The Rankings of Cover Outfits for the BSC

Check out the link and see if you agree!
http://www.buzzfeed.com/summeranne/the-definitive-ranking-of-baby-sitters-club-cover-outfits

"These outfits are ranked definitively from worst to best.

-All 131 original Baby-Sitters Club series books are included.
-When more than one person appears, the cover is ranked based on the most noticeable/important outfit, as determined with a special secret science.

- Since Claudia Kishi is obviously a style icon, the bar is set higher for her and she has to work harder to compete with the other girls (at least when they actually put effort into their looks) to prevent her from just completely dominating the top 25. This is also known as the Dancing With the Stars rule."

#32 Kristy and the Secret of Susan

Her-be-der-be-der.  Kristy knows everything and tries to fix the world.  Dude, there are so many things so wrong with this book besides the blatant use of the word “retard”.

Kristy’s babysitting EM and DM to start and we hear how EM can’t speak much.  Bonnie referenced this in her last post: at first she was doing so well and now she’s not?  Regressing?  I don’t know.  Nannie comes home and Kristy goes to the meeting (because we’re idiots, we don’t actually know she’s Kristy until page 4, and then the paragraph itself is confusing).  Charlie gives her a ride in his car with the little yellow sign he made that says, “babysitter on board”.  Yeah, if you don’t want to be seen in a pink car with a tail hanging out the trunk, I don’t think you’re going to drive a car with a dorky, homemade sign in the window.  I digress.

When she arrives Dawn and Claudia are spying out the window on their new neighbors.  They’re “Aussies” (real politically correct, Ann) and have a few kids.  Blar-dee-blar, here’s the BSC.  It’s amazing and Kristy’s the amazing founder.  18 pages it takes to explain it all. 18 very looooooooooong pages.

During the meeting, they get a call from Mrs. Felder.  She has a daughter who is autistic and is home for a month from her school.  Mrs. Felder needs someone a few days a week for a couple of hours to stay with Susan.  Kristy is the only one who is able to do it so she takes the job.  Common Sense Moment: What I don’t understand is why Charlie needs to pick Kristy up from school and drive her to her job if it’s in her old neighborhood.  She used to walk home from school every day.  She calls Mrs. Felder back and ecstatically says she’ll take the job.  Mrs. Felder is hesitant and says Kristy should meet Susan first.

The next chapter starts with what autism is and I realize that this book was written 22 years ago.  So the definition that she has is childhood schizophrenia, withdrawn and acting out.  She looks up schizophrenia and it is defined as withdrawing from reality.  Well, no wonder miss Kristy thinks that she can fix Susan.

She arrives to meet Susan.  Susan is low functioning on the autism spectrum.  Mrs. Felding sits down with Kristy and explains autism to her and the understanding is a little bit better.  She explains all the special things Susan can do: sing and play piano by ear, knows the days of the week that correspond to dates in history.  Kristy is impressed but is angry with Mrs. Felder because she sends her child away like an outcast.  Mommy Moment:  I have friends with special needs children and there is nothing worse than somebody telling them what they’re doing with their child is wrong.  They’ve already had to deal with the fact that mommyhood isn’t what they’ve dreamed and imagined it to be; somebody telling them the heartbreaking decisions they’ve had to make are wrong is horrific.  Anyway, Kristy decides that she’s going to show the Felders that Susan can live a normal life at home and doesn’t need to go away to a special school like an outcast.  Sigh.  Mrs. Felder sets up the time and tells Kristy not to worry that Susan will be upset; she doesn’t have an emotional connection to her mother so it doesn’t bother her when Mrs. Felder leaves.  Mommy Moment: Poor woman.  To have to say that to a sitter, much less a kid who is thinking, “We’ll see about that.”    Kristy isn’t my favorite at the best of times but I really hate her in this book.  The end of chapter she says she has to fight for Susan.  Fight for what?  Her right to stay in a place where she has no chance to learn or thrive.  Did you not hear anything her mother said to you?

Mal and Jessi sit for the Pikes.  They decide to visit the new Australian family, the Hobarts, and offer them some nice neighbors and fun play time.  Mal starts crushing on Ben, who is 11 like her.  The other kids play together until some rude neighbor kids come by and start making snide remarks.

At the next BSC meeting, Kristy starts talking about Susan and more about what she’s like.  Kristy is sure that if Susan rode the bus to school every day and met kids in her neighborhood that she’d open up and be like the rest of the kids.  Kristy decides she’ll bring Susan over to meet the Hobarts.  She’s sure that if Susan has friends by the end of the month her parents won’t send her away.  Yes, Kristy.  You, a humble thirteen-year-old girl, will cure the disorder that has mystified the medical field and educational field alike.

