#7 Claudia and Mean Janine

I really liked Claudia, except for her relationship with Janine.  This book is supposed to be Janine being mean to Claudia, but I really never saw it.  Even as a kid I thought it should have been called Mean Claudia and Janine.  Anyway, let’s get started.

We start off at the Kishi house on a morning in July.  Claudia is getting ready for her art class and tells us she doesn’t like school, but loves art.  Claudia’s sister Janine is a genius but Claudia really just thinks she’s a big dork.  Mrs. Kishi says Claudia isn’t fair sometimes – that inside, Janine is sensitive and loving and creative in her own way but Claudia doesn’t look past the big words to see it.  She also says Janine wishes she was more like Claudia with lots of friends and interests and that’s why she teases Claudia.  Woo-hoo!  Go Mrs. Kishi!  If only that sank in with Claudia…

But then Claudia admits she’s a disappointment to her parents because academics are important to them and she’s interested in art.  We meet Mimi, Claudia’s beloved grandmother.  After this, we get the later chapter 2 summary in 2 pages and then Janine asks Claudia how the club will work with Kristy moving – only in Sheldon type language.  Claudia explodes and Janine huffs off, but she leaves feeling rather hurt.

That night at the club meeting Kristy explains that her older brother Charlie is happy to drive her to club meetings at a low price.  Then she unveils her new great idea: a summer playgroup for the month of July.  Stacy volunteers her house, her parents okay it and the latest business of the BSC is born!

They spend the next few days handing out fliers and recruiting kids; even “little” Mallory Pike will be coming each day as a helper.  Kristy pitched this idea as a way for kids on summer break from school to get rid of their summer boredom; I find it ironic that most of their attendees are not yet in school.

The night before camp starts Claudia and Mimi make dinner while the elder Kishis are out; Claudia is to ask Janine if she wants waffles, but she rather informs her sister and they have a little tiff.  Dinner itself goes well with Mimi putting out fires between the girls before they get too hot.  After dinner Janine suggests the trivia game.  Honestly Janine, do you think this is going to end well?  Short story: they play, the genius wins, Claudia has a fit, Janine storms off, Mimi scolds Claudia and then heads for bed.

Claudia goes to apologize to Janine when they hear a giant thump and they discover Mimi on the floor in her room.  They call 9-1-1, Mimi is rushed to the hospital and Claudia stays home to tell her parents when they arrive.  The diagnosis is a stroke, a pretty severe stroke considering the only symptom she had before passing out was fatigue.  My father had a stroke several years ago and he not only had fatigue, but dizziness and weakness on one side.  Suddenly the right side of his face started to droop and we took him in.  He had a pretty mild stroke though.

Claudia goes to playgroup in the morning and tells the club members about Mimi.  The kids all make get well cards for Mimi and the sitters complain about Jenny Prezzioso, which seeing as she’s not sharing, refusing to wear a smock over her white lacy dress and is being rude to other children, I can live with.

Later that day Claudia sits for the Newtons and notices Jamie’s jealousy of Lucy.  She also notices just how much he loves her.  They run into Janine outside the Kishi’s house and here starts the most ridiculous exchange in the whole book.  My take, of course, since Ann would never use salty language:

Claudia: “How was your day?”

Janine: “It was very exciting-”

Claudia: “You callous, insensitive bitch!”

Janine: “What?

Claudia: “You didn’t immediately ask about Mimi or Mom.  Or the Dali Lama for that matter!”

Janine: “You asked me how my day was.  You didn’t give me a chance to ask about them.  Besides, I called Mom and found out how Mimi is.  She’s doing okay.”

Claudia: “You Toadcrud!  Why didn’t you tell me?”

Janine: “You didn’t give me a chance.”

Claudia: “May you live 1000 years in a fungus encrusted cave with hippie yippie crabscrod as your only friends." (raises hand to slap Janine)

Then Claudia has the gall to say Janine ruined her afternoon.  Um, Claud?  Other way around, dearest.

That night after the club meeting and dinner, the Kishis go to see Mimi, who just woke up.  The tubes and wires freak Claudia out and she isn’t able to spend much time in the room.  The next night they go back and Claudia has psyched herself up to stay and talk.  She is talking with Mimi and notices her blinking.  The two of them begin a little blink code and everyone in the family is able to communicate with Mimi.  Later at home, Claudia sees Janine crying at her computer.  To give Claudia some credit, she does call out to her, but Janine doesn’t seem to hear so she leaves.

Playgroup is continuing on and sweet precious little Karen Brewer comes with Andrew for a day.  Karen tells everyone Andrew will turn into a monster at 10am and all the children flee from him.  Well, 10 rolls around, Andrew is normal, but Jenny P is still afraid.  So the sitters have Andrew tell her to wear her smock every day and she agrees to do so.  Way to go sitters!  Rather than do something yourselves, you have one child terrify another into compliance.  Woo-hoo!

We come into the next scene finding Claudia making dinner, feeling guilty about giving Mimi the stroke.  Her parents come in and tell her they have good news and to get her sister.  Segue into the next most ridiculous conversation in the book.

 Claudia: “Thanks for helping me with dinner.”

Janine: “What? I didn’t know you were starting dinner.”

Claudia: “It’s 6pm.  What did you think I was going to be doing?  Knitting a sweater? ”

Janine: “Why did you come into my room?”

Claudia admits she feels bad after this confrontation because she didn’t bother to ask Janine to help or tell her she was planning to start dinner.  Remember that next time Claudia.

