#6 Kristy's Big Day (or as I call it Kristy's Big Week)

So why do I keep drawing the books featuring weddings?  Yes, we draw titles out of a bowl to snark, although everyone gets to pick one favorite.  You were burning with curiosity on that one, weren’t you?  "How do they pick which books to snark?  I have a burning desire to know!"

Beef one I have with this cover is that Kristy looks like she’s in her first year at NYU, not 12 going on 13.  What is it with Hodges over aging these girls?  Beef two: Since when do four-year-old boys tie their own ties?  It appears Andrew is tying his and without the aid of a mirror.  My husband can’t even do that and he’s worn a tie almost every day since he was 25.  The description’s a little corny too.  “Kristy’s a baby-sitter – and a bridesmaid too!”  I’m not going to touch that with a 10 foot pole.

The book starts with a Brewer/Thomas dinner party.  The ghost of Ben Brewer is discussed by Karen.  A September wedding date is announced by Watson and Elizabeth.  Kristy is excited to be a bridesmaid but Andrew declines to be in the wedding.  The stage is set for the rest of the book.

Just four days later, the plans fall through for a two reasons.  Reason one: Elizabeth’s job has her in Europe on the date of the wedding.  Reason two: The Thomas house has sold for the asking price and the buyer wants to move in in mid July.  So Watson and Elizabeth are now getting married in two weeks and they will be moving to the Brewer mansion the end of June.  Elizabeth is rightly panicked and the kids are rightly stunned.  DM and Kristy start whining, but Elizabeth gives them the MOM look.  DM shuts up but Kristy keeps pushing, finally stomping off to her room.  But she’s sad, as she has every right to be.  The move was already going to be a big adjustment for her and now she has very little time to adjust.

Elizabeth starts listing what needs to be done for the wedding in TWO WEEKS and I wonder why they don’t just hop down to the Justice of the Peace to quick get married and then have a big, fancy celebration later on when they’ve had time to plan.  This seems like some rather unnecessary stress.  Kristy comes to help and then is late for a meeting of the BSC.  This is in the days before it was a punishable offense to be less than 5 minutes early for a meeting.  We get all of the chapter two stuff in chapter three, and there’s actually a plot and story, not just as many facts and character traits (ew, diabetes!) as can be listed in eight pages.  Kristy explains the wedding situation, they assign some jobs and talk about the final fling dance.

After the last day of school, Kristy comes home and finds Elizabeth at the kitchen table again looking hysterical.  Apparently “Shelia” and “Kendall” (who later are Lisa and Seth) are going to England the following week and are leaving Karen and Andrew with Watson.  Ok, how many people just randomly go to England for “most of a week”?  This seems like something that would be planned ahead of time, unless it’s through work. I have no idea what “Shelia” does, but I know from the Little Sister books that “Kendall” is a carpenter. Is it a carpentry emergency?  Why do both of them need to go?  I like to think they got wind of the whirlwind wedding and decided to be real asshats and leave the kids with Watson on a moment’s notice.  Anyway, some of Elizabeth’s siblings and one of Watson’s friends are coming early to help with wedding prep and are bringing their children.  This means there will be 14 children getting in the way as they work on wedding prep.  Again, just go to the JoP and party later!  Kristy offers the services of the BSC, Elizabeth offers $600 to the girls and Kristy decides she’ll have an emergency BSC meeting to discuss it.

The next part is kind of unsnarkable because it’s really real, with the insecurities and worries that the kids have about having a stepfamily, moving away, how things will work with Watson.  For once Ann actually thought about what a kid might be feeling.

The next day is the emergency meeting and the girls decide they will take on the 14 children.  They divvy the kids into groups by age and make name tags and such.  Mimi pops in with sodas (POP!) for everyone and offers to help should they have problems next week.  I think Mimi was the universally loved character of the BSC, so of course Ann had to kill her off. :(

On Sunday, Kristy is rousted out of bed early and she and the sibs clean the house in preparation for the arrival of all the family.  Nannie (Elizabeth’s mom) comes over in the afternoon to help as well and Kristy pesters about her dress, since Nannie’s sewing it.  And I wonder if Ann has ever sewn, because Nannie says the dresses are basted together, but a long way from done.  In all the sewing I’ve done (and I made my own wedding dress, so I have some street cred) I’ve never basted an entire dress together before sewing it.  It just wouldn’t work.  There’s no way that would work.

All the family arrives and Kristy starts to panic when she sees just how much trouble the kids get into when there are 10 adults present.  Don’t worry Kristy, this is BSC land.  They’re only naughty for their parents (although there is some truth to that…my kids were always better for the sitter).

The sitters prepare the next morning for the day and then the kids arrive.  No one thought about allergies, medications, nap times, and crying children.  There are 7 kids crying when the adults leave, but the girls get the situation under control and soon things are going along swimmingly.