Kristy’s next sitting job falls on a day when Susan is being difficult and stubborn for her mother.  Her mom pretty much tells Kristy to leave Susan playing the piano unless Susan tires of playing.  As soon as Mrs. Felder’s gone, Kristy forces Susan to stop playing and drags her over to the Hobarts.  She tries to get Susan to participate with tag, but Susan sits under a tree flapping her hands and clicking her tongue.  The neighborhood bullies stop by to tease the Hobarts and end up teasing Susan (who doesn’t care).  James Hobart, who is about Susan’s age, comes to her defense.  Kristy is excited; Susan has a friend!  Then she shows off how smart Susan is by telling them to give her a date.  Susan correctly identifies the day of the week every time and all the kids look at her like she’s a monkey in the zoo.  Kristy, however, is super proud of Susan.

Stacey sits for the Thomas/Brewer kids and they play Let’s All Come In.  Kristy arrives home and is pissed that Mrs. Felder hasn’t changed her mind about sending Susan away to school because Susan has a friend.  Mommy Moment: Yes, my teenaged babysitter telling me my child has a friend is going to change my mind that is backed by 8 years of parenting experience.  Kristy, I want your drugs; they make reality disappear. 

Kristy sits for Susan again and decides to let her continue playing piano.  As she watches Susan, Kristy notices how relaxed and content Susan looks while she’s playing and singing.  (Then leave her be, Kristy!!!!).  Suddenly the neighborhood bully arrives with song requests and dates they want Susan to match with days of the week.  Kristy brags about how special Susan is and tells him the days of the week she sits for Susan.  By the end of the day, she thinks Susan has another friend!  James Hobart stops by and Kristy coaxes Susan out for a walk. James is lonely for a real friend.  Kristy senses something’s wrong, but she’s not sure what. 

Kristy’s next day at school includes an assembly, where she sees the group of special ed students.  They’re being made fun of by other idiot kids, but she’s obsessed by the idea that Susan could be in a special education classroom in a regular school with friends and other people.  Common Sense Moment: Granted, we know more now about Autism Spectrum Disorders now than we did then, but each kid is different.  If Kristy’s so great with kids, why can’t she figure this out instead of trying to force Susan into a specific mold??

Kristy sits for Susan again and Mrs. Felder looks happy to escape.  Susan hasn’t slept in three nights and has been up screaming and crying all night long.  Kristy is about to drag Susan out to see the Hobarts when the doorbell rings.  She starts talking reeeeally slooooowly to try to help Susan “pick up some vocabulary.”  Riiiight, because her parents haven’t tried that before.  Oh, look!  It’s another bully (Zach) from the other day with a list of dates for Susan!  He must want to be her friend!  Uh-oh, has to run.  Lots of homework!  Another doorbell ring.  Oh, look!  It’s some random girl with another list for dates for Susan!  She must want to be her friend.  Uh-oh, has to run.  Hears her mother calling!  Another doorbell ring.  Oh, look!  It’s another random girl with a record to play for Susan!  Let’s play it and see if Susan can play it on the piano!  She even plays the skips!  What a retard!  Wait, a minute, what?  It takes that long for Kristy to realize that all these people aren’t here to be friends with Susan, but to see her tricks.  The tricks you threw out in front of them, like she’s a performing monkey.  Turns out the kids who came to see them the other day is charging a dollar to the kids of the neighborhood to see Susan.  Kristy chases him off and drags Susan over to the Hobarts.

Claudia is sitting for the Hobarts.  James confronts bully Zach and they end up getting ready to skateboard when Kristy arrives.  She tries to foist Susan onto James, but he’s busy playing.  Kristy puts her under a tree and vents to Claudia.  Claudia’s words of wisdom?  Maybe Susan does not “fit in” with “regular kids”.  Have you noticed that nobody else seems to be super excited about your idea Kristy??