The good news is that Mimi is out of intensive care, starting to feed herself and attempting to speak.  They go to visit her and she is able to write that she is happy to see them.  The words and letters are all mixed up, which scares Claudia, but the doctors seem happy with her progress.  She’s going to start occupational therapy and the doctors think more family stimulation will help her, plus when she comes home, she’ll need someone to stay with her.  Janine starts to talk, but Claudia railroads her and volunteers her mornings, giving up the playgroup.  After all, she did give Mimi the stroke.

The next day’s playgroup is foreshadowing about Kristy’s new neighborhood when her collie Louie is brought over and needs a bath.  She’s worried about the snobby people and is afraid they aren’t going to like Louie….ahem, ahem, the Thomas kids.  They give Louie a bath and gussy him up a bit for his debut to high society.

Claudia continues to work with Mimi, who gets the green light to go home.  Who volunteers to stay with her?  Claudia, of course!  Is Janine even consulted?  Nope.  Claudia is sure she’ll be glad since all she’s done since Claudia started working with Mimi is bury her nose in a book and hardly talk to anyone else.  Perhaps the fact she can never get a word in edgewise is why she’s pulling even more into her shell???

The first day with Mimi home goes well and she and Claudia get into a routine, with the exception of one day with Mary Anne, where Mimi ends up yelling at her.  I’ll let her have that one; when a little girl you watched grow up is watching you, it’s a little embarrassing.  Again, did they ask Janine if she could help out??  Anyway, Mimi is improving, but there are some things she’ll never be able to do again, which is rather sad.  Nothing much snarkable there.

Claudia sits for the Newtons again so that Mrs. Newton can get everything ready for baby Lucy’s christening party, which, of course, the BSC will be attending and assisting at.  Eeesh!  I wish they had been around for my girls’ baptisms; it would have saved me a lot of time and hassle.  My mom was here and helped a lot though.

The day of the christening arrives; all goes well at the church and things are humming along at the party until it’s time for the gifts.  Jamie gest presents as well as Lucy, but they’re smaller and he’s jealous, so it doesn’t go well.  Then he starts vying for attention, but not getting any.  The end result is that he nearly dumps a pitcher of punch on his sister, but stops at the last minute because he loves her.  Claudia does the plot contrived comparison between Jamie and Lucy and her and Janine and shock of shockers discovers she loves her sister!

She gets home from the party, finds Mimi alone and proceeds to duke it out with her sister.  This time, she has an actual beef since Mimi isn’t supposed to be left alone and Janine did just that.  Conversation:

Claudia pounds on door

Janine: “Is something wrong?”

Claudia: “Mimi is downstairs ALONE!!!!”

Janine: “I’ve been right here.”

Claudia: “You’re supposed to be with her.  Can’t you do anything right in this family?”

Janine: “Go away, nobody wants me in this family anyway.”

Claudia: “WTF?”

Janine: “You’re always pushing me into my world.  Janine, go study, don’t neglect schoolwork.  Nobody asks me to do anything or to help them, then you come in here and go postal on me for dumping more work on you!”

Claudia: “But you do!”

Janine: “No, you volunteered your mornings, interrupting me.  Why was Mary Anne asked to be here when I could have stayed?  No one told me, no one asked me, no one let me speak.  It’s as if I don’t exist.”

That’s the main gist of the conversation.  Janine finally unloads about being shoved into her studies and then blamed for the extra work load.  She decides to make a little more effort to be outgoing and helpful and heads downstairs for special tea with Mimi.

The summer is winding down (as is the book) and Claudia finally apologizes to Mimi for giving her the stroke with her behavior.  Mimi straightens Claudia out and we see shades of the old Mimi return.  Claudia is glad to have her grandmother back.

Okay, remember this quote from the beginning of the blog? “Mrs. Kishi says Claudia isn’t fair sometimes – that inside, Janine is sensitive and loving and creative in her own way but Claudia doesn’t look past the big words to see it.  She also says Janine wishes she was more like Claudia with lots of friends and interests and that’s why she teases Claudia.”  By the end of the book, that’s the conclusion Claudia comes to.  Just goes to show you that you can tell your kids whatever you want, but they still have to learn it the hard way.

Mommy Moments (there aren’t too many in the early books)

• Okay, Kishis, I get that you’re excited Janine is so smart, but did it occur to you that maybe pushing her into her books all the time is one of the reasons she has a hard time communicating with others?
• Dear parents of Stoneybrook, never, never, never compare your children to each other.  Don’t say, “You should be more like so and so; they get their work done on time and yada yada yada.”  You’re just asking for that child to grow up and become a serial killer.  Or the kid who never leaves your couch.
• Again, Kishis, why didn't you ask Janine to stay with Mimi instead of Mary Anne?  It's not easy being at your weakest in front of a next door neighbor, especially one who is the same age as your granddaughter.

 General Comments

• Okay, at the beginning of the series, Jenny P is a bigger pain than Karen, but not by much.  Later on that precocious blonde fireball turns into a snotty, self-centered brat.
• In Mary Anne Vs Logan, Jenny P has some jealous feelings toward her new sister, but the sitters portray it as being snotty and bratty.  Here they all feel sorry for Jamie Newton.  As I recall, Jenny never attempted to dump punch on Andrea; she just wanted the stork to take her back.  You can tell who the sitters like best.

Claudia Outfits (squeee!)

• Claudia’s favorite art class outfit: “black jeans, a giant, bright blue t-shirt and a snake bracelet that I wore above my elbow.”  Jeans?  In summer?  I know it’s the east coast and all, but I’ve been there the end of June and there will be no jeans wearing for me!
• For Lucy’s Christening party: “A big loose, white shirt with black splotches all over it, and white knee pants that came just below my knees.  My shoes were dainty gold sandals that laced partway up my legs.  Top that off with pink flamingo earrings and a pink bracelet that said CLAUDIA in heart shaped beads.”  Hair:  "I braided it into four long braids, tied a ribbon around the tops of each and fastened the ends with butterfly clips."  Holy cow.  The hair alone would send me running for cover.

