#28 Welcome Back, Stacey!

I hate the flu.  ‘nough said.

The fates seem to think that I need to snark books about divorce, so of course I draw this one.  Hoorah.  Suffice it to say, it’s hard to read.  Also, the title kind of ruins the book; she doesn’t actually make her decision to move back to Stoneybrook until toward the end.  There really isn’t any suspense when the title is Welcome Back, Stacey and you see her friends (very very awkward looking friends) welcoming her home.  Seriously, Hodges.  Claudia looks like Tiger Wood’s sister and (I’m just assuming here) Mary Anne and Kristy are standing REALLY close to Claudia and waving awkwardly.

The book starts with Stacey shaking herself back to reality while she’s sitting.  She’s worrying about her parents fighting again instead of paying attention to the children.  Terrific!  We get her babysitting background and how she is the only person in her whole building who likes to sit so she gets a lot of jobs.  She’s also moved twice in the space of a year and wasn’t too thrilled about that.  Now her parents are fighting.  Her charges’ parents come home, pay her and she heads back to her place. 

As soon as she steps off the elevator, she hears her parents fighting.  They are really going at it, fighting about how much time Mr. McGill spends at the office, how much money Mrs. McGill is spending at the stores, how she wants them to move out of the city and how he’s not moving and commuting.  Stacey decides to run and visit Laine; she can’t go into the apartment, not with her parents fighting.  She runs to her apartment, crying and scares the living daylights of her friend.  Laine tries to calm her down and recommends she call Claudia. 

The entirety of chapter three is the exposition of each member of the BSC.  The. Entire. Chapter.

She calls, Claudia answers and instantly knows something’s wrong.  She has a small argument with Kristy over the use of her phone during meeting time, and is back on.  Stacey pours out her story and Claudia has no words of wisdom for her, so she passes her off to Dawn.  Stacey feels a little funny sharing family business with her, but Dawn kind of weedles out of her what has been happening.  Stacey changes the subject and asks about Jeff.  Then she talks to Mary Anne, Kristy, Jessi and Mal before she has to head home.  Laine assures her that her parents are probably making up and having a romantic dinner.

Stacey arrives home and her parents are quiet, not talking, but then they ask to talk to her.  Bad sign.  They pretty much just say, “We’re getting a divorce.”  Not that it’s a total surprise.  They cite irreconcilable differences and say that they really don’t love each other any more and that their marriage counselor advised and amicable divorce.  Mommy Moment:  It’s really hard to snark this book.  As a parent and a second wife, I have some very firm beliefs about divorce.  Marriage takes work and it’s terrible when there are issues that make it necessary.  But I think in this throw away society people don’t work at it and throw it away.  You have to be willing to make changes to your own life, to give something up.  If you can’t think of why you’d want to do it, look at your kids.  I have three reasons to make changes to myself for the good of my family.  Ok, off soapbox.

Stacey locks herself in her room for the night, in spite of her parents’ continual attempts to come in.  She gets up, gets dressed (short red pants with purple suspenders 0ver a bright yellow and black sweatshirt, purple push down socks  and a pair of red high tops) and ignores her parents.  She dawdles to school but doesn’t get into trouble.  She surmises she’ll get special treatment for awhile and decides to take advantage of it.  She wanders around downtown and finally arrives home around 6.  She tries to avoid her parents, but there’s a note taped to her door telling her to go back to the living room to talk to her parents.  Mommy Moment: Whoo-hoo!  They tell her the arrangements of the divorce, including the fact that she’s going to be in charge of choosing who the live with.  Mommy Moment: Boo.  Don’t make her choose between the two of you!!  Her dad is staying in the city, but her mom is thinking about moving back to Stoneybrook.  Mommy Moment:  Now we know she’s really trying to get Stacey to live with her.  Stacey tells them she can’t decide until she knows where they’re going to live. 

After dinner she retreats to her room and calls her friends, starting with Laine.  Laine begs her to stay in the city.  She calls Claudia next, who, of course, begs her to come back to Stoneybrook.  Then she calls Dawn for advice, who advises her on what’s going to happen.