Aaaaaaaaaand we’re back at Felder’s, helping Mrs. Felder pack.  Kristy is depressed because she failed in her mission to keep Susan home “where she belongs.”  But she doesn’t mention this to Mrs. Felder.  Common Sense Moment: The one thing she does right – keeping her mouth shut!  Can you imagine how the Felders would feel if they found out how Kristy paraded their child around the neighborhood on your little crusade?  Mrs. Felder tells her about Susan, how she was so bright and advanced before the autism set in around 2.  Susan quits playing piano and is moving around restlessly, so Kristy takes her out for a walk.  She runs into James and Zach; Zach starts to make a snide comment about Susan but James stops him.  Then Susan wets her pants.  Kristy is ashamed for Susan, because Susan “didn’t know enough to be ashamed for herself.”  She also feels ashamed for herself, but she doesn’t know why.  Maybe because you took up a cause that wasn’t one?  Because you tried to make decisions about someone else’s child?  Because you can’t fix everything?  Because you, her sitter, forgot to take her to the bathroom before you left the house? I don’t know.

The day arrives for Susan to leave and Kristy stops by to say goodbye.  She meets Mr. Felder, a large effusive man with a beard and curly hair, and they begin to talk.  She feels so open with him that she tells him about her crusade to keep Susan home.  What do you know, they looked into that.  But Susan was too low functioning for the local special ed classes, so they had to look elsewhere, which meant sending her away.  They’re really excited about this new school, which specializes in music, the only way they’ve been able to reach and connect to Susan.  Mommy Moment:  Well, looky there, they did do their job as parents and are making the best choice for their child.  Mr. Felder continues on, saying they’re having another baby, a little girl they’re going to name Hope.  Kristy instantly calls her Hopie, saying that’s what she’ll call her when she sits for her.  Mommy Moment: HA!  If they knew all the things that went on when they were gone, you can bet you’ll never sit for them again!  You know, they’re never mentioned again in the series either….

Mrs. Felder comes in and asks Kristy if she thinks she’s showing.  Kristy says yes, even though a person has to gain or lose 100 pounds for her to notice.  They load Susan’s trunk and then Susan into the car.  James Hobart shows up to say goodbye; Susan doesn’t really respond.  As the car drives away, James says he wishes Susan could say goodbye and Kristy says maybe someday she will; who knows what she’ll learn at her new school.

Kristy heads to Claudia’s a little early and they talk about Susan.  Kristy says she realizes that Susan needs more help than she can get from her family and the teachers in Stoneybrook.  Wow, that one little conversation with Mr. Felder really changed her mind, huh?  The others arrive and they talk about how the Hobarts are starting to fit in with their peers.  Stacey arrives and looks terrible so she crashes on the bed (foreshadowing…book #42?).  Krsity announces the Felder’s big news, Mal announces she has a date with Ben Hobart and shrieking ensues.  Kristy decides someday she might become a teacher and work with kids like Susan.  God help us all.

#26 Claudia and the Sad Good-bye

Poor Claudia.  She gets the saddest books in this series.  She’s got Mimi having a stroke, her aunt having a miscarriage, racism, child abuse and this one.  The death of Mimi.  I drew the death of Mimi.

It’s really not a snarkable book; I’ll just hit some of the highlights and the mommy moments.  There aren’t really any AWESOME CLAUDIA OUTFITS in this book. L

Claudia starts by telling us how Mimi isn’t doing too well any more.  She’s forgetful and struggles with her words even more so than usual.  She’s also taken to wandering around in somewhat of a daze, confused about where she is and what she’s doing.  Claudia and Janine are spending more time helping, especially with dinner.

Mallory has a run in with Mimi, where Mimi yells at her, but then gives her a porcelain bird.  That very evening, Mimi faints out of her chair at dinner and an ambulance is called.  She spends the next few days in the hospital.  Claudia volunteers her time, but then is resentful.  It seems to me this has happened before, after Mimi had her stroke.  The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with her and run many tests, but the only thing that seems to work is a blood transfusion.

Mimi comes home and Claudia is even more resentful and ends up throwing magazines at her bed because she’s late for her BSC meeting.  She’s extremely sorry, of course, and can’t apologize enough.  Mimi’s also starting to give more things away.

Claudia has her art lesson in the basement (subplot) and Mimi comes downstairs to investigate.  She ends up fainting again and MA shunts the kids outside while Janine calls the ambulance.  This time Mimi is in severe pain, arching her back and screaming.  Unfortunately, the nurses didn’t put her gown on well and it ends up around her waist.  Finally the pain subsides and Claudia readjusts Mimi.  But the doctors still don’t know what’s wrong with her.  Since they can’t figure it out, they decide to send her home since she’s stable.  She talks to Claudia on the phone the night before she’s to come home, but signs off saying she doesn’t want to “confuse the muses.”

The next morning Claudia wakes up at 4:54am and hears her parents up and moving around.  Mimi has died.  The next few days are a blur for Claudia.  The BSC is there for support and even Stacey come up from NYC for the funeral.  But Claud’s in a daze and her grades start to slip.  She can’t stand to look at her painting of Mimi and moves it to the attic.