#30 Mary Anne and the Great Romance (or as I like to think of it, Mary Anne and the Shotgun Wedding)

Ok, so I’m Rachel and I was supposed to have the snark before Tory’s, but my oldest had to have an emergency appendectomy so I’ve been a bit busy.  Tory’s would have made more sense if I had since I’m doing the book before.  This isn’t my favorite book; it’s not even in the top 20, but Tory wanted to do hers, so I volunteered for this one.  How thoughtful and sensitive of me…. 

The book starts with dialogue. Mary Anne and Dawn having dinner together again because their parents are out on a date again.  Turns out they’ve been dating each other exclusively as of late.  We get their tumultuous history as Dawn and Mary Anne eat and clean up.  When they’re in Dawn’s room, Mary Anne describes the secret passage way and the ghost of Jared Mullray who (supposedly) haunts it. We have some massive foreshadowing as Mary Anne says she feels the most safe and comfortable when she’s in her own bed, in her own room, in her own house that she’s lived in forever.  Then the phone rings and lo and behold, it’s Kristy!  What better way to transition into the chapter two descriptions than with a sort of random phone call from the club president herself?

At the next day’s BSC meeting, the subplot is introduced with a call from Mrs. Arnold, the mother of the infamous Arnold twins.  Mary Anne gets the job and when she arrives to sit, she finds only Marilyn home; Carolyn is out with friends, which makes Marilyn a little lonely.  She tells Mary Anne about her new friend, Gozzie Kunka, who is from a foreign country and has lived all over because her father is a dignitary.  Mary Anne has no reason to believe this friend is not real and assumes she is.  Carolyn arrives home and immediately Marilyn accuses her of having friends who are snobs, spurring an argument.  The girls don’t talk much after that and the job ends.

Mary Anne arrives home and starts dinner. Her father comes in a few minutes later and suggests they invite Dawn over.  Over dinner, he suggests a surprise birthday party for Mrs. Schafer, small, just the three of them.  Mary Anne wonders why he’s making such a big deal about it since it’s not a “big” birthday, but starts thinking about what to get her as a present, since Dawn knows she’s getting her mom a day planner (seriously?  You can’t do better than that for your mother?).  Dawn, to be perfectly honest, isn’t all that helpful; she just shoots down Mary Anne’s ideas, saying it’s hard to explain, they are just so close, blah, blah, blah (remember that when Dawn decides to move back to Cali).  Things are awkward for a moment, then Mary Anne tells the Gozzie Kunka story and the fight is over. Yay, puppies, flowers blooming, butterscotch pudding and all that jazz.

Jessi has the next babysitting chapter, sitting for the Braddock kids.  Matt Braddock is deaf, but Jessi is versed in sign language and his sister Haley is fluent.  She’s also one of Carolyn’s new friends and they get together with the Pikes and play a game called Sardines, which sounds like a lot of fun.  Is it just me, or are people always going to other people’s houses when they’re sitting?  When my kids are sitting or being sat, they stay put...I’m not totally comfortable with them wandering all over or having friends over when my son is sitting, the whole liability thing and it’s not really fair to him either.  I digress, just like this chapter.  It’s really just there to point out that Marilyn and Carolyn aren’t really getting along.

Mary Anne sits for the Arnolds again and it’s a rainy day, an argumenty day, the girls driving each other nuts nit picking.  Mary Anne gets out a game and they play calmly for awhile until Carolyn flings an insult and they both storm off to their room.  Mary Anne tries to get them to talk to each other, tells them they’re sisters, they love each other, but all they are fixated on is that they want to be apart.  Marilyn puts a tape line down the middle of the room and they refuse to talk it out.  Mary Anne makes them take the tape down and then she heads for home. 

Oh, oh!  It’s the night of the big birthday surprise and Mary Anne and Dawn get dressed before their meeting so as not to waste any time after.  It’s a good thing too, or else they wouldn’t have had those 30 minutes to kill before it was time to leave.  They get to the restaurant, Sharon is surprised, everything is going well and here comes the cake!  On it is an engagement ring!  Holy diamond, Batman!  They’re getting married!  And they’ve known about it for awhile!  (Were you planning on telling the kids, or just moving their stuff in little by little?). Dawn says omg, we’re stepsisters, Mary Anne cries and happiness reigns.  They give Sharon her presents.  Mary Anne’s present is a charm replica of SHS’s high school class ring (seems more like something Dawn would get her, and the planner Mary Anne) and Dawn doesn’t seem too too thrilled about her mother’s response to the gift, putting a damper on the evening.  Later on, Mary Anne starts to wonder just how they are going to combine such different families, about how Sharon doesn’t like cats and what a neatnik her father is.  She then decides those are small potatoes and thinks instead about having a real live sister.  FORESHADOWING!! 

Dawn and Mary Anne tell everyone about the wedding at the next BSC meeting and Mary Anne slips Kristy a note telling her they’ll always be best friends.  Then they start talking about the Arnold girls and how they’re fighting and angry with each other.  Now, remember these points made in 11 and 13 year old wisdom: 1. Brothers and sisters don’t always get along.  That doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.  2. The girls are changing and their differences and interests might be in line more with one parent or the other’s personality.  3. Kristy mentions that her mom and Watson sided with their step-kids right after they got married to make their new kids like them.  Dawn and Mary Anne, are you listening??  (I don’t think so, because Dawn and Kristy have to have a conversation about this again in the next book.).

The next chapter is a Kristy sitting for her siblings chapter and the only interesting thing that happens is that Charlie buys the Junk Bucket.  Yawn.