Stacey has a sitting job for the Walkers (Grace and Henry) and once they’re asleep, she starts to ponder where she’s going to live  While she’s thinking she realizes Dad will be hurt if she lives with Mom and vice versa.  Mommy Moment: Again, boo.  Don’t make her choose between the two of you!!!  As she’s thinking about that she decides it would be better if she didn’t have to make the decision if her parents were back together.

So she tries a bunch of ideas to get them back together, but they see through it and she ends up in trouble by the end.  Good try, Stace.

Her mom heads to Stoneybrook to look for houses and Stacey comes along.  Her mom recommends that she call Claudia to come along.  They all go house hunting, see a few houses, but none of them really grab them.  There’s a house at the end that they like, that’s a little out of the price range but right behind the Pikes.  They don’t make any commitments.

Stacey stays and spends the night in Stoneybrook having a sleepover with the BSC. She has fun, but misses New York and feels a little guilty about it.

A few days later her dad comes home announcing that he’s found a place.  Her mom is slightly stunned (I think perhaps it her officially that her marriage really is over) and Stacey cries that she didn’t think that they would really get a divorce.  Sigh…poor kid.

A few days later her Mom calls the real estate agent in Stoneybrook and tells them to put the house back on the market because she doesn’t know if she needs a place that big.  Stacey makes out her own pros and cons list and decides to move to Stoneybrook.  And she’s right; her dad is hurt. 

They pack and argue and get on with life.  Poor kid.  She says goodbye to all her friends and the kids she sits for, has one last NYC breakfast, courtesy of Laine (it’s not like she’s never coming back) and gets on the road with her mom back to Stoneybrook.

Of course, everyone’s there with a banner and to give hugs, but when the hubbub dies down, it’s just Claudia and Stacey together.  Stacey admits she’s not 100% happy to be back and she’s not sure she made the right decision.  Claudia very sensibly points out that Stacey didn’t be asked to be put in this position; her parents did that.  She did the best she could.  Go Claudia!

One week later, Stacey and her mom finally get the house unpacked, even though it looks pretty bare.  Stacey’s mom asks how school is going and things are going well. She leaves to sit for Charlotte J and then heads to a BSC meeting.  It’s pretty much the same old same old: Mal complains about being 11, Kristy turns dictatorial and they get some jobs.  As Mal and Stacey ride their bikes home, Mal asks if she’s glad to be back.  Stacey says she is, but she knows deep down inside that she’ll always miss her dad and that there will always be something missing.  Mommy Moment: and it never goes away.  Just ask my stepkids.

#33 Claudia and the Great Search (Claudia's Wild Goose Chase)

The Yuletide festivities have passed, the presents have been opened and my hips are another inch wider.  Hoorah!  Tory is down with the flu after taking care of her own kids, so she’s taking it easy and I’m posting.

But today we re going to snark about a girl who can eat as much junk food as she wants without getting a pimple or gaining a pound.  It’s Claudia!  And she thinks she’s adopted!  Her logic is astounding and um, flawed.

We see Claudia snoozing her way through science, wondering why the word species is species no matter how many you have.  Well, Claud, it’s a Latin word used in English…but you don’t really care, so let’s move on.  She’s counting down the minutes because she gets to leave early today.  Janine is getting an award at her school; Claud and her family are going to attend the ceremony.  They are escorted to the front to the reserved section by a gushing teacher.  I don’t remember my school making such a big deal about awards; we had pep rallies.  Apparently they focus on academics here at SHS. Janine gets her award and afterward, the Kishis are approached by teachers.  Claudia is told again and again how they can hardly believe she and Janine are sisters.  Well, here’s a thought, Claud.  You’re dressed like a bad 80’s Sears catalogue (a very short black skirt, an oversized white shirt with pink and turquoise poodles printed all over it, flat turquoise shoes with straps, and a ton of jewelry, including poodle earrings.  Hair pulled to the side in a high pony tail with a pink clip) and Janine looks…normal (hair cut pageboy, pleated plaid skirt, white shirt with a round collar, stockings and blue heels).