Five days of kids and the girls do pretty well, with only a few incidents.  Dawn’s group, which includes the “precocious” Karen, goes to the playground and Karen terrifies all the kids with stores of Martians coming to abduct them. The counselors ask them not to return.  Stacy takes her group to see a showing of “Mary Poppins” at the theater and one girl (Emma) loses her money and then drops candy over the balcony railing onto the people below.  The usher ushers them out.  MA and Kristy take the boys to the barber where the boys are just out and out nasty rude to the barbers.  Now maybe I’m an anomaly, but my boys have never hated haircuts as badly as these boys seem to. Yikes!

The last day it rains and they decide to play a pretend wedding, which the kids have a lot of fun with.  We get a mention here of Kristy’s other grandma – is she ever mentioned again in the series?  I’m sure that relationship is pretty strained.  It’s also the day of the wedding rehearsal and each child has a bag of clothes.  Emma decides to be naughty and switches all the clothes around, creating a huge hassle for the sitters.  The girls get things straightened out to the best of their abilities and the kids are presentable when the parents arrive.

Rehearsal is smooth, except Karen is freaked out by having white petals, sure it’s going to clash with “Morbidda Destiny” and her black magic.  This child’s obsession with the supernatural is not normal.  Watson, get her some counseling!  I’m surprised there wasn’t a Little Sister book called “Karen’s Ouija board.”  After the rehearsal dinner, the girls get paid…$120 each plus a $10 tip.  They’re rich!

The next day is the wedding day.  MA comes over to help Kristy get dressed, then the Thomas clan goes to Watson’s to get ready.  The wedding is lovely until “Morbidda Destiny” comes over with a gift.  Karen starts freaking out, Watson claps a hand over her mouth and then she bites him.  That kid.  Not cute.

After the wedding everyone leaves for home, a friend of Watson’s schleps Karen and Andrew back to their mother’s (who is apparently back from England) and Watson and Elizabeth head to Vermont for a week of passion, leaving the Thomas kids home alone.  Kristy has been wondering what to get for a wedding present since about the middle of the book and she finally made up her mind at the wedding.  She makes a family tree showing the joining of the two families, has Claudia help her decorate it and frames it.  Yay!

After the title being Kristy’s Big Day, you’d think there would be more focus on the wedding portion.  Instead it only gets about two chapters.  Oh well, it’s over, they’re married.  If I draw “Here come the Bridesmaids” I’ll shoot my foot.

#10 Logan Likes Mary Anne

Ug…I knew I would have to snark a Mary Anne book, but I am not a fan.  She’s the most passive aggressive and self absorbed of all the girls.  Oh, but I can’t be too harsh on her because her mom died…On to the snark!

“It was the last day of summer vacation….Tomorrow my friends and I would become eighth-graders.”  The first of many times you’ll become an eighth grader, Mary Anne.  Don’t get too excited.

The girls have their last meeting of the summer, which is kind of bittersweet for them.  They dish about Cam Geary, the BSC land heartthrob and MA’s true love.  Mrs. Prezzioso calls and everyone groans about Jenny…honestly, they way they whine about this kid, you’d think she was a hair-pulling, biting, kicking, back-taking terror who spends her time terrorizing the cat and destroying the house.  Anyway, they wrap up the meeting, taking a little longer to say good-bye to summer…

MA arrives for the first day of school, gets her schedule, blah, blah, blah, you remember, all the first day stuff.  That’s been too long ago.  Anyway, at lunch all the girls sit together for the first time, since Claudia and Stacy are so much more sophisticated than the other girls and talk about…boys.  There’s a nasty description of the lunch, which Kristy and MA decide to buy because bagged lunches are not cool.  Needless to say, it doesn’t get eaten.  Mommy Moment: If you aren’t eating it, I ain’t paying for it.   Anyway, MA sees Cam Geary…oh, nope, just a guy who looks like him and knows Stacy.  Behold the green-eyed monster!

Friday brings the next BSC meeting where Kristy gets her next great idea to advertise in the schools where parents will see them at their next PTA meetings.  Dawn suggests fliers at the meeting and then the idea comes up to advertise in Kristy’s new neighborhood.  We can all see where this is headed, right?  The BSC ends up with too many clients for them to handle and they need more help.  Enter Logan Bruno, Cam Geary look alike and lover of children….that doesn’t sound right at all.  He also has a dreamy southern accent.  MA is hooked.  He volunteers to help them out and they invite him to come to a meeting.

MA totally stresses, brushes her hair a million times and panics slightly during the meeting.  Obviously a boy in a group of girls makes for some awkward moments, especially when the topic of bras and some toilet stories.  While Logan is out of the room, all the girls feel this is awkward and worry about asking him to join the club.  He returns and they line up a trial job for Logan with a new client, the Rodowskys.  MA is going to be going with him….bum, bum, bum!