Dawn and Mary Anne start planning for the wedding, conveniently forgetting their parents said “small”.  In BSC land, these kids are always planning their families’ weddings/birthdays/trips without really asking their parents about it.  As a mother, that would annoy the snot out of me.  Anyway, after they offload their ideas, there are two adults with food falling out of their mouths and crickets singing in the background.  Sharon and Richard announce they’re going to a justice of the peace.  The girls beg for a small church wedding and the parents give in.  I wish they would have stuck to the JoP, just so these girls would take it easy with the planning nonsense.  Mary Anne and Dawn go upstairs to hang out in Mary Anne’s room, gushing about being sisters when Dawn drops the bombshell that Mary Anne and Richard are moving into the Schafer house.  Mary Anne bursts a blood vessel yelling at Dawn about things Dawn has not control over and Richard and Sharon run upstairs.  Schafers head for home, Dawn crying, and Richard has a talk with Mary Anne.  Richard confesses it was his idea to wait because he knew she’d be upset about moving and he lays out all the reasons why it makes more sense to live in the Schafer house.  In the last post, Tory made a good point about combining assets and buying a new house together, a house they could make their own as a new family.  It’s not like the house is a mansion or something.  It’s a house with a barn.  If Sharon’s credit was awful, have Richard buy it and add her name later with a Quit Claim Deed.  Either way, it was pretty rotten not to have the girls in on the discussion at all.

Mary Anne’s rotten mood continues at her sitting job with the Arnolds, but she has the genius to suggest separate rooms and suddenly the girls’ problems are solved and they love each other again.  Boy do I wish it was just that easy!  It’s a good thing Mrs. Arnold is on board with the whole room switching around thing.  It would really suck if Mary Anne promised them they could have separate rooms and Mom came home and said, “no, the sewing room is staying a sewing room.”  Mary Anne should think about this experience before agreeing to room with Dawn.  I roomed with my best friend for the first two months of college before I moved out, short some clothes and a best friend.  Lesson learned: don’t room with your best friend.

Stacy sits for them after the great move and gets to see the redecorated rooms.  Carolyn and Marilyn are friendly again and Carolyn invites her sister to play with her and her friends and even extends the invitation to Gozzie Kunka.  Stacy is then hit with the thought that Gozzie is an imaginary friend and shares that with the rest of the BSC.  Mary Anne laughs and agrees that a foreign dignitary would never move to Stoneybrook.  Remember that when the line of tv stars, famous authors and FBI agents start moving in.

The wedding approaches, Mary Anne and Dawn decide to share a room at the new place and Jeff arrives, calling Richard “sir” all the time.  Hmm, I wonder why that could be?  Maybe because the last time Jeff was around Sharon was still dating the Trip Man and Richard was just another guy in the dating rotation.  This whole wedding happened very quickly without a lot of notice to anyone, much less the kids.  They weren't even going to tell Granny and Pop-Pop.  I'm not touching that one with a 10 foot pole.

On the wedding day, Claudia comes over and does Mary Anne’s makeup for the wedding.  You know, this book focuses a lot on Mary Anne and Dawn; I kind of miss the other club members, especially Claudia.  We only get one really good Claudia outfit in this book.  Anyway, they all arrive at the church, Mary Anne cries her makeup off during the ceremony and the Pike triplets and Jeff giggle at a naked angel.  Seriously, it’s not the 1500’s; who puts naked angels in a church in this day and age? 

Everyone heads out to Chez Maurice (boy, they get a lot of clientele during this book) and Dawn gives Mary Anne a now-we’re-sisters present, cheering her up a bit as the prospect of one last night in her house has gotten Mary Anne down.  Then it’s time for the throwing of the bouquet…

Thus concludes my take on this book.  It is jam packed full of, well, crabby children and inept parents.  Just another day in the BSC neighborhood!

#31 Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Hi all!  My name is Tory and this is my snark.  I picked this book because it was my absolute favorite as a kid (you should see my copy…it’s held together by tape and rubber bands) and I can kind of relate to it now since I have a blended family, although my stepsons aren’t bitchy teenaged girls. J  Let’s get to it, shall we? 

This book continues from the end of the previous book, which ends with Sharon tossing her bouquet.  So, we’re leaping, leaping, leaping for the bouquet and Mary Anne catches it!  Hooray!  Dawn is righteously angry since it is her mother’s bouquet and she should have caught it.  Why but of course, Dawn, it should be yours.  Anyway, she gets into the spirit of things and congratulates her new sister and segues into the description of the great romance between her mom and Richard and how they ended up getting married.  Her musings are ended when Sharon and Richard leave for their honeymoon and their 13-year-old daughters head to the Spier house to spend the night alone. Mommy Moment: Seriously?!  You are going to let your 13 year old daughters spend the night alone at your house? Really??  But then, Criminal Minds and Law & Order SVU weren’t on yet to scare parents out of their ever loving minds. 

The next morning MA and Dawn wake up early after not getting much sleep (um, duh?) and everyone arrives to help move.  Of course, Claudia comes over and gushes about MA moving, starting the train of tears that only gets worse as neighbors come over bringing food and best wishes as the movers cart boxes of clothing and cleaning supplies out of the house to the moving van.  Then they sail away on MA’s river of tears to the Schafer house to let the unpacking begin.  Mommy Moment: I would think it easier on all parties to combine their assets and buy a new house.  Then it doesn’t feel like one side is giving up everything and it makes adjusting easier for the kids.  In the previous book, the girls decided they should share a room together, but Dawn is starting to regret it.  MA hops around, annoying the movers as she shrieks for them to watch out for Tigger, who is meowing and wandering around the house. Common Sense Moment: Lock the cat in the bathroom and set those boxes outside the door; that’s what we did when we moved.  Problem solved.

