know the people Jessi’s sitting for or the club members.  Jessi basically builds his volcano for him and studies information that he’s supposed to be learning.

Kristy sits for her family (why are Kristy sitting chapters only about her sitting for her sibs??) and DM decides to enter the science fair.  He works on ideas while Kristy teaches EM “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes.”

Stacey sits for Charlotte, who’s testing plants to see if music affects their growth patterns.  Not gonna lie; I stole this idea when I was in grade school for a science fair project.  I got an A.  Stacey suggests charting growth and Charlotte agrees.  Becca comes over and tells Charlotte about the jokes they’re playing on Aunty CC.

Jessi lets loose about Aunty CC at the next BSC meeting and all her friends think she should talk to her parents about it.  Jessi still isn’t convinced.  They also talk about the science fair and Jessi starts to wonder if she’s doing too much of Jackie’s project.

Jessi sits for Jackie and they test the chemicals they’re going to use to make the exploding volcano.  Jackie can’t touch them and Jessi’s not supposed to either, but then they wash them off the driveway into the sewer system??  Then they start talking about what Jackie’s supposed to say, but it doesn’t go well.  Jessi’s trying to take 6^th grade information and make a 2^nd grader learn it.  Seriously, I would not expect a 2^nd grader to know igneous, metamorphic and sedimentary rocks.

Jessi’s late getting home, fights with Aunty CC about the time and is grounded from attending the BSC meeting.  She calls her parents, but they’re both busy, so she ends up having to stay home.  She calls Kristy to tell her and has the club call her as many times as they can to annoy Aunty CC – and it works.  Jessi casually mentions it at dinner, but Mama and Daddy don’t really notice.  Then Aunty CC comes in to do Jessi’s hair so that it’s something she can be proud of.  Oh, boy.  They’re really in it now!

Finally!  The night of the science fair.  Jackie’s volcano is awesome, his speech goes well, but then the judges ask questions….and he has no idea what he’s talking about then.  It’s not like the questions were hard; they were questions my kids had when they were in second grade.  Jackie is (rightfully) ticked off at Jessi and she apologizes for doing his project for him.

The science fair shows Jessi that she (finally!) needs to talk to her parents.  She explains what’s been going on with Aunty CC and her parents have a family conference.  They (finally!) explain how things run and the responsibility they let the girls have.  Aunty CC says she’s tough because things are harder for black people and Jessi can understand that.  Then Aunty CC tells Mama and Daddy about the girls’ practical jokes and they say there will be punishment for that.

Jessi goes to her next BSC meeting and they commiserate about the science fair.  Mal gives a little foreshadowing about her dad’s job being in danger and Dawn talks about heading to Cali to visit her fam.  When she gets home, she’s greeted by Becca, who has some nasty bugs in her slippers.  Jessi discovers a mouse in her bed, shaving cream in her slippers and a short-sheeted bed.  Looks like Aunty CC got them back!

Becca and Jessi apologize as does Aunty CC and finally it looks like things are settling down.  Which would have happened earlier if there had been some communication.  But if there was communication, we wouldn’t have this insipid book.

#34 Mary Anne and Too Many Boys

“The author gratefully acknowledges Mary Lou Kennedy for her help in preparing this manuscript.”  Here we go!  Let’s see what Mary Lou can do, huh?

So we’ve gotten some comments that pictures would add to the enjoyment of the blog and we’re more than willing to help you, our readers, enjoy what we write even more!

So here’s the original cover….Does anyone else think that Toby looks like Scott Baio?

…and here’s the revamped cover.  I think they were trying to make MA look more modest, shy and retiring, but she just looks like she’s…in pain.  Much like I’ll be by the time this snark is done.

It’s the first day of summer vacation and everyone is talking about what they’re going to do.  MA and Stacey are going back to Sea City with the Pikes.  This year Mal is going to be paid for helping out, but only part of the time since they want her to have a vacation too.  Dawn is flying to California, which she hurridly calls her second home after calling it home, much to MA’s chagrin and tearyness. Claudia’s family is going to Vermont without Mimi for the first time and they’re trying a different place.  Kristy and Jessi, well, they’re stuck at home carrying out the sitting business.  We get the chapter 2 bit and suddenly MA is crying because everyone will be gone soon.  ~sniff.  SOB!