Here we meet Jackie Rodowsky, probably one of the most picked on kids the BSC sits for.  His mother mentions they need to keep an eye on him.  Well, he cannon balls off of the couch, falls from the shower curtain rod, spills an entire cup of juice on the floor, gets his hand stuck in a jar, falls of his bike, rips his jeans, and manages to knock MA into Logan’s arms (like she really minded).  Their day ends with Logan telling MA she has a pretty smile and she melts into a MA puddle.

Claudia has a sitting job with the Perkins girls (pre Laura) and she has an adventure with their dog Chewy stealing a construction worker’s orange cones.  Yawn.

At the next meeting the girls again debate Logan joining the club.  Yes, he’s a good sitter, but he’s a boy and the meeting with him there was miserable.  Still, they need help so they decide to ask him to join.  MA calls him later at home to ask him and he says he’s decided not to join.  On the plus side, he asks her to the Remember September dance and she says yes.

Stacy has the next sitting job for Charlotte Johanssen and Charlotte finds out that MA’s birthday is coming up.  She suggests a surprise party and Stacy (quite wisely) says that’s not a good idea since MA’s so shy.  Then Char says what about a regular party with a surprise cake and Stacy is intrigued.  She starts planning the party and hints to MA that she should invite Logan.

MA’s dad is okay with her going to the dance with Logan and even gives her his charge card for a new outfit.  Mommy Moment: For being strict, I think Richard is pretty easy going.  I don’t know that I would be comfortable with my 13-year-old daughter dating.  Of course, I don’t have a daughter, but still.  Maybe it’s just because I’m a mom, and teen pregnancy ads are everywhere, but 13 seems too young.

MA gets a great outfit and the night of the dance, she actually gets into the gym and over to Logan without freaking out.  It actually seems sort of normal for them to meet at the school; I don’t know if a 13 year old boy would actually get a flower for a girl though.  They dance together and start getting a little groovy when MA’s shoe flies off.  That’s the end of dancing for her and she spends the rest of the dance on the bleachers.  Common Sense Moment: People talk a lot more about you pouting on the bleachers than they do about your shoe flying off.  Learn to laugh it off! (This is another reason why I never liked MA ever).

The next notebook entry is Kristy sitting for her sibs and stepsibs while Dawn is over for a sleepover.  They talk about boys and the fact that MA seems to be maturing and really into Logan while Andrew, Karen and DM fight.

MA and Logan have some awkward phone conversation, Stacy calls and chides her for not asking her father about coming to the party, MA interrupts her father in a meeting to ask him and then calls Logan back to ask him if he would come with her.  Then she calls Stacy to confirm and then Kristy calls MA to talk.  WHEW!  It’s all arranged.

The night of the party MA arrives on time, but everyone else is already there (so they could sneak in their presents).  MA is having a great time with Logan when suddenly the lights dim, a cake comes out, her friends start singing happy birthday and MA runs out of the house and home.,

She sits at home and pretty much pouts, because no one thought about how shy she is and how she would absolutely hate to be the center of attention.  Those heinous bitches, how dare they try to do something special for their friend’s birthday. “I take people seriously, but no one took me seriously.”  Puhleese.  Think about someone else besides yourself for a change.  I’m sorry, but this is why I HATE MA.  Anyway, she sits there thinking Logan or Stacy will call and apologize and invite her back to the party.  They don’t.  She spends the rest of her evening having a pity party and being mad at her friends.

The next morning MA goes downstairs and point blank asks her dad for a cat.  He points out the cons, MA counters it and he says okay.  All he asks is that she take care of it and that she adopt one from a shelter. Mommy Moment:  A pet is not something you can decide on in an instant.  C’mon Richard.

Later MA calls Logan and he says that everyone feels bad and they hope she doesn’t hate them.  She tells him she’s getting a cat and invites him along.  She picks out a gray tiger cat and names him Tigger.  Logan gives her a silver bracelet for her birthday and invites MA to the 50’s fling the next month.  Mommy Moment:  You did not just give my 13-year-old daughter a silver bracelet (even though I don’t have one).  Seriously?  What teen boy would even think of that? 

Then MA calls Stacy and they apologize to each other.  MA invites everyone over to her house the next day to see Tigger.  They bring over some cake and her birthday presents.  She opens her presents while Tigger plays with the wrapping paper.  Everyone has some cake, except Stacy and Dawn goes and brushes her teeth after eating all that refined sugar.  It’s good to know this character trait is cemented early.

At the next BSC meeting the jobs are rolling in and again the girls suggest Logan as a sitter.  Instead of having him be a member, they decided to offer to make him an associate member and call him when they get really busy and need help and he won’t have to come to meetings.  He accepts and MA glows.  She’s so happy!  Yay!  Gag.  I need to go brush my teeth now.