Things finally come to a head when she spots Janine in Mimi’s room going through her things.  She explodes and ends up saying she hates Mimi.  Her parents happen to hear her and they have a talk.  Claudia’s angry that Mimi died, that the doctors didn’t do more, that she’s sad and lonely.  Her parents and Janine talk and Claudia feels better.  They sort through Mimi’s things and find she has labeled many items to give away.

Claudia herself makes a collage in memory of Mimi and hangs it up in Mimi’s old room, now the guest room.  She returns Mimi’s portrait to her room.

Subplot

A newer client, Mrs. Addison, calls the club asking Claudia if she’d give her daughter Corrie art lessons.  Claudia decides to ask a bunch of the neighborhood kids to join as well and MA volunteers to help.

It turns out that Corrie gets dropped off way early and picked up way late.  Her parents seem to prefer to shuttle their children from one activity to another while they live their own life.  Corrie and her brother Sean feel abandoned and Corrie latches on to Claudia.

Claudia finally confronts Mrs. Addison about how the children feel abandoned and voila!  Mr. and Mrs. Addison magically decide to be caring and attentive parents.

The other students band together after Mimi’s death and make a large collage for her in memory of Mimi.

Mommy Moments:

• Mr. and Mrs. Kishi, we’ve been through this before.  You can’t just expect Claudia to take care of her ailing grandmother without a little teensy bit of resentment.  She’s a thirteen-year-old girl.
• I get that the BSC is correct in saying it seems that the Addisons are abandoning their children.  BUT if some thirteen year old kid told me I wasn’t spending enough time with my kids, I don’t think I’d magically change my life overnight.

Continuity

• In this book, Emily Michelle is doing wonderful.  She’s picking up the language so fast , is speaking clearly and is thriving in her environment.  Yet, in the next Claudia book EM suddenly is doing terrible and is no where near where she should be. Huh.

Happy Super Bowl win, Seattle!

So....

...just how rare are naturally conceived identical triplets?  Between one-in-a-million and one-in-ten-million pregnancies.  Mrs. Pike, aren't you just so lucky???  Tess, don't you wish that was you?

#28 Welcome Back, Stacey!

I hate the flu.  ‘nough said.

The fates seem to think that I need to snark books about divorce, so of course I draw this one.  Hoorah.  Suffice it to say, it’s hard to read.  Also, the title kind of ruins the book; she doesn’t actually make her decision to move back to Stoneybrook until toward the end.  There really isn’t any suspense when the title is Welcome Back, Stacey and you see her friends (very very awkward looking friends) welcoming her home.  Seriously, Hodges.  Claudia looks like Tiger Wood’s sister and (I’m just assuming here) Mary Anne and Kristy are standing REALLY close to Claudia and waving awkwardly.

The book starts with Stacey shaking herself back to reality while she’s sitting.  She’s worrying about her parents fighting again instead of paying attention to the children.  Terrific!  We get her babysitting background and how she is the only person in her whole building who likes to sit so she gets a lot of jobs.  She’s also moved twice in the space of a year and wasn’t too thrilled about that.  Now her parents are fighting.  Her charges’ parents come home, pay her and she heads back to her place. 

As soon as she steps off the elevator, she hears her parents fighting.  They are really going at it, fighting about how much time Mr. McGill spends at the office, how much money Mrs. McGill is spending at the stores, how she wants them to move out of the city and how he’s not moving and commuting.  Stacey decides to run and visit Laine; she can’t go into the apartment, not with her parents fighting.  She runs to her apartment, crying and scares the living daylights of her friend.  Laine tries to calm her down and recommends she call Claudia. 

The entirety of chapter three is the exposition of each member of the BSC.  The. Entire. Chapter.

She calls, Claudia answers and instantly knows something’s wrong.  She has a small argument with Kristy over the use of her phone during meeting time, and is back on.  Stacey pours out her story and Claudia has no words of wisdom for her, so she passes her off to Dawn.  Stacey feels a little funny sharing family business with her, but Dawn kind of weedles out of her what has been happening.  Stacey changes the subject and asks about Jeff.  Then she talks to Mary Anne, Kristy, Jessi and Mal before she has to head home.  Laine assures her that her parents are probably making up and having a romantic dinner.