Claudia doesn’t want her parents to think she’s jealous, so she’s happy to escape the auditorium and go home with her dad to the quiet of her room after all the interviews and congratulations that Janine has received.  We then have 19, yep 19 pages of exposition.  It’s a Monday, so it’s meeting day.  Kristy calls the meeting to order and instantly starts stressing about Emily Michelle.  Her pediatrician is concerned about her lack of speech development.  Apparently EM is also having nightmares and doesn’t even play like a two year old.  Well, let’s see here peeps.  This child has a) lost her mother b) been stuck in an orphanage c) been transferred to a new family in a new country d) been given an overachieving sister who demands nothing less than Gabby Perkins in a sister and e) now repeated her second year of life in the BSC time loop.  Do you think there might be some reasons why she’s not progressing?   Well, Kristy’s mom calls needing a sitter and Claud gets the job.

After the meeting, she’s back to being a little depressed, but decides to get creative with the dinner salad.  There’s a cake to go with dinner as well, to celebrate Janine’s achievement.  Along with her award, she gets $250, which she plans to put toward college.  Claud about spontaneously combusts; she’d blow the entire amount of money on a sweater (day-glo, never the less), art supplies ( not so bad) and candy.  Yes, child, be glad you don’t gain weight.  If you buy that amount of candy to eat, it’s a miracle you’re not suffering from childhood obesity and type 2 diabetes.  But then you and Stacey can be diabetes buddies.  Maybe that’s her goal!!

Claudia rustles through the living room and finds some photo albums.  They’re mostly of her mom and dad after their marriage and then an album of Janine.  But hardly any of Claudia.  Very few baby pictures.  She starts rustling through her dad’s desk, looking for pictures that weren’t put into albums and comes across a lock box.  Suddenly I understand why Claudia struggles in school; her logic is way flawed.  Because a) there aren’t a lot of pictures of her b) she and her sister don’t look a lot alike and c) there is a lock box in her dad’s desk, she’s adopted.  Yep, that’s a pretty big leap. 

She keeps her awful secret to herself for the next week.  She comes up with a couple of different scenarios of what happened; my favorite is the one where she’s stolen from the hospital, bought through a crooked lawyer for a huge sum of money and, when discovering they bought a stolen baby, her parents decided to go incognito.

Claudia manages to get through the week and heads to sit for EM and DM.  EM cries for her parents, as Claudia is warned she might.  She struggles through the evening and finally gets EM and DM to sleep.  Stacey calls and Claudia confesses her secret.  Stacey is skeptical, but consoles Claudia that she’s not related to Janine.  A loud crash of thunder and EM is awake with a nightmare, so Claud signs off, but not before warning Stacey to keep this a secret.

Dawn sits for EM and DM.  She stops EM from putting a pebble in her mouth and wonders if 2 year olds shouldn’t be putting things in their mouths anymore.  Well, when comparing EM to Gabby Perkins, it’s no surprise that she’s behind.  Any normal 2 year old would be.  There’s so much pressure put on kids now to do more and be more at younger and younger ages that it’s no surprise child suicide is on the rise.  Anyway, Kristy approaches Dawn, concerned about EM and how she didn’t make it into a school program because she’s not toilet trained.  I can’t think of ANY program that has that requirement for a two year old.  Grrr….

Claudia starts searching for her birth mother.  She starts with the agency the Brewers adopted EM through, called Love Bundles.  Seriously?!  That name just screams “illegitimate business!!!”  Turns out they only started five years previously and only deal with Vietnamese adoptions.  Claudia’s next step is to go to the bank to get her birth certificate, but she doesn’t exactly understand how the whole key thing works and ends up leaving embarrassed.  Her last stop is her pediatrician’s.  It turns out she had another pediatrician when she was born and didn’t start seeing Dr. Dellenkamp until she was almost 2.  The receptionist looks at her like she’s nuts and Claudia heads home, certain Mrs. Wilson is hiding something!!.  Dun, dun DUN!