By Sunday MA seems to be done moping and she and Dawn decide to swap clothes for school Monday.  Jeff leaves, but he confides to Dawn that he thinks the new family has trouble ahead.  Mommy Moment:  Whenever you combine two families who have their own way of doing things, there is an adjustment period and it doesn’t always go smoothly.  The adults in this book could have done a better job of preparing their kids for this. 

Monday doesn’t start so well, with Dawn tripping over Tigger and laughing at MA for shrieking about the bean sprouts in the refrigerator.  I would laugh too, in all honesty, to see someone shrieking about things in a refrigerator.  And I’ve seen some nasty junk growing, believe me.  So, being laughed at puts MA in a bad mood and they’re both crabby at the meeting.  Mallory leaves the meeting sick and there starts the subplot of the Pike plague, with Mal having chicken pox.

On Wednesday, they look over the record book to rebook Mal’s sitting jobs and there is a job for the sainted Perkins girls.  Dawn and MA are the only ones available and they both want the job, because who wouldn’t want to sit for the future Nobel prize winners living in humble Stoneybrook.  Then MA pulls out the “I-had-to-move-from-my-childhood-home-you-look-fat-in-my-skirt” line which culminates in Kristy breaking them up and having them draw straws.  MA gets the job and gloats it up.  When she comes home from the job a few nights later, she has the gall to sit on Dawn’s bed and say, “well, aren’t you going to ask me how the job went?” which really means “I have spent the last two days gloating and being snotty and now I have a cute story to share and I’m going to pretend I haven’t been acting bitchy.”  Of course Dawn bites and they are friends again.

We take a time out for a sitting job with Claudia at the Pike’s place.  Mal is sequestered in her room with the pox and the triplets are at the doctor.  The remaining kids play ER until the Mrs. Pike comes home and announces the boys have pneumonia.  This has been part 2 of the Pike Plague.

The next time we see Dawn, she is complaining about not liking weekends anymore because MA and Richard ruin it.  It seems instead of working to combine their lifestyles, Richard and Sharon just kind of exist and then argue.  Sharon is, well, a slob and Richard is a neat freak.  Sharon is a vegetarian, Richard is a carnivore.  Mommy Moment: Richard and Sharon, you are the adults, you are the parents.  Unfortunately for you, the honeymoon is over and you need to get this figured out.  My husband and I talked a lot before we got married so the transition was (slightly) easier for the kids.  The problems come to a head one Saturday when Richard wants to “spring clean” and Sharon wants to shop.  So they decide to clean, which Sharon does half heartedly.  MA follows her around with a dustbuster, which makes Dawn mad.  She decides to get revenge by switching Richard’s socks, which drives him nuts. Sorry, there’s organized and then there’s OCD.  When socks out of order drives you nuts, you might want to seek some professional help.  Just sayin’.  They have a nice dinner (take-out), which is ruined with a disagreement about when to clean up.  Richard and MA clean, Dawn and Sharon watch TV.  Then MA goes to make a dramatic exit which is ruined by Tigger puking on the rug, which irritates Sharon (who doesn’t like cats in the first place).  I always laugh at this part because cat puke is pretty gross and watching a cat puke is worse.

The fighting just gets worse and the following Friday is a dance at school, which Dawn isn’t going to because no one asked her.  Passive aggressive MA snots about having Logan and throws this lovely gem over her shoulder as she breezes out the door, “Don’t think of yourself as someone who can’t get a date, okay?  It isn’t healthy.”  Nice.  If my sister said that to me, she wouldn’t be able to get a date in the future either. Dawn comforts herself by calling Jeff (her real brother), then going to bed.  When MA comes in, she flips on the light and starts calling for Tigger, which wakes Dawn up.  Then MA tells her about the dance and simpers that she should have come even if she didn’t have a date.  For real, woman.  Yes, if this happened to me, my sister would have been pinned to the floor being pummeled for waking me up in the middle of the night.  But Dawn just loves her and starts to feel she’s her real sister again.  Barf.

Again we break to the Pike place, where Stacy is sitting today.  By this time Nicky has re-broken his previously broken finger (#14) plus two more, so he’s down for the count.  The Pikes are going to a tennis match they had expensive tickets for and don’t want to waste. Mommy Moment: I understand the need to get out of the house and away from sick kids and I think the Pikes get a bit of a bad rap in this book in other snarks.  I’m not sure I would feel comfortable leaving my kids, but if they can get a break to be recharged and refreshed to deal with their sick and injured brood, go for it.  While Stacy is sitting Vanessa crashes her bike and ends up with a severely sprained ankle.  This has been part 3 of the Pike Plague.

We rejoin Dawn feeling lonely as she waits alone at Claudia’s for the rest of the BSC to come for their meeting.  MA is hanging out with Kristy, and while this is normal, Dawn feels a little left out.  ~Sniff ~sniff …it’s understandable considering she and MA are supposed to be besties and sissies.  When MA and Kristy arrives, Dawn gets the cold shoulder from her sis, even when MA announces the For Sale sign is gone from her house. So of course Dawn works her hiney off trying to get MA to love her again and thinks she succeeds until the end of the meeting, when MA sets up a sleepover with Kristy the next weekend.  Zing!  Dawn is back to feeling left out.

Still, she’s nice to MA all evening as they settle down for homework.  It turns out Dawn needs music to concentrate, MA needs silence and after a few requests for silence, they begin to argue about who should leave so they can get their work done.  They begin to scream at each other loud enough to beckon Sharon and Richard.  Sharon sides with MA; Richard sides with Dawn. Mommy Moment: I sided with the boys once after we were married and I never did that again.  The hubby and I present a united front, not sides, and the boys know they can’t split us on issues.  Richard and Sharon – present a united front!  MA plays the martyr and announces she’s sleeping in the guest room before huffing out.