Stacey arrives home and her parents are quiet, not talking, but then they ask to talk to her.  Bad sign.  They pretty much just say, “We’re getting a divorce.”  Not that it’s a total surprise.  They cite irreconcilable differences and say that they really don’t love each other any more and that their marriage counselor advised and amicable divorce.  Mommy Moment:  It’s really hard to snark this book.  As a parent and a second wife, I have some very firm beliefs about divorce.  Marriage takes work and it’s terrible when there are issues that make it necessary.  But I think in this throw away society people don’t work at it and throw it away.  You have to be willing to make changes to your own life, to give something up.  If you can’t think of why you’d want to do it, look at your kids.  I have three reasons to make changes to myself for the good of my family.  Ok, off soapbox.

Stacey locks herself in her room for the night, in spite of her parents’ continual attempts to come in.  She gets up, gets dressed (short red pants with purple suspenders 0ver a bright yellow and black sweatshirt, purple push down socks  and a pair of red high tops) and ignores her parents.  She dawdles to school but doesn’t get into trouble.  She surmises she’ll get special treatment for awhile and decides to take advantage of it.  She wanders around downtown and finally arrives home around 6.  She tries to avoid her parents, but there’s a note taped to her door telling her to go back to the living room to talk to her parents.  Mommy Moment: Whoo-hoo!  They tell her the arrangements of the divorce, including the fact that she’s going to be in charge of choosing who the live with.  Mommy Moment: Boo.  Don’t make her choose between the two of you!!  Her dad is staying in the city, but her mom is thinking about moving back to Stoneybrook.  Mommy Moment:  Now we know she’s really trying to get Stacey to live with her.  Stacey tells them she can’t decide until she knows where they’re going to live. 

After dinner she retreats to her room and calls her friends, starting with Laine.  Laine begs her to stay in the city.  She calls Claudia next, who, of course, begs her to come back to Stoneybrook.  Then she calls Dawn for advice, who advises her on what’s going to happen.

Stacey has a sitting job for the Walkers (Grace and Henry) and once they’re asleep, she starts to ponder where she’s going to live  While she’s thinking she realizes Dad will be hurt if she lives with Mom and vice versa.  Mommy Moment: Again, boo.  Don’t make her choose between the two of you!!!  As she’s thinking about that she decides it would be better if she didn’t have to make the decision if her parents were back together.

So she tries a bunch of ideas to get them back together, but they see through it and she ends up in trouble by the end.  Good try, Stace.

Her mom heads to Stoneybrook to look for houses and Stacey comes along.  Her mom recommends that she call Claudia to come along.  They all go house hunting, see a few houses, but none of them really grab them.  There’s a house at the end that they like, that’s a little out of the price range but right behind the Pikes.  They don’t make any commitments.

Stacey stays and spends the night in Stoneybrook having a sleepover with the BSC. She has fun, but misses New York and feels a little guilty about it.

A few days later her dad comes home announcing that he’s found a place.  Her mom is slightly stunned (I think perhaps it her officially that her marriage really is over) and Stacey cries that she didn’t think that they would really get a divorce.  Sigh…poor kid.

A few days later her Mom calls the real estate agent in Stoneybrook and tells them to put the house back on the market because she doesn’t know if she needs a place that big.  Stacey makes out her own pros and cons list and decides to move to Stoneybrook.  And she’s right; her dad is hurt. 

They pack and argue and get on with life.  Poor kid.  She says goodbye to all her friends and the kids she sits for, has one last NYC breakfast, courtesy of Laine (it’s not like she’s never coming back) and gets on the road with her mom back to Stoneybrook.

Of course, everyone’s there with a banner and to give hugs, but when the hubbub dies down, it’s just Claudia and Stacey together.  Stacey admits she’s not 100% happy to be back and she’s not sure she made the right decision.  Claudia very sensibly points out that Stacey didn’t be asked to be put in this position; her parents did that.  She did the best she could.  Go Claudia!

One week later, Stacey and her mom finally get the house unpacked, even though it looks pretty bare.  Stacey’s mom asks how school is going and things are going well. She leaves to sit for Charlotte J and then heads to a BSC meeting.  It’s pretty much the same old same old: Mal complains about being 11, Kristy turns dictatorial and they get some jobs.  As Mal and Stacey ride their bikes home, Mal asks if she’s glad to be back.  Stacey says she is, but she knows deep down inside that she’ll always miss her dad and that there will always be something missing.  Mommy Moment: and it never goes away.  Just ask my stepkids.

#33 Claudia and the Great Search (Claudia's Wild Goose Chase)

The Yuletide festivities have passed, the presents have been opened and my hips are another inch wider.  Hoorah!  Tory is down with the flu after taking care of her own kids, so she’s taking it easy and I’m posting.