Claudia sits for EM and DM again. DM takes off for a friend’s house and Claud is stuck er, staying behind with EM.  Claudia starts trying to get EM to pick different color crayons and give them to her and finally EM catches on to what Claud’s up to.  Elizabeth gets home, squees and asks Claudia to tutor EM.

Stacey sits for the St. Perkins girls, who make cookies without a recipe.  Stacey finds a book about adoption and mentions it to Claud.

Claudia has to have this book and checks it out of the library.  She also skims through the paper from the time she was born and finds birth announcements of baby girls who were born the same time she was.  Her name is not there…she must be adopted!  There is a girl named Resa Ho born around the time she was; it must be her!  She calls Stacey, who comes over to calm her down a bit.  Claudia goes through all of her discoveries and Stacey somewhat questions her logic.  Stacey, the mathematic genius, can’t sense that it is statistically improbable that her friend is adopted?  She actually encourages Claudia to start her search.  Heh boy.

Claudia calls all of the families, hoping to find out who is missing a daughter.  She is able to account for all of the girls…except Resa.  She calls Stacey (who is feeling tired) to dish and heads over to her house to take a break.

Kristy sits for DM.  He’s feeling left out and lonely because EM is getting so much attention.  They have a Krusher’s practice and Bart shows up to walk her home.  They arrive back at the mansion in time to see Nannie return with EM after her re-evaluation at the hoity-toity preschool.

The next day Claudia is tutoring Emily again.  Emily’s starting to talk more, knows some colors and shapes and today Claudia is going to teach her how to count.  Seriously?  My two year old can’t comprehensively count yet; she just zooms through the numbers.  I guess its time for a tutor.  As soon as EM leaves, Claudia calls Wyoming and the Hos.  She gets numbers for three Ho families and  is able to reach two of them.  One woman does not answer, so Claudia immediately assumes she is that woman’s daughter.  She calls Stacey, who (finally!) puts the breaks on Claudia’s imagination and tells her to talk to her parents about this.

She and barely get through dinner, to the point that her parents ask to talk to her.  She breaks down and starts crying, accusing them of lying to her about her birth and not telling her she’s adopted.  I’m sure of all the things her parents expected to come out of her mouth, that wasn’t it.  She spews out all of her “discoveries” and dares her parents to tell her it isn’t true, which, of course, it isn’t.  Turns out her birth was announced in a discontinued paper, there aren’t as many pictures of her because she’s the second child and her parents were busier and the lock box in her dad’s desk contains $500 in emergency money.  Claudia, of course, feels stupid, but her parents assure her they love and appreciate her for who she is.  Later, they show her a picture of Mimi at the same age and they could have been twins.

The Friday meeting arrives, along with Stacey, who is yet again beat.  Kristy arrives and announces that EM was reevaluated and the school says she will be accepted in the fall.  Claudia is to keep working with her because her mom wants EM to get used to being with people outside of her family. 

After the meeting, Claudia decides she likes being a part of her family and rousts Janine away from her computer to make dinner together.

Hoorah!

#27 Jessi and the Superbrat

Oh my goodness, this thing was a beast to get through.  Honestly.  We have one of the first ghostied novels here.  The author thanks Jan Carr for her help in preparing the manuscript.  It isn’t one of the more interesting books in the series, believe me.

The cover shows Jessi looking like Michael Jackson with a migraine.  I don’t know anyone who can contort their bodies like that. She is at a 90 degree angle at the waist.  Wow.

The book starts with Becca running through the house retrieving the family for TV time.  I guess TV isn’t evil yet.  But before we can sit down for the show, we have to have the chapter two information.  Then they sit down to watch P.S 162.  Becca reveals that the kid who plays Waldo used to live in Stoneybrook.  Jessi calls Mal and finds out his name: Derek Masters.  He used to be in Nicky’s class.  Jessi is ecstatic!

She slides into the meeting the next day and we meet the girls of the club.  During the meeting, Mrs. Masters calls to request a sitter for her boys, Derek and Todd.  Jessi is the only one free and squee!  She gets the job.