Last installment of the Pike Plague.  Jessi and Kristy head over to the Pike’s house to help Mallory (who is better) care for her family.  Claire and Margo have developed bronchitis, Mrs. Pike injured her knee playing tennis (with the way things had been trending, did she not read the signs and see any physical activity would likely end in disaster??) and Mr. Pike severely burned his hand making dinner and had spent most of the night in the ER.  So they called the BSC for some sitters/cooks/cleaners for the day. Mommy Moment: Lucky ducks.  If this happened to me, I’d be on crutches taking care of all the kids.  That’s all I have to say about that. 

After her day with the Pikes is over, Kristy stops and picks up MA, who has just informed Dawn that she’ll be moving back in with her on Sunday.  YAY!  Goody!  I love my sister!! No, Dawn wants MA out.  Actually, she talked to Kristy about how things were going with MA the day after the fight.  Kristy (being EXTREMELY mature) doesn’t take sides, but just gives Dawn good advice about blending a family, her main point being everyone needs space (emotional and physical).  Mommy Moment: Richard and Sharon, you knew people who blended families.  Why didn’t you talk to them about this before you got married?  You could have helped your kids out (although how much do teens listen…). I was a single, flaky chick, but I knew enough to talk to someone before I got married to a man with two kids. Just sayin’.    Dawn spends the afternoon thinking about how they’re struggling to be a new family and all the fights they’ve had and how things haven’t really been working as a whole.  She looks around her room, sees how little space there is and realizes she and MA need their own rooms.  But she can’t just kick MA out…then she sees the secret passage and the idea of getting revenge AND having MA decide on her own to move out sprouts in her mind.  She spends the rest of the week plotting and planning, including the poor Pike family in her revenge strategy.  So after MA leaves on Saturday, Dawn gets the preparations for Operation: Scare MA ready.

Boo-Boo Alert: Although Charlie is driving Kristy, Dawn says hi to Sam when they stop to pick up MA.  Nowhere is it mentioned that he’s along for the ride.

This is my absolute favorite part of the book.  Maybe because I’m a little passive aggressive myself and I’d probably do this too.  Dawn’s preparations are ready and she is antsy for Monday to be over.  During dinner that evening, she sneaks into the kitchen, dials the operator and has the phone ring.  Oh noes!  The Pikes are pooped and need help, so Dawn will go over when Sharon and Richard leave for their PTA meeting.  Or will she???  She doubles back, goes into the passage and creeps close to her room.  She throws some acorns at the wall, wobbles an old saw and plays “The Howling Winds” Halloween tape.  Then she does doorbell dash.  While MA is checking the door, she sneaks into the room through the passage and lays a silk rose on MA’s desk.  MA screams when she sees the rose, almost making Dawn scream too.  She waits 15 minutes, rings the doorbell again and runs through the passage to the room.  This time she leaves a chicken bone on MA’s desk and sneaks back into the passage, making sure not to latch the door all the way.  MA sees the bone and starts screaming again.  Common Sense Moment: I never went to med school but I defy you to find a chicken bone that looks anything like a finger bone.  I would have looked at it and said, "oh, a chicken bone" not "oh, a finger bone."  Dawn starts slowly opening the secret passage door, prompting more screaming and MA runs from the room in terror.  Dawn climbs into the room, grabs the bone and rose, and heads out of the barn to the house.  MA is clutching Tigger, scared out of her mind and assures Dawn that the passage is haunted and she will not sleep another night in that room.  They move MA into the guest room and Dawn gives her the “now we’re sisters” present she had for her.

Boo-Boo Alert: Dawn gave MA a “now we’re sisters” present in the previous book and MA decided to give one to Dawn.  As things stand, MA has gotten two presents and Dawn none.

Dawn and MA are getting along better now that they are in separate rooms and Richard (finally!) proposes a chore chart so that instead of arguing, things just get done.  Sharon suggests that they make a bunch of vegetarian and carnivorous food on the weekends and freeze it to be thawed and eaten during the week.  Dawn suggests they be more honest with each other, especially about likes and dislikes, instead of tiptoeing around and pretending things are okay.  Mommy Moment:  My husband sat the boys down right after we got married and we talked about this kind of stuff.  I don’t get why Richard and Sharon just pretended everything was perfect instantly and didn’t communicate anything to each other or their kids.

At the Friday BSC meeting, MA and Dawn announce the house has been sold to a family that is from a foreign country!  (And thus begins the parade of interesting people that move to/visit Stoneybrook).  Mal is back and announces that the Pike plague is over.  Kristy daydreams about new sitting charges.  All in all, a good meeting.  Dawn and MA head home to find Sharon sitting on the couch with Tigger in her lap purring.  What do you know?  This whole blended family thing might work out after all!

I really liked this book as a kid because a) I wanted to be a doctor and the Pike plague intrigued me, b) I thought the secret passage haunting was hilarious, albeit rather mean and c) I hated MA, could never relate to her in her books.  As I look back on it as a mommy, eesh.  What the heck were Richard and Sharon doing anyway?  Dawn?  Scaring the snot out of your sister was not the best way to get her to move out. If you had just sat down and talked about it, you both would have realized it’s for the best if you have separate rooms.  (In case you can’t tell, I’m big into communication.  Used to get paid to do it. J)  I still enjoy this book, but the mommy in me cringes every time I read it!