But today we re going to snark about a girl who can eat as much junk food as she wants without getting a pimple or gaining a pound.  It’s Claudia!  And she thinks she’s adopted!  Her logic is astounding and um, flawed.

We see Claudia snoozing her way through science, wondering why the word species is species no matter how many you have.  Well, Claud, it’s a Latin word used in English…but you don’t really care, so let’s move on.  She’s counting down the minutes because she gets to leave early today.  Janine is getting an award at her school; Claud and her family are going to attend the ceremony.  They are escorted to the front to the reserved section by a gushing teacher.  I don’t remember my school making such a big deal about awards; we had pep rallies.  Apparently they focus on academics here at SHS. Janine gets her award and afterward, the Kishis are approached by teachers.  Claudia is told again and again how they can hardly believe she and Janine are sisters.  Well, here’s a thought, Claud.  You’re dressed like a bad 80’s Sears catalogue (a very short black skirt, an oversized white shirt with pink and turquoise poodles printed all over it, flat turquoise shoes with straps, and a ton of jewelry, including poodle earrings.  Hair pulled to the side in a high pony tail with a pink clip) and Janine looks…normal (hair cut pageboy, pleated plaid skirt, white shirt with a round collar, stockings and blue heels).

Claudia doesn’t want her parents to think she’s jealous, so she’s happy to escape the auditorium and go home with her dad to the quiet of her room after all the interviews and congratulations that Janine has received.  We then have 19, yep 19 pages of exposition.  It’s a Monday, so it’s meeting day.  Kristy calls the meeting to order and instantly starts stressing about Emily Michelle.  Her pediatrician is concerned about her lack of speech development.  Apparently EM is also having nightmares and doesn’t even play like a two year old.  Well, let’s see here peeps.  This child has a) lost her mother b) been stuck in an orphanage c) been transferred to a new family in a new country d) been given an overachieving sister who demands nothing less than Gabby Perkins in a sister and e) now repeated her second year of life in the BSC time loop.  Do you think there might be some reasons why she’s not progressing?   Well, Kristy’s mom calls needing a sitter and Claud gets the job.

After the meeting, she’s back to being a little depressed, but decides to get creative with the dinner salad.  There’s a cake to go with dinner as well, to celebrate Janine’s achievement.  Along with her award, she gets $250, which she plans to put toward college.  Claud about spontaneously combusts; she’d blow the entire amount of money on a sweater (day-glo, never the less), art supplies ( not so bad) and candy.  Yes, child, be glad you don’t gain weight.  If you buy that amount of candy to eat, it’s a miracle you’re not suffering from childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes.  But then you and Stacey can be diabetes buddies.  Maybe that’s her goal!!

Claudia rustles through the living room and finds some photo albums.  They’re mostly of her mom and dad after their marriage and then an album of Janine.  But hardly any of Claudia.  Very few baby pictures.  She starts rustling through her dad’s desk, looking for pictures that weren’t put into albums and comes across a lock box.  Suddenly I understand why Claudia struggles in school; her logic is way flawed.  Because a) there aren’t a lot of pictures of her b) she and her sister don’t look a lot alike and c) there is a lock box in her dad’s desk, she’s adopted.  Yep, that’s a pretty big leap. 

She keeps her awful secret to herself for the next week.  She comes up with a couple of different scenarios of what happened; my favorite is the one where she’s stolen from the hospital, bought through a crooked lawyer for a huge sum of money and, when discovering they bought a stolen baby, her parents decided to go incognito.

Claudia manages to get through the week and heads to sit for EM and DM.  EM cries for her parents, as Claudia is warned she might.  She struggles through the evening and finally gets EM and DM to sleep.  Stacey calls and Claudia confesses her secret.  Stacey is skeptical, but consoles Claudia that she’s not related to Janine.  A loud crash of thunder and EM is awake with a nightmare, so Claud signs off, but not before warning Stacey to keep this a secret.

Dawn sits for EM and DM.  She stops EM from putting a pebble in her mouth and wonders if 2 year olds shouldn’t be putting things in their mouths anymore.  Well, when comparing EM to Gabby Perkins, it’s no surprise that she’s behind.  Any normal 2 year old would be.  There’s so much pressure put on kids now to do more and be more at younger and younger ages that it’s no surprise child suicide is on the rise.  Anyway, Kristy approaches Dawn, concerned about EM and how she didn’t make it into a school program because she’s not toilet trained.  I can’t think of ANY program that has that requirement for a two year old.  Grrr….