And because we wouldn’t be the BSC if we didn’t have a vocabulary lesson, Jessi defines carriage for us.  She’s in ballet class and it’s not going well until the end when she feels herself soaring.  Madame Noelle pulls Jessi aside and asks her if she’d like to audition for Swan Lake.  Jessi fantasizes about dancing the lead and decides to audition.

Jessi is excited to babysit for Derek and Todd.  Becca begs for information about the show, but Jessi promises himself and her sister that she’s going to focus on the kids, not the star.  Jessi and Derek have some back and forth conversation; Jessi asks about LA, Derek asks about life in Stoneybrook.  She plays Candy Land with the boys and tells Derek about her ballet audition.  He offers to be her director and to help her prepare for her auditions.

So Derek isn’t doing real well “getting back into real life.”  The other kids stare at him and ask weird questions, reporters show up for his first day back at school, he gets called names and gets into fights.  In particular, he has issues with a a boy named “John.”  “John” (because we all know it’s really Derek) does all sorts of nasty things.  Jessi is outraged and calls “John” a superbrat!  She informs the BSC posthaste so they can solve the problem.

Kristy sits for Karen, who invites Hannie and Amanda over to play.  Karen insists upon being the star.  Rah.

Jessi goes to her audition, is a little twigged out by all the dancers that are there (some are even from NYC!), but gets a callback.  She calls Mal to tell her and finds out from Mal that Derek threw food all over a kid at school.  Jessi defends him and says the superbrat must have pushed him too far.

Claudia sits for the Masters kids.  Derek feeds her more “john” bs and they run into some boys from school.  All of the kids start to hang out and end up having a really good time.

Jessi goes to her callback and, since she has a job sitting for the Masters right afterward, gets to perform not only for the director and panel, but also for Derek.  They head back to the Masters’ house, where Todd (oh yeah, the Masters had a second kid!) lets it spill that Derek’s in a movie and they’re going back to LA in a few weeks.  Jessi starts thinking she should go to LA too, just because Derek said it was a good idea. Yes!! Excellent deduction, Watson!

She starts writing down names and phone numbers of talent agencies to represent her.  While that stew is simmering, she decides to start planning a going away party.

When she raises it to the BSC, they can’t find a time, but they finally figure it out.  Then Mal spills the beans that Jessi made it to the second rounds of auditions.  Jessi’s a little upset she told, but then, she never said it was a secret.  You want it to be a secret, make it a secret, honey.

Jessi tries to convince her parents she should be a model and act, but they use logical arguments and common sense to counter her request.  In the end, they let her try calling agencies, as long as it’s not farther than Stamford.

Jessi tries to get more information from Derek about the acting/modeling word.  He invites Jessi to move in with them in LA while trying to get her big break.  Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Mal mentions to Jessi there’s no one in Derek’s class named John.  Jessi says he’s probably in another class or grade. Hmmmm

It’s party time!  The morning of Jessi’s big audition is when the party is.  They have games and breakfast food and non BSC charges SHOW UP FOR THE PARTY.  They eat food, play games and have a good time.

But, all good things must come to an end Jessi heads to her audition.  Jessi does her best and leaves it up to the fates.  She gets a call – she made it!

Jessi stops to tell Derek before he leaves and he tells her it’s great and that she won’t be going to LA soon.  Then we have the confession that Derek himself was “John” (oh shock and horrors) and he did all the nasty things John did.  Huh, totally did not see that one coming.

Mommy Moments:

• If my child was a “tv star” I’m not sure I’d try to get him back into normal life.  Life is obviously no longer that kind of normal.  Maybe it’s time to make a new norm.
• Along with that, what’s to stop the paparazzi from parking outside his school if they want to?
• Perhaps some consistency and continuity, Masters family, especially for Todd’s sake?  You’ve been here a few weeks and are now moving back to LA.
• I think Mama and Papa Ramsey are they best BSC parents.  They actually discuss things with their kids, rather than just saying, “yeah, sure, whatever you want honey.  Just don’t burn down the house.?”  They’re even going to let her try to get an agent, as long as it’s in their parameters.
•  

Claudia Outfits:

• A bright pink t-shirt, a short red flouncy skirt, and underneath the skirt she had on black footless tights that she had rolled up to mid-calf.