Ode to Chapter Two

Hey all, I'm up for the next snark.  My book is the girls' second time through the 8th grade and it's before they are cemented into their character traits (so the ghosties remember who is who), but chapter two is firmly established.  I decided to do one chapter two for all the readers who may not have read the series ever, although you'd only have to read one to get the gist.  Here goes:
Kristy Thomas:

• Athletic, coaches Krusher's softball team
• Big mouth, but lots of ideas
• Brown hair, brown eyes, short
• Dad's a bum, Mom remarried a millionaire Watson Brewer, lives in a mansion
• Brothers Sam, Charlie, and David Michael; Step siblings Karen and Andrew; adopted sister Emily Michelle, who is Vietnamese.
• President of the club

Mary Anne Spier:

• Shy, sensitive, cries a lot
• Brown hair, brown eyes, was short but had a growth spurt
• Tigger the kitten
• Mom died, no siblings
• Father was really strict, but recently started loosening up
• Father remarried high school sweetheart 
• Stepsister is Dawn, fellow club member, and stepbrother Jeff, who lives in California.
• Only sitter with a steady boyfriend, Logan Bruno
• Secretary of the club

Claudia Kishi

• Artistic
• "fashionable" dresser (I use quotes because seriously???)
•  Is smart, but not good at school (later books portray her as simply unintelligent)
• Sister Janine is a genius with IQ of 196
• Hides Nancy Drew and junk food in her room
• Japanese 
• Long black hair and almond shaped eyes, slim even though she eats junk food
• Meetings held in her room because she has a phone
• Vice President of the club

Stacey McGill

• From NYC (OMG!!)
• Only child
• Divorced parents, Dad in New York
• Blonde permed hair and blue eyes
• Math whiz
• Almost as fashionable as Claudia
• Has Type 1 Diabetes
• Is boy crazy
• Treasurer of the club

Dawn Schafer

• From California
• Parents divorced, Mom remarried high school sweetheart, Dad remarried Carol (later in series)
• Brother Jeff moved back to CA,  stepsister Mary Anne
• Individual
• Blonde hair and blue eyes, sometimes described as pretty sometimes interesting
• Vegetarian (obnoxiously so, although not at first)
• An activist ( also obnoxiously so)
• Eventually moves back to California
• Alternate officer of the club

Abby Stevenson

• From New York area
• Dad died in a car accident
• Twin sister Anna
• Mom is a workaholic
• Asthma and allergies galore
• Athletic, especially likes soccer
•  Long curly brown hair and eyes (sister's hair is short)
• Jewish
• Alternate officer of the club (post Dawn)

 Mallory Pike

• Oldest of a large family - Adam, Byron and Jordan (triplets), Vanessa, Nicky, Margo and Claire
• Red hair and hazel eyes (originally chestnut hair in the early books, then changed to red)
• Likes to write 
• Loves horses
• 6th grader
• Junior member of the club

Jessi Ramsey

• Oldest in her family - sister Becca and baby brother Squirt
• Talented ballet dancer
• Originally from New Jersey
• Loves horses
• Black
• 6th grader
• Junior member of the club

The club meets three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 5:30-6pm.  Jobs are recorded in the record book (MA is in charge) and details of sitting jobs are in the club notebook.  Members pay dues every Monday, and the money is used to pay Charlie for chauffeuring Kristy across town, stocking Kid-Kits (boxes they take to jobs with fun stuff for kids), and paying for supplies for one of the one million activities they do with their sitting charges.  If they are too busy, they can call associate members Logan Bruno and Shannon Kilbourne.  

There, all the info you'll ever need.  I always wondered why they didn't just write a book that outlined everything and sold it separately.  Then the book could just flow....well, as much as they could flow, especially the 5th or 6th time through 8th grade.  Ok, enough procrastinating on my snark.  Must. Read. Book.

#1 Kristy's Great Idea

As the mom who had the “great idea” to start this blog, I was assigned Kristy’s Great Idea to snark on a bit.  Now I really liked the first books of the series a lot before the great time warp began (I actually tried to justify it as a kid, thinking maybe it was the holiday from someone else’s point of view, etc…) and all the characters were cemented into their one character trait that all the ghost writers knew.  This is also the grace period before the advent of CHAPTER TWO, which I always ended up skipping.  I mean, who didn’t?  It’s like they cut and pasted from book to book, tweaking Claudia’s outfits and thinking up new ways to announce that Jessi’s black.

Main Story Summary:

We start by meeting Kristy Thomas on a hot day in September…that sounds wrong already.  Anyway, she leaps out of her seat with a loud hooray, is lectured by her teacher about decorum (Oooo, we get our grammar lesson in the first chapter) and heads for home to meet her little brother, David Michael, before he decides that no one loves him.  Mary Anne Spier, best sensitive bud, goes with her and they make lemonade and chat for awhile about this that and the other thing, the other thing being Claudia Kishi and man has she gotten weird!  She likes boys and art and buying clothes!  No!  Outrage!  Sorry, I get carried away.

Dinner time rolls around and Kristy’s mom comes in with a pizza and needs a sitter for DM the next day.  No can do, say Charlie, Sam and Kristy, which leads Mrs. Thomas to the phone trying to find a sitter while DM feels lower than slugs.  Poor kiddo.  Finally she calls Mrs. Newton, whose son Kristy is sitting for the next day, and she says DM can come over.  Anyway, the great idea for the club comes to Kristy and she chokes on her pepperoni with excitement.

It actually takes a little while for the club to get going, which is very realistic compared to later books where Kristy has a great idea and BAM! Next day they’re plastering fliers to light poles and recruiting toddlers for tiaras (my daughter will never do that…I’m so not a tiara mom!). Kristy and Mary Anne recruit Claudia, who then recruits Stacy, who is from (OMG!) New York, and before you know it, the BSC was born!

