#19 Claudia and the Bad Joke (or Claudia and the Lawsuit Waiting to Happen)

I must be lucky.  Not only did I draw another Claudia book, but I got one that was one of my favorites as a kid…then I read it again and kind of went, mrrr?  This is a good one for some parenting failss.

The cover is pretty normal, but it gives away what the bad joke results in.  I guess the mystery is in how we get there.  The walls look pretty sick too…not sure I’d want to stay in that hospital.

The books starts with Kristy wishing to get hit in the face with a pie.  The girls plus Logan are at a slapstick film festival (apparently Logan invited MA as a date and she invited everyone else…I don’t think that’s what he had in mind, MA) and Kristy’s all about wearing food.  I’m amazed Claudia hasn’t jumped on this bandwagon. She gets right into the introductions and I realize that this old copy has hash marks that show the beginning and end of what has now become the chapter long section of information on the girls.  For your skipping ease, of course.

The next day is a club meeting and, after an indepth look at how the club runs, we have the actual meeting.  There’s a call from a new client, Mrs. Sobak, looking for a sitter for little Betsy, her daughter.  Claudia takes the job, but is confused because she knows the kids who usually sit for Betsy.  Kristy admonishes her not to knock it, but that maybe they’ll get a new client out of it.  She then proceeds to squirt disappearing ink all over MA’s white sweatshirt…amazingly enough, she’s the only one laughing.

Claudia and Dawn hang out for a bit after the meeting (Dawn is lonely since she’ll be the only at her house…I kinda have to go with Tory on her scathing review of Mrs. Schafer’s decision to move back to Connecticut) and then Claudia helps Mimi finish dinner.  “The Genius” comes home and is sober, because life is tough as a genius.  They have a nice dinner before it’s time for homework time.  Now this has been a rule for Claudia for awhile, but in the last book I snarked they must have been on vacation or Claudia wouldn’t have fallen behind so much.  Anyway, she finishes the homework and then gets a crank phonecall….prank season in Stoneybrook has begun!!

It’s the day of Claudia’s sitting job with Betsy and she’s getting nervous.  She’s talked to the other kids who used to sit for her and they all quit because she is a horrible practical joker, to the point she doesn’t know when to stop.  At first Claudia is optimistic, because Betsy seems nice and her mother, while strange (her name is Cookie, which Ann puts in italics…why name your own character something you can’t believe) is also nice.  But the jokes start right away with a dribble glass and a fly in an ice cube.  Then she tricks her with some pepper gum, which really angers Claudia.  This is the kind of job you go to and when you look at the clock only 10 minutes have passed.  She agrees to go outside with Betsy to get her mind of jokes and they sit on the swingset to swing.  Claudia suggests a swinging contest in spite of some funny looks by Betsy and soon they’re going pretty high…and the bottom drops out of Claudia’s swing and she lands on the driveway.  Her leg’s at a pretty funny angle and she knows it’s broken.  She calmly instructs Betsy to call 911, then the Sobaks and then the Rodowsky home before her own parents (what?).  Dawn and Mallory arrive before the ambulance and Dawn calls Claudia’s parents, who will meet her at the hospital.  The ambulance arrives and Dawn rides along with Claudia.  Her leg is in pain now and she is given some pain killers so most of the procedures are hazy to her.  She wakes up in the hospital with her leg in traction.  The break was apparently bad enough that she’ll have to stay in the hospital for a week and home for a little longer before she can go back to school.  She starts thinking about what would have happened if she had broken her arm or hand, which potentially could end her art career.  Perhaps she should quit the club because sitting is too dangerous.

Her hospital stay is fairly eventful, with lots of visitors and flowers.  Her roommate is “a big baby” about her broken elbow and has no friends.  Nice, Ann.  (although I’d probably have said the same thing at that age).  Claudia begs for her friends to sneak her some junk food and Dawn has pity on her and sneaks some in.  MA also sneaks Tigger in, which twigs Claudia out a bit.  During one of her phone calls to Stacy, she confesses that she might quit the club…dun, dun, dun! 

A sitting chapter.  MA and Jessi sit for the Pikes and are inundated by practical jokes.

Claudia is ready to go home from the hospital and is finally released.  She is greeted by friends and family in a hustling bustling flurry and then everyone leaves for work or school.  She has breakfast with Mimi, receives a phone call from her homeroom at school and enjoys a little Wheel of Fortune.  Since she’s an art fanatic, she’s also spent time decorating her cast.  At the BSC meeting that day, her friends have a few little autographs too:  God made rivers, God made lakes, God made Claudia, well we all make mistakes.  Guess who wrote that one.  MA’s confused me at first until my mom pointed out that the car is supposed to be auto.  Then it makes sense.  Claudia springs her fears about sitting on the rest of the club and tells them she might want to quit.  She promises to think about it for awhile when suddenly the phone rings and it’s Mrs. Sobak, looking for another sitter for Betsy.  Ballsy, that woman is.  Claudia is (and rightfully so) upset that Mrs. Sobak calls for a sitter and I would have called her back and said, “sorry, we can’t help you” but these girls are fixers, so they are going to “fix” Betsy.  The best way to fix her?  By waging a joke war, of course.  Mallory volunteers for the first wave of attack, especially since her siblings are all about the jokes right now too.