This is my first ghostied snark – if they’re all that awful, it’s going to be a long time between blog posts.!

Missing Posts

Sorry there haven't been any posts recently.  Between giving Tess a helping hand with her babies, dealing with the cold and flu season (this year it's a plethora of coughs) and the holidays, the snarking just hasn't happened.  Plus, I'm snarking Jessi and the Superbrat and it's just kind of boring, so that in and of itself is a challenge.  I PROMISE to try to get it done tonight.  I make no guarantees. :)

#29 Mallory and the Mystery Diary (Or Mallory Fixes it All)

Mallory, we love you, but if that’s your room on the cover, I can tell you why everyone considers you a nerd.  It looks like my mom’s bedroom in the late 80s; mine was a bit more…hip.

“If only I were thirteen instead of eleven.  Life would be a picnic.”  Yes, Mal, the instant you turn thirteen, life becomes a picnic.  Just wait until you turn fifteen.  Life will suddenly become an absolute dream.  And then we get an explanation of what a journal is and how her journal is just a notebook so she can write in it whenever she wants.  Did journals provide dates for you?  I’ve only ever seen ones that you can write your own date in.  “My eleventh year already seems a decade long.”  That might be because you’re already in your second year of being eleven.  Mom calls her downstairs and asks her to take a casserole over to Stacey and her mom, who recently moved back to Stoneybrook.  We get the chapter two spiel and see Stacey and her mom unpacking in their house.  They stumble over an old trunk and Mallory refuses to let Stacey and her mom throw it out and volunteers to take it home.  She drags it in and wonders what mysteries it holds.

The trunk remains locked and Mal and her siblings try all sorts of things to get it open. 

Dawn sits for the Barretts.  Buddy is reading below grade level and Mrs. Barrett is upset with herself.  Dawn volunteers the BSC to help tutor him.

So, the trunk still isn’t open and Mallory finally caves and lets her brothers smash the locks off the trunk.  The trunk contains clothing and a diary from 1894.  Vanessa dresses up in the clothes, and she and Mal exchange broaches and start dreaming about life in the past.  Mal decides to save the diary for a little light bedtime reading.

Mal tutors Buddy and tries to mimic school.  Buddy’s not thrilled about tutoring.

That night Mal decides to set aside her homework and read the diary of Sophie.  It turns out that Sophie’s mother died and her painting disappeared just after her burial.  Sophie’s grandfather blames Sophie’s father, and since the grandfather is wealthy, the whole town shuns the family.  Sophie is angry and vows to clear her father’s name or she will not rest easy when she dies.  Mal instantly assumes Stacey and her mom live in a haunted house!  There have been more than six families who lived in the house; obviously it’s haunted.

Kristy sits for her siblings and, since Mallory told them the story of the haunted house, she’s got ghosts and attics on the brain.  And Karen is visiting for the weekend, so of course she’s freaking everyone out.

Mallory’s at the BSC meeting, wearing a shirt that says I Heart Kids.  I think this could be massively misconstrued these days.  Mal describes everyone else’s clothing (nothing too exciting; Claud went back to the 50s for the day). They decide that Sophie’s grandfather was James Hickman, otherwise known as “Old Hickory” and her father could possibly be crazy Jared Mulray.

Mallory has another tutoring session with Buddy.  She decides to have him read comic books and write his own comic so that he can discover that reading is fun. 

Things are at a standstill with the mystery, so Mallory and her friends decide to have a séance.  Kristy demands to be the “channeler” and the rest of the girls decide to go along with it.  They meet at Stacey’s house and “Madame Kristin” begins the séance.  They try to channel Sophie’s spirit, Kristy pretends to be Sophie and finally everyone decides it’s time to eat.  Mal isn’t too disappointed; she didn’t expect to actually get Sophie.

Stacey sits for Charlotte.  Charlotte points out that things aren’t always what they seem and maybe they’re overlooking something.