The flier is made up and passed around town, and it includes all of the sitters’ numbers and an invitation to call them at home outside of meeting times.  Kristy promptly forgets this is on there and will become irritated when a client calls and asks Claudia to sit.  Ummm…didn’t you make up the flier, my dear?  Hast thou forgotten what thou put on thine flier?

Anyway, they’re all excited at the first meeting and they get some new clients and they have their first sitting jobs:

• Kristy – Buffy and Pinky McKeever, two Saint Bernards.  Hmmm…lesson learned when talking to new clients: get information about “children” before hand.  Another great idea: club notebook! Sitters will always be prepared with knowledge from other jobs.
• Claudia – Jamie Newton + 3 naughty Feldman cousins.  Hmmm…lesson learned: always ask how many children you will be sitting for.
• Stacy – David Michael Thomas, brother to Charlie, Kristy and “gorgeous hunk” Sam. Hmmm…lesson learned: Stacy is boy crazy.
• Mary Anne – Karen and Andrew Brewer.  Hmmm….lesson learned:  Karen Brewer is a pill.

At the next meeting, the girls decide to celebrate their success with a pizza party…but Stacy’s going back to New York and might not be back in time, plus there’s her strict dieting to consider….then Mary Anne’s dad says she can’t spend her money on pizza…then Claudia’s parents say she should probably do the homework she hasn’t done since the beginning of the school year…and when Kristy calls Stacy to see if she’s back, Mrs. McGill lies to her.  Basically, the party falls apart.

At the meeting Monday, everything comes to a head.  Claudia and Mary Anne have good news: they’ll be able to party the next weekend!  Then Kristy calls Stacy’s mom out for lying, which leads to a big fight, pitting Kristy and Mary Anne against Claudia and Stacy and culminates with the groups storming out.

They do decide to hold their Wednesday meeting and everyone apologizes, and even Kristy admits she can be rude.  They decide to go ahead with the party and everyone meets at Kristy’s that Friday night.  Stacy confesses to them that the reason she is on a strict diet is because of her diabetes and that was partly why they moved to Stoneybrook, to escape the teasing of her former classmates. 

Kristy sits back and enjoys the party with her friends and is super stoked about the success of her great idea: THE BABYSITTERS CLUB!

Subplot Summary:

Kristy’s mom is dating Mr. Watson Brewer, a very rich man (not a millionaire as in later books) and Kristy’s not too thrilled about it.  She lets everyone know by insulting Watson when he brings the family dinner and being just downright rude.  She refuses to sit for his kids and tries to avoid him as best she can.  The announcement that Watson asked her mom to marry him only reassures her that she doesn’t want him as a stepfather.

As the pizza party falls apart, Watson calls needing an emergency sitter for his kids and Kristy has no choice but to go.  She ends up liking Andrew and Karen (back when Karen was precocious, not extreme brat) and FINALLY talks with her mom about how the relationship makes her feel.  She’s still not totally sold on the idea, but in the end gives her blessing and leaves Watson a note at his house telling him to call her if he needs a sitter for his kids and that she’s okay with them getting married.

Mommy Moments:

• Edie/Elizabeth, perhaps it would behoove you to make your calls in private, rather than stress out your 6-year-old son. 
• Also Edie/Elizabeth, if you’re friendly with Mrs. Newton, maybe that was the solution you should have started with?  Pretty sure she wouldn’t have minded, especially considering all the other kids that show up uninvited at her house when your daughter is sitting.
• I don’t care how mature my 12-year-old is, I am meeting the new “client” so that I at least know who my kid is going to sit for and can accurately describe them to a sketch artist if necessary.
• Dear Richard Spier, I don’t think placing unrealistic expectations on your child is a good idea, nor will it keep her extra safe.  It just makes her scared to ask you about things, especially things you don’t mind giving a little ground on.
• Dear Kishis, do you think Claudia's trying to tell you something by the way she dresses?
• I can understand not liking someone new coming into the family, especially after the rather nasty divorce you lived through, but being an asshat is not cool, Kristy.  Be polite, at the very least civil, and talk to your mom about how you feel!

Inconsistencies:

• Karen Brewer’s eyes are referred to as brown, but every other book she’s in they’re described as being blue.
• It says here that Kristy’s dad took off for California and got remarried, but doesn’t he get married again in Friends Forever: Kristy’s Big News?  Is that his third marriage? Fourth?  Lost count?
• Kristy’s mom is “Edie” in this book (Karen even calls her that) but later on is Elizabeth.  Is Edie an accepted nickname for Elizabeth or did someone decide Edie wasn’t a hip enough name?
• Isn’t Boo-Boo described as a black cat in other books?  I could be wrong, but here he’s gray.
• Apparently the Pike family had a cat at some point, although in Jessi Ramsey, Pet Sitter, Mallory claimed they’ve never had a pet.
• Not only does Claudia’s spelling get worse as the series goes on, her handwriting gets smaller and harder to read as well.

The Best Moms You'll Ever Have

Ok, so that might be a little bit of a stretch, but hey, the BSC aren't exactly the best friends you'll ever have either. :)  I was a great collector of the BSC books when I was a kid and when my first daughter was born, tada!  My mom presented me with my long lost collection of books to give to my little girl.  Seeing as how I hardly get to go to the bathroom alone, much less shopping or a date, I long for a club of overeager girls to come to my house and have parades and carnivals with my kids so I can shave my legs in private.  Upon re-reading the books, I am reintroduced to the (unintentional, I'm sure) humor and the absolute lack of parenting by many parents and my stay at home mom friends and I decided to give snarking these beloved classics from our point of view. So sit back and enjoy the ride.