Which brings us to Mal’s sitting chapter.  Betsy hides on Mal; Mal gives her sneezing powder.  Betsy gets Mal with a bloody tooth; Mal scares her with a slug.  Betsy scares Mal with a rubber snake; Mal scares her with a rubber rat.  Betsy scares Mal with her cockroach and Mal runs out of jokes just as Mrs. Sobak arrives home.  Score in the joke war: 0-0

Dawn sits for Betsy next.  Betsy slimes Dawn’s kid kit; Dawn “faints.”  Betsy gets Dawn with a pooh-pooh cushion; Dawn pretends to see a mouse.  Betsy squirts Dawn with a fountain pen; Dawn pulls out a spider.  Betsy pulls out a rubber toad and Dawn is out of tricks.  They get into a game of Monopoly and end up having a late lunch.  Betsy apologizes and makes sundaes as a peace offering…only Dawn’s is made of shaving cream.  Score in the joke war: Betsy 1, BSC 0

Claudia is currently still stuck at home and is starting to worry about missing so much school. She’s also worried about having to repeat 8^th grade (doesn’t she get sent back in later books?) but Mimi helps her calm down.  She asks if Claudia has made up her mind about whether or not she’s going to stay in the club, but Claudia still doesn’t know.  Then Stacy calls and Claudia heads upstairs to talk to her.  She asks if Claudia has made up her mind about whether or not she’s going to stay in the club, but Claudia still doesn’t know and is slightly annoyed about being pestered about it.  The rest of the club arrives for the meeting and the first official order of business is to demand if Claudia is going to be in the club still or not.  Claudia is irritated, but promises to have her decision in a week.

Kristy is the next to sit for Betsy and she claims she has won the joke war.  She and Betsy go to a viewing of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Kristy makes Betsy promise NO MORE JOKES.  Betsy instantly pulls out the joy buzzer, so it’s on.  They get into the theater and Betsy asks for popcorn.  After she leaves to get it, Kristy switches seats and Betsy can’t find her.  During the middle of the movie, Kristy slips a bloody thumb onto her finger and carefully slides it into the popcorn box.  Betsy screams loudly and some of her schoolmates (whom she joked as well) start to laugh.  Betsy is angry and says Kristy embarrassed her.  Kristy points out that’s what most of Betsy’s jokes do and that’s why people don’t like her jokes or Betsy herself for that matter.  Betsy asks how Claudia is and asks if she can go and apologize to her, even though she had sent her a note of apology.  Claudia is at home and is frustrated over some math she has to study when Kristy and Betsy arrive.  She apologizes to Claudia in person and then Kristy takes her home.  Later Kristy comes back and asks Claudia about the club and Claudia says that she’s going to stay; Betsy’s apology made her change her mind.

The book ends two months later with Claudia getting her cast off.  Her leg is pretty atrophied and she has to have crutches for a little while longer.  There’s another meeting that afternoon and Jessi says that Betsy has another joke catalogue, but didn’t play any jokes on her.  Then there’s a call for a sitter and it’s in a few weeks, when Claudia can sit again.  Hooray!  And the book closes with Kristy still wishing she could get hit in the face with a pie.

Ok, parental fails:  Sobaks, your kid is a practical joker, to the point you have a hard time keeping a regular sitter.  Now she’s played a joke that resulted in someone breaking their leg.  It’s past time to take care of this issue.  At least Betsy wrote an apology note.

Kishis, this is an actual legitimate lawsuit.  I have a really hard time believe you did nothing besides meet your daughter at the hospital after she broke her leg.  At the very least, bang down the Sobak’s door and demand an apology.

Sitter fails:  Do you really think you can “fix” a child who has no parental discipline in this issue?  #1. It’s not your place #2. it’s going to take more than a few jokes to change and attitude.  But then, this is Stoneybrook, not the real world.

#15 Little Miss Stoneybrook...and Dawn

Sorry it has taken me so long to get this posted.  I hate this book.

Ah, this book annoyed me in so many ways as a kid.  Maybe it was because Ann kept pushing that pageants are sexist and I didn’t get what sexist meant, or maybe it was because the girls, yet again, start fighting.  As a grown up, this book pisses me off in so many ways.  I get that Sharon is supposed to be disorganized and scatterbrained, but don’t you think she would have at least thought about what a drastic change she was making for her kids.  They had just gone through a divorce; did she really think it was a good idea to move them across the country, to a different climate, a different culture and  that far away from their dad?  I get she probably needed to get away, but maybe move a few hours away, then slowly transition back east.  Anyway, I digress.