Mallory has another tutoring session with Buddy and they read Encyclopedia Brown.  Mal tells him about the mystery and shows him the diary.  Buddy’s arm gets stuck in the trunk.  Buried in the pocket in the side of the trunk is Old Hickory’s confession.  He couldn’t bear to look at the portrait of his daughter, so he had it painted over.  When his friends asked where it was, he said in it was stolen and they automatically blamed Jared.  Old Hickory never said otherwise.  Buddy asks if they could look around Stacey’s attic to see if maybe the painting was moved there.  They call Stacey and thunder over to see if they can find the painting. After looking around for a few minutes, they find a picture of ships….that are sailing over a finger with a ring on it.  They show Mrs. McGill and she stops them from rubbing the painting with turpentine, but suggests they take it to a professional art restorer.  As the only adult prominently featured in this book, I’m glad she has one common sense line…and she follows that up with a comment about how she doesn’t want any ghosts in the house.  Great.

Mal runs Buddy home, explains to Mrs. Barrett how she miraculously cures Buddy of his reading troubles in less than three weeks (if a kid in 3^rd grade is struggling with sight words, there are other issues afoot other than “liking to read”).

At the next BSC meeting, Stacey rushes in with news about the painting; Mal asks her to wait until everyone gets there.  It turns out that it was the painting of a beautiful woman, most likely Sophie’s mother.  Stacey and her mom are going to hang the painting in their house so the spirits can all be together.  Rah.

Buddy then calls the meeting to tell Mallory that he’s been moved up from the crows to the robins in school reading groups.  Hooray!  All problems are solved, all mysteries are solved and everyone is happy.  Now I’m going to go swipe some trick-or-treat candy from my kids’ buckets.

#25 Mary Anne and the Search for Tigger

I’m sorry I’ve been dragging my feet on this snark folks.  I just can’t stand Mary Anne and I keep drawing her blasted books!

On the cover, Mary Anne is holding a bowl of catfood out to an invisible Tigger.  I’ve never lost a cat, but it makes more sense to me that she would scatter cat treats on the ground instead of holding a large dish of food.  I digress….I may do that a lot in this book.

So, we start with Dawn and Mary Anne riding their bikes to the cat store to buy more toys for Tigger because he keeps batting them behind the refrigerator.  Common Sense Moment: Move the stupid fridge instead of wasting your money on more new toys.  If you don’t ever move the fridge, I REALLY don’t want to see what’s under there.  We get the chapter two spiel and it’s not even chapter two yet.  I want to hang my head and cry.

They get back in time to give Tigger his toys and head to the BSC meeting.  More gobbledygook (the language of goblins) about meetings and procedures and MA gets a job sitting for Logan’s siblings.  Ironically enough, Logan is the one who calls the club to arrange a sitter for his sibs.

Richard still has some rules, including a rule that Logan cannot come in the house without an adult present.  So MA and Logan sit on the front step and hang out.  It’s an icky, almost raining Friday.  Logan is a little snappish, Jamie Newton comes over to play with Tigger and then Mariah and Gabbie come over.  After they leave, Charlotte J stops by to play with Tigger too.  I am amazed that Logan isn’t annoyed that his pseudo date with MA was interrupted by the neighborhood kiddos.  It’s time for the BSC meeting, but Tigger is so happy outside that MA leaves him out while she goes to the meeting.

MA gets home, starts dinner and realizes she hasn’t fed Tigger.  I just have to pause to say this cat has a mat that says “food please”.  MA is going to be one of those crazy cat ladies when she’s old, isn’t she?  You know, those people that feed their cats at the table and talk about Smoopkins as though he was a person.  She looks through the whole house (conveniently forgetting she left him OUTSIDE before the meeting) until her dad comes home.  Then both of them search outside in the dark.  Richard finally talks MA into going back in and having dinner.  She tries to remain calm until it’s bedtime and then she panics about Tigger again.  Richard tells her to go to bed; Tigger’s probably just off having and adventure.  But when the cat’s not back the next morning, Richard’s worried too and they take turns watching for Tigger.