Dawn’s packing up, MA is getting teary, Richard is concerned about the mess and Sharon is trying to think of where she left the stamps she bought for the kids.  I find this line interesting: “Dawn was dressed for travelling, which meant she was wearing a beautiful Laura Ashely dress and had swept her long blonde hair back in pearl barrettes.”  It seems to me that if she was really dressed for travelling, especially on a plane, she’d be wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants with comfortable shoes and a pony tail.

They have their teary good-bye at the airport and MA heads home, where she finally gets to sleep. Her dad rousts her out of bed and they head over to the Pikes for another teary goodbye.  Inconsistency: Last time the Pikes went to Sea City, they went in August, just before the beginning of the school year.  Now they’re going just after school let out.  It seems funny they’d change it that much, especially since everyone else was also vacationing at the same time.

They head out.  MA is in the car with the triplets and Vanessa, who insists on rhyming every thing that comes out of her mouth, much like Fezzig. 

 They stop at Howard Johnson and have some ice cream.  MA thinks to herself about how she used to feel bad about eating sweets in front of Stacey, but now she doesn’t think about it anymore.  Except that she’s thinking about it.  She’s thinking about it instead of watching the kids.  Claire goes missing and they start searching for her.  Mommy Moment: If I was paying for someone to watch my kids, I’d be mad if my kid.went.missing. 

They finally arrive and MA and Stacey begin to unpack.  The reminisce about the previous summer, Scott, and Alex and Toby.  Alex and MA exchanged rings, but that doesn’t mean they’re serious or anything.  Obviously not, since she hit Logan like it was hot just weeks after she returned to Sea City.

She agonizes over a postcard to Logan, has breakfast with the Pikes (it’s amazing how much planning goes into breakfast for twelve people). 

They split up, MA taking the girls and Nicky into town.  They visit all the crazy places in town and stop for ice cream.  Chris, the cute guy behind the counter catches Vanessa’s eye, but he’s staring at Mal and overruns the whipped cream machine.  Vanessa thinks it’s her fault and MA is totally confused.  C’mon Miss Sensitivy, get with the program!  Chris, from this moment forth, you are dubbed IC Hottie.

We get a sitting chapter.  Kristy takes the Rodowsky boys to the pool.  Jackie drops a cookie in the pool, steps on a bee, disappears and tries to buy probably $50 worth of food.  Common Sense Moment: If you send an 8-year-old boy to buy lunch, chances are he’s going to be tempted beyond what he can bear and will try to get as much junk food as he can.  I defy you to find a kid anywhere that wouldn’t.

So MA and Stacey and all the Pike kids rush down to the beach for a day of fun in the sun.  Lo and behold, who should appear, but Toby and Alex (and 8 tiny reindeer).  Turns out they’re mother’s helpers for a whole month here in this fair town and want to have some fun.  That evening, Stacey is gushing about seeing Toby and wonders if they’ll ask them out.  Mal looks at MA as if to say, “Dude, you have a boyfriend,” causing MA to blush and reassure everyone that Logan has nothing to worry about.  But she’s worried, because she didn’t even think about Logan until now.  Mommy Moment: This is why thirteen-year-olds should not have steady boyfriends.  That’s just too young.  They don’t even know themselves yet, much less be mature enough to understand everything that a relationship entails.