Claudia starts searching for her birth mother.  She starts with the agency the Brewers adopted EM through, called Love Bundles.  Seriously?!  That name just screams “illegitimate business!!!”  Turns out they only started five years previously and only deal with Vietnamese adoptions.  Claudia’s next step is to go to the bank to get her birth certificate, but she doesn’t exactly understand how the whole key thing works and ends up leaving embarrassed.  Her last stop is her pediatrician’s.  It turns out she had another pediatrician when she was born and didn’t start seeing Dr. Dellenkamp until she was almost 2.  The receptionist looks at her like she’s nuts and Claudia heads home, certain Mrs. Wilson is hiding something!!.  Dun, dun DUN!

Claudia sits for EM and DM again. DM takes off for a friend’s house and Claud is stuck er, staying behind with EM.  Claudia starts trying to get EM to pick different color crayons and give them to her and finally EM catches on to what Claud’s up to.  Elizabeth gets home, squees and asks Claudia to tutor EM.

Stacey sits for the St. Perkins girls, who make cookies without a recipe.  Stacey finds a book about adoption and mentions it to Claud.

Claudia has to have this book and checks it out of the library.  She also skims through the paper from the time she was born and finds birth announcements of baby girls who were born the same time she was.  Her name is not there…she must be adopted!  There is a girl named Resa Ho born around the time she was; it must be her!  She calls Stacey, who comes over to calm her down a bit.  Claudia goes through all of her discoveries and Stacey somewhat questions her logic.  Stacey, the mathematic genius, can’t sense that it is statistically improbable that her friend is adopted?  She actually encourages Claudia to start her search.  Heh boy.

Claudia calls all of the families, hoping to find out who is missing a daughter.  She is able to account for all of the girls…except Resa.  She calls Stacey (who is feeling tired) to dish and heads over to her house to take a break.

Kristy sits for DM.  He’s feeling left out and lonely because EM is getting so much attention.  They have a Krusher’s practice and Bart shows up to walk her home.  They arrive back at the mansion in time to see Nannie return with EM after her re-evaluation at the hoity-toity preschool.

The next day Claudia is tutoring Emily again.  Emily’s starting to talk more, knows some colors and shapes and today Claudia is going to teach her how to count.  Seriously?  My two year old can’t comprehensively count yet; she just zooms through the numbers.  I guess its time for a tutor.  As soon as EM leaves, Claudia calls Wyoming and the Hos.  She gets numbers for three Ho families and  is able to reach two of them.  One woman does not answer, so Claudia immediately assumes she is that woman’s daughter.  She calls Stacey, who (finally!) puts the breaks on Claudia’s imagination and tells her to talk to her parents about this.

She and barely get through dinner, to the point that her parents ask to talk to her.  She breaks down and starts crying, accusing them of lying to her about her birth and not telling her she’s adopted.  I’m sure of all the things her parents expected to come out of her mouth, that wasn’t it.  She spews out all of her “discoveries” and dares her parents to tell her it isn’t true, which, of course, it isn’t.  Turns out her birth was announced in a discontinued paper, there aren’t as many pictures of her because she’s the second child and her parents were busier and the lock box in her dad’s desk contains $500 in emergency money.  Claudia, of course, feels stupid, but her parents assure her they love and appreciate her for who she is.  Later, they show her a picture of Mimi at the same age and they could have been twins.

The Friday meeting arrives, along with Stacey, who is yet again beat.  Kristy arrives and announces that EM was reevaluated and the school says she will be accepted in the fall.  Claudia is to keep working with her because her mom wants EM to get used to being with people outside of her family. 

After the meeting, Claudia decides she likes being a part of her family and rousts Janine away from her computer to make dinner together.

Hoorah!

#27 Jessi and the Superbrat

Oh my goodness, this thing was a beast to get through.  Honestly.  We have one of the first ghostied novels here.  The author thanks Jan Carr for her help in preparing the manuscript.  It isn’t one of the more interesting books in the series, believe me.

The cover shows Jessi looking like Michael Jackson with a migraine.  I don’t know anyone who can contort their bodies like that. She is at a 90 degree angle at the waist.  Wow.

The book starts with Becca running through the house retrieving the family for TV time.  I guess TV isn’t evil yet.  But before we can sit down for the show, we have to have the chapter two information.  Then they sit down to watch P.S 162.  Becca reveals that the kid who plays Waldo used to live in Stoneybrook.  Jessi calls Mal and finds out his name: Derek Masters.  He used to be in Nicky’s class.  Jessi is ecstatic!