MA breaks from TIggerWatch 1989 to babysit for Logan’s brother and sister.  Hunter is allergic to everything and Kerry is trying to stretch her independence wings. 

MA hurries home to see if Tigger’s back and he’s not.  She calls Kristy for an emergency meeting.  They meet at Claudia’s and MA sniffles through the story of the lost Tigger.  Mallory suggests posters, Claudia volunteers to draw a picture of Tigger and Kristy suggests a reward.  She also says her mom will run copies off at her office and they can hang them around the neighborhood the next day.  MA calls Logan to tell him about the Tigger problems, but he’s distracted by baseball, so she calmly hangs up on him.

Jessi has a sitting job for her siblings and has to write about it in the club notebook.  It’s really more about her reading Sounder and thinking about where Tigger is.

Sunday morning dawns and Kristy calls MA at 8am to tell her that they can go and paper the neighborhood.  MA runs into a kid who says he saw Tigger and can he please have the reward money?  They tell him to beat it and he scrams. 

They keep looking for Tigger and even when MA sits for the Newtons the next day, Jamie offers to continue to search.  They invite Mariah and Gabbie to go along with them, but still no Tigger.  They stop by MA’s house, she gets the mail and there’s a letter…Tigger has been catnapped!!!!  She calls Logan, who is massively underwhelemed, but volunteers to come to the meeting.  They all try to figure out what to do, when Logan suggests a plan.  MA drops an envelope of monopoly money and the rest of them hide out in the field to wait for the catnapper.   They all agree not to involve any adults.  Mommy Moment: If one of my kids felt that they couldn’t tell me something or about some problem they’re having, I’d be worried.  These girls NEVER go to an adult first, but their friends.  Is this normal teen behavior?

Dawn sits for the Barretts, and the kids are freaked out about their dog Pow possibly being napped.  Way to go, MA.  Jamie Newton has spread the word of the catnapping.  Perhaps you shouldn’t have been calling everyone and their uncle to tell them about your letter WHILE YOU WERE BABYSITTING!  Mommy Moment: If my kids are in bed, feel free to talk, text, browse the internet.  While they’re awake, I want you aware and paying attention to what is going on.

The next day, MA slogs through school, waits anxiously until it’s time to go and then heads to the drop location.  She pretends to go home, then doubles back to hid with Kristy.  Suddenly, someone approaches the rock.  It’s the same kid who demanded money while they were hanging posters!!  They confront him and he admits to just trying to get some easy money.  They let him go after they scold him a bit.  But where is Tigger?

Claudia sits for the Perkins girls and they talk about replacing Tigger.

At the same time, MA is sitting for Hunter and Kerry again.  Lo and behold, Kerry has Tigger hidden in her closet!  She saw him by the street one evening and decided he wasn’t being well taken care of, so she took him home.  You know, in spite of the fact that her brother is allergic to EVERYTHING.  You’d think once she saw the posters for the missing kitten that she would have given him back.  What a sanctimonious brat.  She’s just trying to show that she’s good and responsible, so she has a heart to heart talk with her mom.  MA decides that Logan must have known Kerry had Tigger and accuses him of being a liar.

Well, that hurts Logan and he is angry with her.  She says he’s hurt her by being gruff and crabby lately.  He says he’s about to get kicked off the baseball team so he’s sorry if he’s been distracted.  They promise to be honest with each other.

MA brings Tigger with her to the meeting, poo-pooing the idea she’s being as overprotective with her kitten.  Who cares?  Hes’ back and he’s happy.  And….he’s a kitten.

The Babies are Here!

Tess made it to within a month of her due date (October 28th) and today her babies were born!  Micah Daniel (5 lbs, 1oz, 17.5 inches long) and Merissa Delaney (5lb 8oz, 18 inches long) arrived at 1:22am and 1:40am respectively.  Micah's in the NICU with a little oxygen, but Merissa's breathing like a champ. Tess is tired, but relieved that everyone is okay and that she's done with pregnancy!  Hopefully she'll be up to snarking again in a few months!  Congratulations Tess and Jesse!