Anyway, this whole “asking out” thing ends in disaster when MA and Stacey both are asked out on the same night.  Stacey tells her to cancel with Alex very calmly and MA blurts out that Stacey should have asked her before she made the date.  Common Sense Moment: Um Hon, you did the same thing.  Stacey gets huffy and flounces off to finish getting ready to get dressed while MA fumes about how Stacey is so selfish.  And I comment to myself, “This is the same girl who just chapters before agonized over a postcard to her boyfriend and a few books ago was certain she would marry said boyfriend (unless of course he was cheating with a hot chick in Aruba).  She’s this concerned about breaking her date?”  Vanessa’s love-sick poetry for IC Hottie finally rings a warning bell in her head that something isn’t right, that maybe Vanessa is obsessing over someone she doesn’t even know.  Of course, the obvious reason they’re having so much trouble is that there are just too many boys.  Mommy Moment: If my nine-year-old daughter was writing love poetry to a stranger, I’d want to know about it.  There are some scary people out there.

We get a Dawn sitting chapter from Cali.  Her dad’s girlfriend unexpectedly arrives with two kids, but dear old dad had plans.  He unceremoniously dumps them on Dawn to take care of.  The eight-month-old has colic and the three-year-old is bored.  Jeff helps out with the toddler and Dawn rocks the baby to sleep.  Mommy Moment:  Either A. Ann’s ghostie has no idea what she’s talking about or B. this baby should see a gastric specialist.  Colic rarely lasts longer than 5 months and if your child is older than that, it could indicate gastrointestinal issues.

So MA and Alex reschedule for Saturday, but Stacey has once again decided to head out with Toby.  MA tells her no and gets ready to go out.  They are headed to a fancy seafood restaurant.  Yes, thirteen-year-olds at a fancy restaurant ordering lobster and crabcakes.  Yes, I’ll take their paychecks please!  They end up on the boardwalk and Alex wins her a purple hippo.  MA is floating on air…until she thinks of Logan.

MA takes the girls into Sea City the next day.  First they shop for a souvenir for Margo; then they go to Trampoline Land, where Margo almost gets sick.  Then they go to the putt-putt golf course.  All the while, Vanessa is whining to go to the Ice Cream Palace.  MA can’t figure out why until Vanessa confesses she’s been three times to leave poems for IC Hottie.  MA is a little worried and then becomes a lot worried when IC Hottie asks Vanessa to tell Mallory that he’d love to go out with her Saturday night.  Mommy Moment: Criminy!  Do these writers realize Mal’s eleven????  And IC Hottie is twelve??  Do they realize it’s against the law in the majority of states to employ anyone under 14 and illegal to employ anyone under 16 full time??  This book would make more sense if it was written about high school seniors.  They head home and Vanessa shuts herself in her room for the rest of the day.  MA is very worried about her, but still doesn’t tell Mrs. Pike about this.

We get a Jessi sitting chapter.  Squirt learns what same means and puts the two hamsters together in the same cage.  This is probably the most realistic chapter in the book.

Stacey picks a fight with MA the next day and then they all learn that Toby dumped her.  He wants to go home and see other people and not be tied up with her.  Common Sense Moment:  Well, duh, Stacey, you don’t even live in the vicinity of each other.  Did you think you were going to go steady?  MA and Alex have one last date and neither of them has much to say.  MA blurts something out about Logan; Alex admits he has a girlfriend too and they both laugh.  They decide they’ll be friends forever.

MA arrives home and spies a light on in Vanessa’s room.  She’s awake and writing another poem to IC Hottie.  She’s “breaking up” with him, without telling him that she was his admirer, not Mal.  MA thinks this is a great idea and promises to help Vanessa get into town before they have to leave in the morning.  Then she returns to her room, where Stacey apologizes for being such a jerk.  They tear up and share a moment before going to sleep.

The next morning is crazy with packing up, but MA gets Vanessa into town and to the Ice Cream Palace.  Vanessa times it just right because she knows his schedule (STALKER!!) and leaves the poem without a trace of herself.

They arrive home later that day and MA races into the house to be reunited with her family.  Dawn is sleeping off her jet lag so MA calls Logan, the love of her life.  Dawn staggers down and demands stories, which MA tells her.  As she’s unpacking later that night, she finds a poem from Vanessa about how she’s a true friend for life.  And MA decides Vanessa will be just fine.  The end.