She slides into the meeting the next day and we meet the girls of the club.  During the meeting, Mrs. Masters calls to request a sitter for her boys, Derek and Todd.  Jessi is the only one free and squee!  She gets the job.

And because we wouldn’t be the BSC if we didn’t have a vocabulary lesson, Jessi defines carriage for us.  She’s in ballet class and it’s not going well until the end when she feels herself soaring.  Madame Noelle pulls Jessi aside and asks her if she’d like to audition for Swan Lake.  Jessi fantasizes about dancing the lead and decides to audition.

Jessi is excited to babysit for Derek and Todd.  Becca begs for information about the show, but Jessi promises himself and her sister that she’s going to focus on the kids, not the star.  Jessi and Derek have some back and forth conversation; Jessi asks about LA, Derek asks about life in Stoneybrook.  She plays Candy Land with the boys and tells Derek about her ballet audition.  He offers to be her director and to help her prepare for her auditions.

So Derek isn’t doing real well “getting back into real life.”  The other kids stare at him and ask weird questions, reporters show up for his first day back at school, he gets called names and gets into fights.  In particular, he has issues with a a boy named “John.”  “John” (because we all know it’s really Derek) does all sorts of nasty things.  Jessi is outraged and calls “John” a superbrat!  She informs the BSC posthaste so they can solve the problem.

Kristy sits for Karen, who invites Hannie and Amanda over to play.  Karen insists upon being the star.  Rah.

Jessi goes to her audition, is a little twigged out by all the dancers that are there (some are even from NYC!), but gets a callback.  She calls Mal to tell her and finds out from Mal that Derek threw food all over a kid at school.  Jessi defends him and says the superbrat must have pushed him too far.

Claudia sits for the Masters kids.  Derek feeds her more “john” bs and they run into some boys from school.  All of the kids start to hang out and end up having a really good time.

Jessi goes to her callback and, since she has a job sitting for the Masters right afterward, gets to perform not only for the director and panel, but also for Derek.  They head back to the Masters’ house, where Todd (oh yeah, the Masters had a second kid!) lets it spill that Derek’s in a movie and they’re going back to LA in a few weeks.  Jessi starts thinking she should go to LA too, just because Derek said it was a good idea. Yes!! Excellent deduction, Watson!

She starts writing down names and phone numbers of talent agencies to represent her.  While that stew is simmering, she decides to start planning a going away party.

When she raises it to the BSC, they can’t find a time, but they finally figure it out.  Then Mal spills the beans that Jessi made it to the second rounds of auditions.  Jessi’s a little upset she told, but then, she never said it was a secret.  You want it to be a secret, make it a secret, honey.

Jessi tries to convince her parents she should be a model and act, but they use logical arguments and common sense to counter her request.  In the end, they let her try calling agencies, as long as it’s not farther than Stamford.

Jessi tries to get more information from Derek about the acting/modeling word.  He invites Jessi to move in with them in LA while trying to get her big break.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Mal mentions to Jessi there’s no one in Derek’s class named John.  Jessi says he’s probably in another class or grade. Hmmmm

It’s party time!  The morning of Jessi’s big audition is when the party is.  They have games and breakfast food and non BSC charges SHOW UP FOR THE PARTY.  They eat food, play games and have a good time.

But, all good things must come to an end Jessi heads to her audition.  Jessi does her best and leaves it up to the fates.  She gets a call – she made it!

Jessi stops to tell Derek before he leaves and he tells her it’s great and that she won’t be going to LA soon.  Then we have the confession that Derek himself was “John” (oh shock and horrors) and he did all the nasty things John did.  Huh, totally did not see that one coming.

Mommy Moments:

• If my child was a “tv star” I’m not sure I’d try to get him back into normal life.  Life is obviously no longer that kind of normal.  Maybe it’s time to make a new norm.
• Along with that, what’s to stop the paparazzi from parking outside his school if they want to?
• Perhaps some consistency and continuity, Masters family, especially for Todd’s sake?  You’ve been here a few weeks and are now moving back to LA.
• I think Mama and Papa Ramsey are they best BSC parents.  They actually discuss things with their kids, rather than just saying, “yeah, sure, whatever you want honey.  Just don’t burn down the house.?”  They’re even going to let her try to get an agent, as long as it’s in their parameters.
•  

Claudia Outfits:

• A bright pink t-shirt, a short red flouncy skirt, and underneath the skirt she had on black footless tights that she had rolled up to mid-calf.

This is my first ghostied snark – if they’re all that awful, it’s going to be a long time between blog posts.!