Chapter one, we’re at a meeting.  “And before we go any farther, maybe I should explain who the club members are and what the Babysitter’s Club is.”  Please do, Dawn, since the name in and of itself is not self explanatory.  Wow, the anger is already seeping out.  Mallory and Jessi are “inducted” into the club and Dawn gets her panties in a twist because she wasn’t inducted.

She gets home and after dinner she finds out that Jeff was in trouble at school again.  This time, though, there is no fighting and Jeff begs to go back to California to live with his dad.  Sharon agrees and starts calling her ex and her lawyer about custody arrangements.  Mommy Moment:  Sharon, forget about yourself and move your family back to California.  That’s what I’d do.  Dawn is terribly upset by this and is hurt and angry with her brother (which he has every right to be) and spends the rest of the evening crying.

The next day, Dawn is at the meeting a little early and she and Claudia spy an ad for the Little Missy Stoneybrook contest.  Instantly Claudia proclaims it sexist, as do all of the other girls when they come in.  Thank you, Ann, for shoving your views down our throats.  Anyway, Dawn gets asked to help Margo and Claire Pike get ready for the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant.  Mommy Moment:  I think the reason Mrs. Pike asked Dawn specifically is because she knows Sharon and knows what’s happening with Jeff and thinks this might take her mind off things.  Ha!  My K key is sticking and it spelled Pie.  Margo and Claire shall henceforth be known as Pie.  None of the other sitters are overly happy that she gets asked to take the job and this begins a little competition between the girls over who is the best sitter. 

Kristy has a sitting job for her siblings and manages to talk Karen into entering the contest.  Watson and Elizabeth aren’t overly excited about it and Kristy promises she’ll help her prepare for the pageant. 

Back at the Schafer household, Sharon is picking at dinner, Dawn and Jeff aren’t saying much and finally it all comes to a head.  Jeff is legally able to live with his father for six months to see if the behavior problems improve.  Jeff is ecstatic; Dawn is shocked (that’s what she says) and numb.  She admits she misses California and her friends and her father (pay attention Sharon!!), but that she’s not going to leave her mother.  She calls MA and then spends her evening thinking about Pie.

She meets with Pie the next day and discovers that Margo’s talent is reciting The House that Jack Built and peeling a banana with her feet.  Claire’s talent is singing Popeye the Sailor Man.  Then they try curtseying, which is a disaster.  Dawn realizes they aren’t pageant material.  Mommy Moment:  Aside from plot contrivance. I’m thinking Mrs. Pike knew this too and didn’t want to spend much time on it, but the girls reeeeally wanted to do it, so she hired a sitter to help them.  It’s what I would do if I had a daughter whining about it.  Or I’d just say no.

Mary Anne sits for the St. Perkins girls and convinces Mariah to ask her mom to let her enter the competition.  Again, Mrs. Perkins says it’s okay as long as MA helps her get ready.  Then Claudia sits for Charlotte and talks her into entering the pageant.  You know, Charlotte, the one with terrible stage fright.  And yet again, the mom says okay, as long as Claudia helps her get ready.  Because if your girls wins, you are the best babysitter.  Logic…..it goes bye-bye!

Mallory and Jessi sit for the Pike hoard.  They are all annoyed by Pie practicing for the pageant.

The next meeting is super awkward as none of the girls want to talk about what their pageant contestants are doing.  Then Sharon calls with a non sitting question and Dawn drops the bombshell that Jeff’s going back to California.  Apparently Sharon has become really clingy with Dawn, as though to keep her from going away (remember that in future books) What I find interesting is that none of the girls really says anything supportive or comforting.

Friday is the last day before the pageant and the last day with Jeff in Connecticut.  So of course, Dawn is spending the afternoon getting the girls ready for the next day.  They do a few practice runs, and stop and hide when Charlotte and Claudia come in.  Arg, these girls!

After a quick dinner of leftovers, the Schafers are on the road to the airport.  Jeff pretty much waltzes onto the plane and Dawn breaks down, wondering what it was going to be like growing up without him and him growing up without her.  Mommy Moment:  Seriously, Sharon.  You have to do what’s best for your kids.  Jeff needs to be in California and Dawn needs to be with Jeff.  Arg.

The next day is pageant day.  Dawn hustles over to help Pie get ready and she and Mrs. Pike head to the pageant.  They get the girls checked in and start preparing for the pageant.  Boo-Boo Alert:  Sabrina Bouvier is only a little girl.  In later books, she’s in middle school.  All of the girls’ charges doe well, except for Charlotte, who runs off the stage in tears and refuses to come back.  Myriah Perkins comes in second (Sabrina Bouvier wins, of course).  All the sitters admit that they really wanted to win to prove they were good babysitters.  Common Sense Moment: How would your sitting charge winning a pageant show that you’re a good sitter?  I’d think keeping the kids alive and safe would be a better measure.

One evening, Dawn is sitting at home reading a magazine when the phone rings.  It’s Jeff!  They have a great conversation and Jeff says he misses her.  She is happy to know Jeff is happy, even though it’s really hard to have him so far away.

Then Claire calls…there’s a beautiful child contest at Bellair’s….